The Undertow

[lindy]

This song is about my father, my friend collabarated on it with me, his parts are in italics. It was written for my band (myspace.com/mcmkfl)


i am the current against currents, the path beyond direction.
i pulled you out to a company of men at their graves,
and watched you get lost in the waves.

how long will you tread this water?
when you can just walk on it,
and make your way back to shore.
oh my son, make your way back to shore.

we were born on a sinking ship,
we were built with drowning hearts.

come you brothers! keep singing, keep singing now.
if you grow quiet the clouds won't wait to take your place.
if you lose your voice the rocks will take up your song

you were beloved, but you lost your way.

circle! your weary heart and soul,
is a feast for crows.
i am the undertow.


Thanks for reading!

[Naked]

No one has replied to this?
This is one of the better songs on these barren forums...
I love the imagery, especially in the verse

come you brothers! keep singing, keep singing now.
if you grow quiet the clouds won't wait to take your place.
if you lose your voice the rocks will take up your song

The abstract aspect really grabs me, and it flows very well.

[kitsch]

This song is about my father, my friend collabarated on it with me, his parts are in italics. It was written for my band (myspace.com/mcmkfl)

but theres no italics...

[Naked]

but theres no italics...

Look down, last edited by lindy.
Although I don't know how that fits with the song though... you should probably take it out.

[lindy]

Thanks for the feedback guys! I added in the italics as well, haha.