[bisnotch]

I dont have time for long crits. I shall keep this short and to the point.




DFelon204409-I thought it was somewhat short but your word choice, expression and subtle rhyming definitely made up for it.

bowl of oranges-I kind of liked the message, but hated the delivery. I thought it was just too vanilla.

ITRIEDVOODOOONCE-I thought I was going to hate how short it was, but **** that was badass. Excellent ending.

Disco Dragon-I think the rhyming took away from what could have been a really beautiful piece.

Necroses-bass-I'm not going to lie, I did not make it through. It was just screaming some sort of religious death metal. No me gusta mucho.

RunAmokRampant-I loved it. If I got the right message from that, then I think you expressed your thoughts perfectly.

bisnotch-Split this f*cking thing into f*cking stanzas. It's godawful.

Corupt2057-Man you had a great thing going until the whole crayola and baskin robbin metaphor. Still, I love the way you rhyme so smoothly.

JaveryAM-The first half sucked, the second half kicked way more ***.

addicted_tochaos-I really don't think it is hard to spell check. It's a useful tool. Other than that, well done, I don't like the repitition of some words but that's just a personal preference.

puredemocracy-I hate my father! ugh! sucky rhymes and horrible message. I'm sick of this whole angsty punk scene. You're all a bunch of gaping vaginas.

machinegunfunk-I hate political songs. It's so overdone. You delivered well and had a nice vocabulary though.

Dancin' Man-I didn't think it made much sense and I didn't like the things in quotes, but maybe it is because I'm not religious. Meh, that's what I think.

zer0gauge-At points, I thought it flowed well and was very catchy, but you took away from it with mediocre rhymes. I thought some of the lines were too short which makes me think you split it into two word lines to make it appear longer.

Crimsonpunk-I don't like it. I don't know why and I don't care.

SubtleDagger-The only thing I didn't like was the last stanza. It sounded like rap and I don't like that. Everything else was pretty much golden. I liked the little one liners in between stanzas.

DFelon204409-3
bowl of oranges-9
ITRIEDVOODOOONCE-2
Disco Dragon-8
Necroses-bass-10
RunAmokRampant-1
bisnotch-x
Corupt2057-6
JaveryAM-11
addicted_tochaos-5
puredemocracy-15
machinegunfunk-13
Dancin' Man-7
zer0gauge-12
Crimsonpunk-14
SubtleDagger-4