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Guest
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Corrupt
Side note, saw Edward Scissorhands on the other day, its one of those movies that’s only good once, but is really good that first time you see it…
Anyway, “Pacifying my wanderlust.. in this pastel paradise,” that was an insanely cool line, and it had the challenge word in it…awesome…
The only real complaint I have is that it’s too long, I dunno how long the song for this would be, but it would almost defiantly lose my attention…but nice work here…
8.5/10
1st
Mr. Hankie
Yeah, I didn’t like this before I read it, “traveling sucks” isn’t a real attention grabber for a song…but, continuing…your I musts are annoying, repitive, and a tounge twister (I seriously challenge anyone to say those three times fast, I couldnt)…Interesting piece, try naming it something cooler, that would defiantly help it…something awesome like “Traveling Chronicles”…actually, that sucks, don’t listen to me…
5.5/10
7th
Disco Dragon
This lacks a title…though it does make me laugh a little on some lines, if that was oyur intent, nice job…but wanderlust seems misused here…imo, and that’s the whole point me thinks…
6.5/10
6th
RunAmok
I like this…the rhyming scheme is…I can’t find it…so that didn’t help you with my grade…but this has a quality of serousness that I like to it, and that redeemed it…
7.5/10
4th
6945
And kick *** phrase of the contest goes to “Put dawn in the mirror, Attitude adjustment in gear, Throttle up…lean back….disappear” that was awesome, but other than that this really didn’t do much for me…unfolds implodes, recode really annoys me…and I absolutely hate it when some one uses a cuss word in a lyric, it takes away any seriousness that the lyric had, and this is defiantly the impression I got with this
8/10
3rd
SeasonOfTheMad
I like your chorus, that’s a good chorus right there…the rest of the song is iffy…it lacks some stand out awesomeness, but there really is nothing I can complain about here, for a first entry that was awesome…
8/10
2nd
Super Deluxe
It’s a good thing we don’t use paper, what a waste of tree that would be! And you can think I’m a stupid ho all you want, I think this was crappy, and this takes up time and space…I mean, how crappy is that, why don’t you just not bother entering and save us all a little time…like me for instance, I could have said “this sucks” and left it at that, but I wanted you to read a little bit more just to be annoying…and I liked the word wanderlust myself…althoughactually, to give a positive, there was nothing wrong with the flow of your song…
.5/10
9th
Jurialmunkey
I raised this comment on the other lyric forum…I’m getting tired of seeing all the murder and death and blood comments in songs…be a little original sometime….and **** her **** her isn’t my idea of an ingenious line either…the z’s in the beginning paragraph (which I will discuss in a minute) were also annoying. This line was confusing as well, in the literal sense, “I've already killed myself; over you, over you..,My lung grieves the stabbing sting; so slowly, I'm dying..” If you’re already dead, how can you be dying slowly…maybe change it to, “so slowly, was dying”, but that’s just my thought…ok, now, a paragraph shouldn’t open a lyric, the whole point is it fits to song….spoken lyrics like this just don’t grab me as cool….more as “hey, I can’t find any other way to introduce this”…shows lack of effort
5/10
8th
Addicted_tochaos
This is interesting, and I feel it’s out of my reach of comprehension as to what exactly your talking about, so I’ll judge it on pure rhyme and such…this confused me a lot, you were talking about “no one being around” but then you start reffering to you…”you’re assigned a pretty face”…it confuses me…this also seemed to try to cram in the word wanderlust (literally saved it for the last word), rhyming scheme was again, non existent, or else very chaotic…unable to be followed if it was a scheme….so ya know, I don’t like that…but not bad really…
7/10
5th
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