good ideas

[alain]

Good Ideas

When you were my deepest thought
Days had other smell
Your love burnt my skin so slowly
But now my heart is a frozen sea

The good ideas have gone
The fine dreams have got lost
I wouldn’t like to love you again
It hasn’t been a pleasant day

I am so immature
I actually feel sad
My life isn’t well
I don’t feel so good today

The good ideas have gone
The fine dreams have got lost
I wouldn’t like to love you again
It hasn’t been a pleasant day

I’ve seen enough
Love has its time
As scientists state
I will try to put my life away

The good ideas have gone
The fine dreams have got lost
I would love you hug my soul for the last time
It hasn’t been a pleasant day

Written by alain

[Mikedrummer]

first few verses are better, a little more imagery in em, try and incorporate that into the last few

[kitsch]

When you were my deepest thought
Days had other smell
Your love burnt my skin so slowly
But now my heart is a frozen sea

prob the best 4 lines youve posted.

[jimmysuffolk]

prob the best 4 lines youve posted.

I'm new here so don't know of anyone's pervious stuff, but I agree, I like the song as a whole but the first 4 lines really stick out

[cyanidebreathmint01]

One thing that always catches me is, when I write a song, I never know when to stop. So, I have developed a new technique. And that is to take a song that I have written and cut an entire verse and chorus out of it. Or, take two verses and then combine them. In my experience the best lyrics always have an excellent economy of words. I feel like there is too much fluff here. Everyones right though dont touch the first verse.

[shelly_c_67]

Hey I am Shelly. I own a website called candy-this. It is a graphics site where you can get myspace layouts and things like that. But recently I decided that my site should have some contests. So as my first idea, I decided to do a music contest. It isn't anything big. The prize isn't like a ticket to some awesome place. For a prize the winner gets a blow up guitar autographed by the site and free advertisement as song of the month or something like that. So if you are interested then please post that you are interested on this thread so I can get a greneral idea of how many people want in on the contest. The contest page will be up between May1 - May10. So it will be up any time between then. Keep checking at

candy-this 2ya com

add the dots

p.s. your lyrics seem awesome to enter

[lindy]

Agree with everyone about the first four lines. Great work. The rest of the piece doesn't have much flow though, and I don't really like the third stanza. Good work though!