Sputnik Music Forums - View Single Post - Challenge 88 - Voting

RunAmokRampant · 05-27-2005, 05:41 AM

Im going to vote because I feel obligated to return the favour for those who took the time to crit mine even though Im DQed

kevbud187 - 14th
Ok the story is ok but the narrative changes from the 3rd person narrative to a 1st person after the first verse. That is somethingyou have to be careful when writing lyrics and to decide what perspective you want your song in before you write else it gets confusing and does not feel right. I like the 4 line chorus part though.

DFelon204409 - 3rd
Tis a good story but it's going to take too long now for me to fully appreciate with only 1 read. But I get the message pretty well.

pixiesfanyo - 9th
I have no problems with the length and the vocabulary is top notch and the imagery is quite good. I don't like the last verse though, not a very climatic ending and it should lead into another stanza or something IMO. Still ok though.

toddcotham - 8th

SubtleDagger - 4th
Isn't a "Prophylactic" another word for a condom? Very amusing title and although this has an emo feel to it, I think if I heard this on the radio I'd be shocked utterly. Very different approach to a fimiliar topic. Good work

super deluxe - 2nd

bowl of oranges - 12th

SeasonOfTheMad - 16th

xKONRADx - 10th
I didn't like the warning line, came off a bit corny but I like the way you used the challenge word. I feel that your opening stanza is the strongest part of your song and the single lines build up a decent ending.

addicted_tochaos - 5th
I like this mainly for the really nice imagery you've got going on. "I'm living with a polygraph" and "Im tracing out circles" really stand out among others. The 3rd stanza is quite bizarre and another very different approach.

WhatILivefoR - 1st
Very nice language used and I like it when people can use higher vocabulary and actually know what they're talking about. But it is also woven with some well thought out imagery. A winner in my view

Corupt2057 - 13th

jurialmunkey - 11th

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger - 6th

k.s.e. - 7th

Tyrion - 15th

Rushfan2112 - 17th

05-27-2005, 05:41 AM	#7
RunAmokRampant Planeteer 4 life Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 4,949	Im going to vote because I feel obligated to return the favour for those who took the time to crit mine even though Im DQed kevbud187 - 14th Ok the story is ok but the narrative changes from the 3rd person narrative to a 1st person after the first verse. That is somethingyou have to be careful when writing lyrics and to decide what perspective you want your song in before you write else it gets confusing and does not feel right. I like the 4 line chorus part though. DFelon204409 - 3rd Tis a good story but it's going to take too long now for me to fully appreciate with only 1 read. But I get the message pretty well. pixiesfanyo - 9th I have no problems with the length and the vocabulary is top notch and the imagery is quite good. I don't like the last verse though, not a very climatic ending and it should lead into another stanza or something IMO. Still ok though. toddcotham - 8th SubtleDagger - 4th Isn't a "Prophylactic" another word for a condom? Very amusing title and although this has an emo feel to it, I think if I heard this on the radio I'd be shocked utterly. Very different approach to a fimiliar topic. Good work super deluxe - 2nd bowl of oranges - 12th SeasonOfTheMad - 16th xKONRADx - 10th I didn't like the warning line, came off a bit corny but I like the way you used the challenge word. I feel that your opening stanza is the strongest part of your song and the single lines build up a decent ending. addicted_tochaos - 5th I like this mainly for the really nice imagery you've got going on. "I'm living with a polygraph" and "Im tracing out circles" really stand out among others. The 3rd stanza is quite bizarre and another very different approach. WhatILivefoR - 1st Very nice language used and I like it when people can use higher vocabulary and actually know what they're talking about. But it is also woven with some well thought out imagery. A winner in my view Corupt2057 - 13th jurialmunkey - 11th Mighty Morphin Power Ranger - 6th k.s.e. - 7th Tyrion - 15th Rushfan2112 - 17th Last edited by RunAmokRampant; 06-03-2005 at 07:44 PM.