Sputnik Music Forums - View Single Post - Challenge 88 - Voting

WhatILivefoR · 05-31-2005, 08:17 PM

So. I went over the limit of characters in my last post, so here's the continuation of crits and eventually ranks.
Sorry if my critiques are too long and/or annoying...

Tyrion- Well, you have some easy rhymes. And they sound pretty forced; but, it's a start. Perhaps you should try to loosen up your style (no pun intended... seriously!) and not start off writing with a tight rhyming scheme. Often times people think that having a rhyming scheme will help their writing; make writing easier; or that poetry/lyrics have to rhyme. All are not true. Keeping to a strict rhyming scheme can be a rather large challenge for a skilled writer- to make it intelligent, unpredictable, and to make it sound fluid and not forced or out of place. You might find it easier to just write and feel the flow, and not worry about a rhyme scheme. I've found that a writer should find their style (of writing) before going up to the challenge of conforming to certain structures. That way you can have your own attack on the structure. Does this make any sense? I'm sorry- I'm pretty tired right now. I don't know how long you've been writing- and I'm not trying to offend you by "telling you how to write"- these are certainly all suggestions. But that's my two cents. As for the song itself, I would say that it's a start; but not the best right now.

Rushfan2112- Rhyming is forced. I don't particularly care for this piece, but you have a constant theme going. I don't have time now to do a full crit; if you want one, let me know.

13 kevbud187
4 DFelon204409
12 pixiesfanyo
1 toddcotham
3 SubtleDagger
7 super deluxe
5 bowl of oranges
14 SeasonOfTheMad
2 xKONRADx
8 addicted_tochaos
11 Corupt2057
9 jurialmunkey
6 Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
10 k.s.e.
15 Tyrion
16 Rushfan2112

05-31-2005, 08:17 PM	#13
WhatILivefoR Sciolist Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 226	So. I went over the limit of characters in my last post, so here's the continuation of crits and eventually ranks. Sorry if my critiques are too long and/or annoying... Tyrion- Well, you have some easy rhymes. And they sound pretty forced; but, it's a start. Perhaps you should try to loosen up your style (no pun intended... seriously!) and not start off writing with a tight rhyming scheme. Often times people think that having a rhyming scheme will help their writing; make writing easier; or that poetry/lyrics have to rhyme. All are not true. Keeping to a strict rhyming scheme can be a rather large challenge for a skilled writer- to make it intelligent, unpredictable, and to make it sound fluid and not forced or out of place. You might find it easier to just write and feel the flow, and not worry about a rhyme scheme. I've found that a writer should find their style (of writing) before going up to the challenge of conforming to certain structures. That way you can have your own attack on the structure. Does this make any sense? I'm sorry- I'm pretty tired right now. I don't know how long you've been writing- and I'm not trying to offend you by "telling you how to write"- these are certainly all suggestions. But that's my two cents. As for the song itself, I would say that it's a start; but not the best right now. Rushfan2112- Rhyming is forced. I don't particularly care for this piece, but you have a constant theme going. I don't have time now to do a full crit; if you want one, let me know. 13 kevbud187 4 DFelon204409 12 pixiesfanyo 1 toddcotham 3 SubtleDagger 7 super deluxe 5 bowl of oranges 14 SeasonOfTheMad 2 xKONRADx 8 addicted_tochaos 11 Corupt2057 9 jurialmunkey 6 Mighty Morphin Power Ranger 10 k.s.e. 15 Tyrion 16 Rushfan2112 Last edited by WhatILivefoR; 06-01-2005 at 07:16 PM.