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oathfbass
05-29-2009, 04:05 PM
“My name may be Thom Yorke, but only I can call me Thom Yorke.” ~ Thom Yorke

"I am the greatest thing to happen to black music." ~ Thom Yorke

"Have I told you I have cancer? It's a very special kind of cancer. Cancer of the soul." ~ Thom Yorke

"I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me." ~ Thom Yorke

"Ironically my brother died in a car accident shortly after Airbag was recorded. He's not an identical twin so I didn't care." ~ Thom Yorke

"The concept of Kid A? How about the concept of I kick your ****ing ***." ~ Thom Yorke

"The band often jokes that I stole Jonny's "H" and put it in my name. That's funny as hell mother****er I dare you not to laugh" ~ Thom Yorke

"Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me." ~ Thom Yorke

"I'm not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours" ~ Thom Yorke

"The only thing worse than Radiohead fans is everything else except me" ~ Thom Yorke

"Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey" ~ Thom Yorke

"Look at that fat kid, in the audience. You want some pie you little fatty? I strongly dislike fat kids. Security, please remove him, that fat kid, over there, by the pies." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face" ~ Thom Yorke

"I've been reading a book lately. That book is Thom Yorke, and the conclusion is that he's brilliant." ~ Thom Yorke

"Trying to find my flaws is like trying to find a black person at one of our concerts" ~ Thom Yorke

"The only thing more difficult than being a God is being Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke has all these responsibilities, to save the planet. To save the world. To redeem Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"I'm celibate. It's not that I'm a religious or moral person or anything, it's just, if you aren't ****ing Thom Yorke, what's the point? Actually, just kidding, Thom Yorke and I **** all the time. Hehehe. Had you." ~ Thom Yorke

"One person can't change the world. But Thom Yorke can, because he's two people. Both of them are Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified." ~ Thom Yorke

"When I was born, my mother didn't know what to name me. Eventually she named me after Thom Yorke." ~Thom Yorke

"I wear lampshades on my head and stand in people's living rooms. They're like 'Billy can you go turn on the light?' and I whisper 'you mean turn on the thom yorke' *chortle*" ~ Thom Yorke

"Cellphones give you cancer? I give you cancer." ~ Thom Yorke

"I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"Kid A is about an abortion. An abortion of the soul. *Begins to cry, holds up air quotes* Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

"I recently enrolled at an elementary school and they accepted me. I am finally going to get revenge on those kids that beat me up as a boy, assuming they are still attending." ~ Thom Yorke

"If I was made of chocolate I would melt myself in a car to ruin the interior." ~ Thom Yorke

“I don't think I have a superiority complex. I have a "you're not Thom Yorke" complex.” ~ Thom Yorke

"Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'" ~ Thom Yorke

"My parents mistook me for a sack of potatoes so I sat in the corner of the kitchen for the first 13 years of my life. My birth name is Thom Potatoes *laughs*." ~ Thom Potatoes

"I love listening to music with my mate. We don't do it often, but when we do we'll just sit there and lose our heads in it. Sooner or later he'll start saying something to the effect of "Hey, Thom, can you put in something else now?" but I'll just nod coldly and respond "not just yet". But after awhile, I'll finally budge. And that's when I crack a big smile and take out The Bends and put in Kid A. My friend just sighs and leaves the room, and I can't blame him. He's not ready for that leap yet." - Thom Yorke

"You know, it's never easy to understand why I do what I do. For other people, I mean." - Thom Yorke

"I don't eat food, I Thom Yorke it. What's the difference? When normal people "eat" food, they first chew it with their "teeth" until it's small enough to go through their "esophagus" and then be broken down in their "stomach" and absorbed. When I Thom Yorke food, I chew it with my Thom Yorkes until it's small enough to go through my Yorke tube. It's then broken down in my Thomach, where if I eat too much sweets, I get a mean Thommy ache! But it's okay because Jonny's usually there to rub the pain out." - Thom Yorke

McP3000
05-29-2009, 04:27 PM
cool story bro

Woosah
05-29-2009, 04:38 PM
pretentious wanker

kitsch
05-29-2009, 05:12 PM
i lol'd

EightMilesHigh
05-29-2009, 05:43 PM
i've seen them live

BenX02
05-29-2009, 08:04 PM
Are these real? Because if so, I'm going to stick like half of them in my 'favorite quotations' thing on FaceBook.

Correction
05-29-2009, 08:10 PM
none of these are funny all of you go die

Woosah
05-29-2009, 08:11 PM
sweet man

BenX02
05-29-2009, 08:13 PM
none of these are funny all of you go die

But... but, the one about the fat kid!... You have no soul if you don't think that's funny. :evil:

oathfbass
05-29-2009, 09:45 PM
Are these real? Because if so, I'm going to stick like half of them in my 'favorite quotations' thing on FaceBook.

I wish man, but i'll pretend like they are to my friends ;)

oathfbass
05-29-2009, 09:45 PM
none of these are funny all of you go die
Thom Yorke would like to have a word with you

Wanker
05-29-2009, 09:48 PM
pretentious wanker

hey thats me..

i liked the quotes by the way

Woosah
05-29-2009, 09:50 PM
sup man

Wanker
05-29-2009, 09:52 PM
chillin.. listening to Misophone.

Woosah
05-29-2009, 09:54 PM
cool stuff

horseypie
05-29-2009, 10:13 PM
this was the only good one

"I wear lampshades on my head and stand in people's living rooms. They're like 'Billy can you go turn on the light?' and I whisper 'you mean turn on the thom yorke' *chortle*" ~ Thom Yorke

Otherside
05-30-2009, 02:18 AM
One of the interesting things here is that the people who should be shaping the future are politicians. But the political framework itself is so dead and closed that people look to other sources, like artists, because art and music allow people a certain freedom. -Thom Yorke

cbmartinez
05-30-2009, 02:21 AM
"I'm a creep"

cbmartinez
05-30-2009, 02:21 AM
"everything. everything, everything in its right place"

Titan50
05-30-2009, 03:17 AM
lol

StreetlightRock
05-30-2009, 03:59 AM
"If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

this made me lol

CkCk
05-30-2009, 04:09 AM
"I love listening to music with my mate. We don't do it often, but when we do we'll just sit there and lose our heads in it. Sooner or later he'll start saying something to the effect of "Hey, Thom, can you put in something else now?" but I'll just nod coldly and respond "not just yet". But after awhile, I'll finally budge. And that's when I crack a big smile and take out The Bends and put in Kid A. My friend just sighs and leaves the room, and I can't blame him. He's not ready for that leap yet." - Thom Yorke

only one i smiled at

Iai
05-30-2009, 04:31 AM
One of the interesting things here is that the people who should be shaping the future are politicians. But the political framework itself is so dead and closed that people look to other sources, like artists, because art and music allow people a certain freedom. -Thom Yorke
funniest one tbh

Iai
05-30-2009, 04:32 AM
'My life sucks - I go to work and have to live up to Thom Yorke, then go home and have to live up to Brad Pitt' - Chris Martin

Mikedrummer
05-30-2009, 04:59 AM
Half them are kinda funny. Couple are lulz

cobert
05-30-2009, 12:59 PM
"The only thing worse than Radiohead fans is everything else except me" ~ Thom Yorke

Genuinely loled at this.

FattyKnee
05-30-2009, 01:01 PM
'My life sucks - I go to work and have to live up to Thom Yorke, then go home and have to live up to Brad Pitt' - Chris Martin

haha. this is good

NortherlyNanook
05-30-2009, 03:31 PM
Sometimes I stand in store windows and pretend to be a mannequin. People are like 'hey, that mannequin looks alot like thom yorke' Then I start to sing The Gloaming and lurch toward them and they run off horrified.

the visual makes this one

EightMilesHigh
05-30-2009, 07:13 PM
it's funny because thom is pale/skinny enough to be a mannequin/zombie

kitsch
06-04-2009, 08:54 AM
"If I were to be any celebrity, I'd be Chris Martin. I've always wondered what it would be like to be jealous of Thom Yorke." ~ Thom Yorke

this made me lol

that was my fav as well.

oathfbass
06-06-2009, 10:58 PM
"I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke" ~ Thom Yorke

CelestialDust
06-12-2009, 07:14 PM
"Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey"

lmao so random

CelestialDust
06-12-2009, 07:55 PM
some of these just made my day, especially that gloaming one

VicariousIntent
06-13-2009, 11:15 AM
I think I actually remember a few that I really liked.

"You will never make friends unless you like everyone genuinely. Oh well, I'm ****ed then aren't I?"

"I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four"


"We had a great time doing Airbag. There was a party going on for like three days in a row. By the end of it the studio was just a ****ing pit of all sorts of disgusting things -- half-finished bottles of wine and beer spilled on the desk and ashtrays everywhere. It was great. We do play cards and bridge and **** like everybody says we do all the time. But then, we go smoke crack in the bathroom afterwards."

"I feel tremendous guilt for any sexual feelings I have. So I end up spending my entire life feeling sorry for fancying somebody. Even in school I thought girls were so wonderful that I was scared to death of them. I masturbate a lot. That's how I deal with it."

"It's easy to be miserable. Being happy is tougher - and cooler." <--- Favorite

oathfbass
10-11-2009, 10:13 PM
it's been linked

exredhouseresident
10-17-2009, 04:37 AM
This is so great. Thom Yorke> Chuck whateverris.

YDload
10-18-2009, 12:46 AM
i liked some of them. kudos, mr. thyorke.

Tillius
10-25-2009, 06:03 PM
"I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke" ~ Thom Yorke

This is the best.

Faggor
11-05-2009, 03:36 PM
hahaha i lol'd at the one where he's listening to music with his friend

Krushin
11-20-2009, 12:36 PM
This list is full of win. Reminds me of the Chuck Norris stuff.