before i opened this thread i thought 'ooOo, a morrissey song. maybe i should go through this systematically and do a really useful crit, analysing each stanza seperately'... **** that. its a monster.
when i read it i really got a feel for the tune, although some of the lines like
and every good thing that you knew never mattered anyway
took a few reads to fit this.
And If I could think of anything to say I guess I wouldn't be
Speechless. Standing. Waiting.
It's only 11 but it feels like 3.
And it's cold enough to warrant a reason to leave.
And if I could think of anything to feel I guess I wouldn't be
Useless. Listen. Nothing.
It's half past 2 but it feels like 3.
Why do bad things always happen to me?
these were great. really like the structure. very smithesque.
I remind you to call me guess I shouldn't have spoken
this was another line that really got me. i have no idea why really (helpful) just liked it a lot. although stick a comma in there for good measure.
overall a lot of the ideas were a little less original than i would hope to see from you, but i can deal with that.
Ooo some more like
And as my good life fades, its taken away
At least I never had the decency to care anyway
Mmm, sweeeeeeeeeeeeet words.
oh and starting a song with
and is always good fun.
overall a 7.5/10 good job
