Sputnik Music Forums - View Single Post - Challenge 97

KeepingTheBlade · 11-03-2005, 06:17 PM

TojesDolan - A straight forward piece. A bright part of this piece were the simple metaphors that although fairly obvious, it showed a certain depth to it. but getting into the third stanza.. I could tell that you were going for something emotional and meaningful but the words weren't very inspiring to get that idea across. 6.0 / 6

RunAmokRampant - This was somewhat vague. I read it through a few times and it was difficult grasp an idea fully because the metaphors seemed to jump around at times. Some kind of envy and resolution that wasn't entirely too clear to me because of the shakiness in the piece. 5.6 / 7

MMPR - There were some beautiful ideas in this piece that were also very clever, especially in the second verse. It left colorful images in the reader's mind of a descriptive life and the renewal of tomorrow. 6.8 / 5

Dancin' Man - I'm not sure if this was a joke but it was very lackluster. The very premise of the style that you decided to write in restricted you and the piece from the beginning. And I wasn't sure if the mispellings were a play on words or on purpose but that really hurt your entry a lot also. It was straight forward for the most part. The use of descriptions were apparent and to me it seemed like an amalgam of reality and fantasy in some parts for the sake of describing this life that was endured which was somewhat of a plus. 3.0 / 13

Bowl of Oranges - Very get to it. It lacks a lot of needed emotion. Otherwise it just seems like a mundane rant of a pompous man's thoughts and ideaation. 5.0 / 12

SubtleDagger - good imagery. paints an image in every line vividly. 7.0 / 3

Pixiesfanyo - To me, this was a beautiful use of wording and imagery. You captured a moment with the right words. 7.3 / 1

ATC - THe beauty in this is in it's meaning. Somewhat of a revelation and wishes limited by reality. Atleast to me.. 7.2 / 2

Silenceevolves - The words inspire a lack of depth. A memory recalled that really was contrived something mediocre. 5.2 / 11

xKonradx - It spent a lot of time describing a lot of what was around,, the enviroment of the situation, Which was done fairly well. but i felt like it didn't really strike me much on definition. 5.4 / 9

Lowridenn - This was written very well. Some of the wording was very inspiring. But the structure, though unique, was some what of a it's downfall. 6.9 / 4

Scared4Life - This was somewhat of an ambivalence. Some of what was contrived was done well but the rhymes seemed very forced and at times.. it seemed like it was done just for the sake of rhyming, making it shallow. 5.5 / 8

CrimsonPunk - Straight forward. The words used seemed very stale making it seem more superficial then what it was(mainly the first stanza). But some of the third stanza brought a little much needed life into this. 5.3 / 10

11-03-2005, 06:17 PM	#11
KeepingTheBlade . Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 12	TojesDolan - A straight forward piece. A bright part of this piece were the simple metaphors that although fairly obvious, it showed a certain depth to it. but getting into the third stanza.. I could tell that you were going for something emotional and meaningful but the words weren't very inspiring to get that idea across. 6.0 / 6 RunAmokRampant - This was somewhat vague. I read it through a few times and it was difficult grasp an idea fully because the metaphors seemed to jump around at times. Some kind of envy and resolution that wasn't entirely too clear to me because of the shakiness in the piece. 5.6 / 7 MMPR - There were some beautiful ideas in this piece that were also very clever, especially in the second verse. It left colorful images in the reader's mind of a descriptive life and the renewal of tomorrow. 6.8 / 5 Dancin' Man - I'm not sure if this was a joke but it was very lackluster. The very premise of the style that you decided to write in restricted you and the piece from the beginning. And I wasn't sure if the mispellings were a play on words or on purpose but that really hurt your entry a lot also. It was straight forward for the most part. The use of descriptions were apparent and to me it seemed like an amalgam of reality and fantasy in some parts for the sake of describing this life that was endured which was somewhat of a plus. 3.0 / 13 Bowl of Oranges - Very get to it. It lacks a lot of needed emotion. Otherwise it just seems like a mundane rant of a pompous man's thoughts and ideaation. 5.0 / 12 SubtleDagger - good imagery. paints an image in every line vividly. 7.0 / 3 Pixiesfanyo - To me, this was a beautiful use of wording and imagery. You captured a moment with the right words. 7.3 / 1 ATC - THe beauty in this is in it's meaning. Somewhat of a revelation and wishes limited by reality. Atleast to me.. 7.2 / 2 Silenceevolves - The words inspire a lack of depth. A memory recalled that really was contrived something mediocre. 5.2 / 11 xKonradx - It spent a lot of time describing a lot of what was around,, the enviroment of the situation, Which was done fairly well. but i felt like it didn't really strike me much on definition. 5.4 / 9 Lowridenn - This was written very well. Some of the wording was very inspiring. But the structure, though unique, was some what of a it's downfall. 6.9 / 4 Scared4Life - This was somewhat of an ambivalence. Some of what was contrived was done well but the rhymes seemed very forced and at times.. it seemed like it was done just for the sake of rhyming, making it shallow. 5.5 / 8 CrimsonPunk - Straight forward. The words used seemed very stale making it seem more superficial then what it was(mainly the first stanza). But some of the third stanza brought a little much needed life into this. 5.3 / 10 Last edited by KeepingTheBlade; 11-07-2005 at 12:54 AM.