Sputnik Music Forums - View Single Post - Challenge 88 - Voting

toddcotham · 05-26-2005, 06:12 PM

Fine! I'll vote.

kevbud187 – The biggest downfall of this is the first verse. The language just didn’t seem natural. Unpoetic is not a word but that’s how I would describe it. I did, however, like the chorus as well as your use of the challenge word.

DFelon204409 – Great story. But that’s the only way I could make myself take it…as just a story. It’s different and I’ll give you props for taking the risk but for my taste it was just way too long and…I just don’t know.

pixiesfanyo – Rhyming seems a little forced but the story is done very well in such a short song. I do wish you would have stretched it out a little though.

toddcotham – ahem

SubtleDagger – Very nice. Nothing fancy but a very solid piece.

RunAmokRampant – I’m impressed, but no challenge word. Good work otherwise.

super deluxe – The beginning is awesome. It seems very singable. Nice work on the chorus and the ending was simple but effective. “mediocrity in motion”, good stuff.

bowl of oranges – Great job with the change in mood at “the sun can save.” I could really feel that. Aside from that nothing really grabbed me.

SeasonOfTheMad – It seemed like the only thing you were trying to accomplish was to make it rhyme. I’m definitely a fan of consistent rhyme schemes but I don’t use them if I can’t make it flow and sound natural. Never sacrifice quality to fit a rhyme scheme.

xKONRADx – There are some nice images in here but they flow of the piece bothered me a little. It feels…bouncy. Great job if you could smooth out the flow a little.

addicted_tochaos – Pretty good. I didn’t like how you used the challenge word. I thought there were other places that could have put it to better use. Good stuff overall.

WhatILivefoR – Some of the metaphors came off a bit cliché but were effective none-the-less. I could really hear it being sung in my head. The first verse comes off a little rocky but is a lot smoother through the rest of the song. Nice work.

Corupt2057 -

jurialmunkey

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger

k.s.e.

Tyrion

Rushfan2112

kevbud187 - 13
DFelon204409 - 10
pixiesfanyo – 6
toddcotham – durka durka
SubtleDagger - 1
RunAmokRampant – Dairy Queen
super deluxe - 2
bowl of oranges - 11
SeasonOfTheMad - 16
xKONRADx - 8
addicted_tochaos - 7
WhatILivefoR -3
Corupt2057 - 4
jurialmunkey - 5
Mighty Morphin Power Ranger - 12
k.s.e. - 9
Tyrion - 15
Rushfan2112 - 14

ok, here's my votes before I get DQ'd. I'll try to finish crits if I have time.

05-26-2005, 06:12 PM	#2
toddcotham articulate silence Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Lubbock, TX Posts: 717	Fine! I'll vote. kevbud187 – The biggest downfall of this is the first verse. The language just didn’t seem natural. Unpoetic is not a word but that’s how I would describe it. I did, however, like the chorus as well as your use of the challenge word. DFelon204409 – Great story. But that’s the only way I could make myself take it…as just a story. It’s different and I’ll give you props for taking the risk but for my taste it was just way too long and…I just don’t know. pixiesfanyo – Rhyming seems a little forced but the story is done very well in such a short song. I do wish you would have stretched it out a little though. toddcotham – ahem SubtleDagger – Very nice. Nothing fancy but a very solid piece. RunAmokRampant – I’m impressed, but no challenge word. Good work otherwise. super deluxe – The beginning is awesome. It seems very singable. Nice work on the chorus and the ending was simple but effective. “mediocrity in motion”, good stuff. bowl of oranges – Great job with the change in mood at “the sun can save.” I could really feel that. Aside from that nothing really grabbed me. SeasonOfTheMad – It seemed like the only thing you were trying to accomplish was to make it rhyme. I’m definitely a fan of consistent rhyme schemes but I don’t use them if I can’t make it flow and sound natural. Never sacrifice quality to fit a rhyme scheme. xKONRADx – There are some nice images in here but they flow of the piece bothered me a little. It feels…bouncy. Great job if you could smooth out the flow a little. addicted_tochaos – Pretty good. I didn’t like how you used the challenge word. I thought there were other places that could have put it to better use. Good stuff overall. WhatILivefoR – Some of the metaphors came off a bit cliché but were effective none-the-less. I could really hear it being sung in my head. The first verse comes off a little rocky but is a lot smoother through the rest of the song. Nice work. Corupt2057 - jurialmunkey Mighty Morphin Power Ranger k.s.e. Tyrion Rushfan2112 kevbud187 - 13 DFelon204409 - 10 pixiesfanyo – 6 toddcotham – durka durka SubtleDagger - 1 RunAmokRampant – Dairy Queen super deluxe - 2 bowl of oranges - 11 SeasonOfTheMad - 16 xKONRADx - 8 addicted_tochaos - 7 WhatILivefoR -3 Corupt2057 - 4 jurialmunkey - 5 Mighty Morphin Power Ranger - 12 k.s.e. - 9 Tyrion - 15 Rushfan2112 - 14 ok, here's my votes before I get DQ'd. I'll try to finish crits if I have time. Last edited by toddcotham; 06-03-2005 at 08:51 AM.