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Originally Posted by nightshade2600
haha, about the extra words... littlejohn caught it, i was a little... *out of it* this morning... and it caught my attention but i forgot about it... definitely change it to 'like paper in the rain'... and one more thing, you might want to take out the word 'drawn' in "is it to late, to see whats written drawn" but other than that... yeah. clean up the chorus too. just pack each two lines into one. its easier to deal with the rhythm this way... and
crit my song! the rest of forever... its.... different. so crit it.
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I agree that you need to take out drawn...
I was not really sure where you were going with that so I just didn't comment on it in case I would be made fool for not understanding.