Sputnik Music Forums - View Single Post

RunAmokRampant · 03-22-2005, 12:23 AM

pixiesfanyo 8.5/10 1st
Be a shame if you're not added. This is well made. Even though I'm not a big fan in your simple rhyming scheme in the 2nd and 4th stanza, it fits perfectly. Strange but in a good way.

BBB 7.5/10 4th
Again a nice mystical kind of tone within the song. Sinple yet effectively structure. Short but not too vague. Ambiguity (sp) in its truest form. Well done.

A perfect sonnet 6.5/10 6th
Wow is this a trend?. Again to me this similar to the previous 2 pieces. Maybe its just the I perceive it and this is definately up to scratch. It just doesn't as interest me or as attention grabbing. A twisted love song? Not really my cup of tea.

Corupt2057 6/10 7th
Not bad, not bad. A bit forceful in getting the message across and this line I dont like "Beauty is indefinite for lack of adequate illumination". Sound like someone giving a lecture. But other than that, not a bad effort

apartofmegetsore 5.5/10 8th
Ok, first off I don't particulary like to use "lies" much in songs. It is such a boring topic unless used cleverly. It's just me because songs about lies and betrayal are all the same to me. It's ok, some nice flow happening, a bit confusing in the direction of the song but it's ok I guess.

Rushfan2112 5/10 9th
I really dislike your chorus. It's just the way it's set out, I don't like the "-Aesthetic-Cosmetic-Kinetic-Pathetic". It just doesn't make sense to me regarding to the theme of the song and the title.

Thepurplewater 8/10 2nd
I just love the simplicity of this song. It's interesting and the imagery is great. Nice story and somewhat emotionaly attaching. Good effort.

addicted tochaos 7.5/10 5th
Love the imagery in this song and although some of its lost on me "There's a whole world below the flowerbeds" some of your lines are great. Great use of words and vocabulary.

Careyb 4/10 10th
I hate the chorus in this song. The repetition is bland and boring. The rest isn't all that flash either. Needs to be revised or just thrown out. Not terrible terrible, just not good.

k.s.e. 8/10 3th
You have yet to disappoint me k.s.e.

03-22-2005, 12:23 AM	#4
RunAmokRampant Planeteer 4 life Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 4,949	pixiesfanyo 8.5/10 1st Be a shame if you're not added. This is well made. Even though I'm not a big fan in your simple rhyming scheme in the 2nd and 4th stanza, it fits perfectly. Strange but in a good way. BBB 7.5/10 4th Again a nice mystical kind of tone within the song. Sinple yet effectively structure. Short but not too vague. Ambiguity (sp) in its truest form. Well done. A perfect sonnet 6.5/10 6th Wow is this a trend?. Again to me this similar to the previous 2 pieces. Maybe its just the I perceive it and this is definately up to scratch. It just doesn't as interest me or as attention grabbing. A twisted love song? Not really my cup of tea. Corupt2057 6/10 7th Not bad, not bad. A bit forceful in getting the message across and this line I dont like "Beauty is indefinite for lack of adequate illumination". Sound like someone giving a lecture. But other than that, not a bad effort apartofmegetsore 5.5/10 8th Ok, first off I don't particulary like to use "lies" much in songs. It is such a boring topic unless used cleverly. It's just me because songs about lies and betrayal are all the same to me. It's ok, some nice flow happening, a bit confusing in the direction of the song but it's ok I guess. Rushfan2112 5/10 9th I really dislike your chorus. It's just the way it's set out, I don't like the "-Aesthetic-Cosmetic-Kinetic-Pathetic". It just doesn't make sense to me regarding to the theme of the song and the title. Thepurplewater 8/10 2nd I just love the simplicity of this song. It's interesting and the imagery is great. Nice story and somewhat emotionaly attaching. Good effort. addicted tochaos 7.5/10 5th Love the imagery in this song and although some of its lost on me "There's a whole world below the flowerbeds" some of your lines are great. Great use of words and vocabulary. Careyb 4/10 10th I hate the chorus in this song. The repetition is bland and boring. The rest isn't all that flash either. Needs to be revised or just thrown out. Not terrible terrible, just not good. k.s.e. 8/10 3th You have yet to disappoint me k.s.e. Last edited by RunAmokRampant; 03-29-2005 at 01:23 AM.