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Old 11-05-2004, 04:57 PM   #19
CofDdrums12
Some guy
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 304
Quote:
walking through the pieces of my shattered life
i find a shard of the things i did in spite
of the fact that what i was doing was wrong
and i regret it now that its said and done
The first two lines rhyme, which was a general theme for your verses...but "wrong" and "done" don't rhyme, I suggest fixing that.

I like everything else though...but...may I suggest making the verses or chorus longer?
It seemed a bit too short.

and for pixiesfanyo...
Quote:
You should entitle this song "Crawling" since Linkin' Park already made it.
I know that song, and this isn't like it. So stop hatin'.

Nice job PbEknight777
8.5/10
Later for you.
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