beach haiku #'s 1, 2, & 3

[kitsch]

more to come.


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#1
Eons of waves curl and smooth upon
millenia old sand
lined with miles of condominiums

#2
A flock of seagulls
swirl and flutter
around a man
with a sack
of table scraps

#3
white froth
angry
in the wind

[Pop music sucks]

I like the 1 and 2 the most. 3 to me, is just too obscure, at this moment.

1: The contrasts between natural and artificial landscapes are stark. The unfettered and uninhibited sea dances upon the beach while the imposing buildings stare at their eroding beach shores in the hopes to artificially rebuild that very same beach.

2: This one was a littler harder to discern, but still as satsifying. We're shown a lonely man reaching out to other creatures. He tells himself that he's needed because he rationalizes that no one else probably feeds the seagulls.

3: Could this be an introspective piece inspired by sitting upon the shores? A sort of augmentive feeling could arise from a lapping surf biting into the wind.

[Mikedrummer]

Imagery is pretty sweet in all 3, especially #3, because it makes me picture endless scenarios, i.e the froth of the sea at a beach with a strong wind, or the froth of someone going insane standing somewhere, etc. Ok i'm probably reading too much into it, but you get what I mean.

Hey Kitsch, I put one up a few days ago called stems and leaves, would like to hear your opinion, it's damn hard to get crit on this forum these days and I think us people who actually post relatively consistently should stick together :thumb:

[kitsch]

thanks.

i meant the third one to be as ambiguous as possible. im glad you caught the dual nature to it mike

pop music, i like how you explain the meaning of all the pieces on here eloquently. your interpretation of 2 was different than mine, but i like it pretty much the same.

[Pop music sucks]

That's the wonder of pieces like these, everyone subliminally interjects their own feelings:)

On second thought, after re-reading #3, it's as wide and expansive as you make of the feelings implied, and many things come forth when the environment you're in seethes anger. Also, I was very tired when I first read it. I'm trying to fix my circadian rhythm into the time zone I actually reside in. I've been on a rhythm that's 12 hours ahead (or behind) of where I'm at.

[Lufnoops]

Eons of waves curl and smooth upon
millenia old sand
lined with miles of condominiums



insteadof condominiums, i thought this said condiments and i lold cuz i thought of trash beach

[Urethra Franklin]

2: This one was a littler harder to discern, but still as satsifying. We're shown a lonely man reaching out to other creatures. He tells himself that he's needed because he rationalizes that no one else probably feeds the seagulls.

I saw it as the seagulls are blind followers who will listen and do anything that this man tells them. The table scraps is the attention he gives them, and they eat it up.

[TojesDolan]

1 and 3 for me mostly

2 is cute

but i like the cryptic vibe of 3 and the idea of 1