|
It's...okay. First off, the line "waiting for who the blame rests" doesn't make sense to me. Gramatically, it would be "for whom the blame rests upon" or something like that. Unless I'm misinterpreting it. Secondly, I don't like the AAAA rhyming of the chorus. I think you should change the first line of the chorus to a non-rhyme, so that it's ABBB. I think that would give it a fresh sound, and take away the lame-ish "together/forever" rhyme. Try to use a more poetic or metaphoric line as the replacement, too. A small change like that could really make this song way better.
|