Social Anxiety

[JohnXDoe]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.

I know a lot of teens and young(er) people post here and certainly many of you have faced this challenge. How did you overcome it?

I'm getting desperate tbh :(

[Interstate]

Alcohol usually does the trick for me when I'm in a large social gathering with some people I don't know.

Failing that I'm sure there are courses/classes you can go to that help you overcome your shyness.

[bradc1988]

I just avoid people.

[(*The Noonward Race*)]

When I ever get socially anxious I just take a power nap then I BRING THE SOCIAL TO THE ANXIETY BOI

[Crapdragoon]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.

I know a lot of teens and young(er) people post here and certainly many of you have faced this challenge. How did you overcome it?

I'm getting desperate tbh :(


man if im in a crowd i get loud as **** and bring out the funnies, some people got it ,and some just don't man. don't sweat it.

[wartomods]

i have the secret to overcome it but the thing is i cant tell you because next time we find ourselves together in a big crowd you will outshine me.

[StreetlightRock]

Do drama classes.

seriously.

[Meatplow]

i get huge social anxieties unless i'm just with a few people, I know how you feel jxd.

i don't go to parties anymore or even out to the clubs like I used to a couple of years back, sort of lost touch with a lot of my friends. whenever i occasionally end up at a party these days its usually a work party where i'm high as a kite or drunk and have difficulty entering conversations with people talking about uni or something i'm simply not a part of. I find I usually just have to find people with common interests to me and I open up a bit, more times then not this doesn't happen though lol.

[guitarded_chuck]

meatplow: I find I'm super nervous and anxious in large groups when I'm high. Mad paranoia. I only smoke when I'm with my friends now because I'm not nervous around them ever. Try drinking instead.

A drunk man thinks he is king of the world and is scared of no one and nothing!

[kitsch]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.

I know a lot of teens and young(er) people post here and certainly many of you have faced this challenge. How did you overcome it?

I'm getting desperate tbh :(

i used to have this problem a lot more than i do now, especially around new people. for me, once the social setting becomes familiar (me being there and experiencing it about 3 times) it gets really easy to talk and be myself. over the past few months ive been channelling that feeling of confidence in other social situations. i dunno, its just about being comfortable, i suppose.

[JayLinkisBanned]

I am an attention whore and an extreme extrovert. I am the life of the party and I prefer to have all eyes on me. Not everyone is wired that way, so it would be better to seek out a smaller select group of people you are comfortable with first,and then try to conquer larger crowds later.

[viciouscycle]

I have different outlooks and views than most people so that kind of hinders the conversation.

Honestly why people haven't figured out that asking people why they're quiet does **** all? Try just talking to them and making them confortable

same thing with asking someone if they're mad

are you mad?

you can tell me

are you

HEY ARE YOU MAD

by this time you're right pissed

[Mr. Ron]

Just don't take the situation seriously.

[FattyKnee]

be light hearted and try to engage in conversation.
if that doesn't work, get drunk and the words will start flowin

[Already_Taken]

sounds like you're overly self-conscious, not shy. grow some balls

[iliketoplaydrums10111]

have the '**** you' attitude

[Already_Taken]

yeah that's pretty much what i wanted to say, you just gotta not give a **** about anyone else's opinions and love yourself.

[Fuqueue]

yeah that's pretty much what i wanted to say, you just gotta not give a **** about anyone else's opinions and love yourself.

Well, not really. That just makes you arrogant. That whole 'be your own best friend' thing is just a self-help manifested marketing ploy designed to get you to buy more ****, in reality.

Self-respect is another thing though. Whether they know it or not, people are very receptive to subtle cues, in fact they probably pay more attention to how you say something rather than what you're actually saying. The key is just to be comfortable with yourself. If you believe that you know what you're talking about, then other people will too.

As for those bimbos who are like "why don't you talk?", just ignore them. They're airheads who don't understand how inane conversation really is.

[hismajestythepope]

Yeah, anxiety blows.

I was at a party, and this biddy wanted to give me her number and I was like, "Derp I don't have a cell phone," didn't even like write it down.

She was mad cute too. :<

PHAIL.

[adb]

hahahahaha

[Fuqueue]

That's nothing..

One time a girl asked me if I wanted to have my shower with her.. I thought she meant in seperate showers :(

[Permanent Solution]

be comfortable with yourself

if you are comfortable with yourself, who cares what anyone else thinks of you?

if you don't care what anyone else thinks, it's easier to meet, people, no fear of judgment

[hismajestythepope]

Whoa, dropping knowledge.

[Fuqueue]

Excuse you.

[GorgeousGabe]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.

I know a lot of teens and young(er) people post here and certainly many of you have faced this challenge. How did you overcome it?

I'm getting desperate tbh :(

Here's the dilimna. OK. You are (maybe?) afraid that whatever you might say will be deemed 'unacceptable' or you'll be judged for it or whatever. Catch 22- by saying nothing, you end up the 'weird quiet guy'

Really what the problem is, is that you judge yourself. Try to meditate with no distractions, no music, no tv, nothing, for 15 minutes. Sit alone with nothing but your thoughts. Understand WHO YOU ARE on the inside without any.. without any of the bullshit of social living or of the modern world, you know?

It's important to love yourself. When you love yourself, it's unnecessary to worry about what other people are going to think of you. And the weird thing is that, when you don't worry about it, you're free to just act naturally and that's what people admire most (besides being rich)

[Alf™]

horrible advice for the most part itt

better off googling and reading some other advice

[Fuqueue]

Yeah.. ya big gallah.

[viciouscycle]

I approve of Gabe's answer

[gingerfish]

Alcohol usually does the trick for me when I'm in a large social gathering with some people I don't know.

Failing that I'm sure there are courses/classes you can go to that help you overcome your shyness.

bad idea. i make myself lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGpnmz1f1F4

[GorgeousGabe]

wait... a class to overcome shyness? I can't think of anywhere I've felt more shy than in class @_@

if I didn't know better I would say that maybe people try to con people out of their money by offering false salvation for a very common problem that many people look to others to provide the solution for, when in reality the solution can really only come from yourself

kudos if a class can help on that but I wouldn't really trust such a thing

[viciouscycle]

that kid loves the devil horns

[Fuqueue]

Yeah putting people through classes to help them with their mental problems is a pretty flawed concept. The whole clinical feeling of it, the idea of being 'treated' like that, can just make people feel more disillusioned.

[GorgeousGabe]

It's not really a problem tbh it is completely understandable. I mean human beings are social creatures by nature, but... not in the sense of, like, dealing with random ****ing people and having to talk about random ****ing **** just to 'impress' people enough so that they will even attempt to maybe try to understand you, on a daily basis, well... to expect to be equipped for that can be a tall order

[Fuqueue]

You do tend to notice that the more somebody speaks, the more they are filled with ****.

[gingerfish]

that kid loves the devil horns

my hands were stuck like that the whole night

[Fuqueue]

that kid loves the devil horns

The sign of the cow, actually.

[Already_Taken]

Well, not really. That just makes you arrogant. That whole 'be your own best friend' thing is just a self-help manifested marketing ploy designed to get you to buy more ****, in reality.

Self-respect is another thing though. Whether they know it or not, people are very receptive to subtle cues, in fact they probably pay more attention to how you say something rather than what you're actually saying. The key is just to be comfortable with yourself. If you believe that you know what you're talking about, then other people will too.

As for those bimbos who are like "why don't you talk?", just ignore them. They're airheads who don't understand how inane conversation really is.

okay but given that jxd is obviously a pretty reserved guy, he's never gonna be arrogant. so him carrying this attitude would likely be seen as confident and comfortable.

[Fuqueue]

okay but given that jxd is obviously a pretty reserved guy, he's never gonna be arrogant. so him carrying this attitude would likely be seen as confident and comfortable.

Quietness can often be percieved as arrogance though. Some people assume that you think you're above their conversations.

[Already_Taken]

thats a ****ing moronic viewpoint.

(lol)

[Fuqueue]

Are you surprised?

[Already_Taken]

jxd is obviously a reserved guy, so for him to accept the attitude of "i dont give a ****" would be perceived as comfortable and hardly arrogant as someone so insecure could hardly be seen as arrogant unless he seriously overcompensates.

[Fuqueue]

No offence, but I don't think you really know what you're talking about.

[Already_Taken]

yeah i'm not alive or anything.

btw, learn to spell

[McP3000]

lol you're such a tool

Social Anxiety is a type of social interaction disorder that is often linked to chemical imbalances of serotonin.

[Already_Taken]

oh well that's pretty dumb to ask for advice about something you can't fix then. take it up with jxd

[McP3000]

if his problem is extremely serious, as in leading to anxiety attacks and social awkwardness that leads to trauma then he should see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

however, if he's just really shy then he needs to grow a pair. There's a large difference between social anxiety disorder and being particularly shy

[Already_Taken]

sounds like you're overly self-conscious, not shy. grow some balls

hey look you're just as much a tool as i am :wave:

[Zakath]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.
Do you st-st-stutter?

[Already_Taken]

cause if you do, you can use that to make people laugh and like you is what he's saying

[GorgeousGabe]

thats a ****ing moronic viewpoint.

(lol)

It's actually not. Quietness CAN be perceived as arrogance. You've never heard people say **** like that about someone who's quiet?

[Already_Taken]

i think people who assume things about other people are shitheads thus i avoid them all together

[guitarded_chuck]

Everyone naturally makes assumptions about people. However everyone should realize that they do this and not make too much of an opinion about anyone until they've truly gotten to know them.

And yea, quiet people are sometimes wrongly thought of as being ignorant and conceited.

[hismajestythepope]

Example; my buddy Shane used to hate my buddy Patty for f-ing his girlfriend, but at the time Patty didn't know who Shane was, or that the girl had a boyfriend.

[guitarded_chuck]

wut lol

[Fuqueue]

I believe he is demonstrating the concept of 'ignorance'.

[hismajestythepope]

Shane assumed Patty was a douchebag and hated him without ever meeting him, all because his girlfriend ended up being a slut.

[Fuqueue]

And conceitedness.

[(*The Noonward Race*)]

whos patty

[(*The Noonward Race*)]

do we have nudes yet?? or is there a release date?? or??

[Fuqueue]

Curiousity.

[viciouscycle]

You blame the slutty girl in those situations

[Jonny]

I am the same. And when you don't talk much, people tend to not bother with you.

[Reaganista]

Do drama classes.

seriously.

bs i ddi drama it didnt help at all getting on stage in front of 500 ppl and dancin is like apples and oraganes compared 2 tryin to carry on a conversatoin wit 1 person

Well, not really. That just makes you arrogant. That whole 'be your own best friend' thing is just a self-help manifested marketing ploy designed to get you to buy more ****, in reality.

Self-respect is another thing though. Whether they know it or not, people are very receptive to subtle cues, in fact they probably pay more attention to how you say something rather than what you're actually saying. The key is just to be comfortable with yourself. If you believe that you know what you're talking about, then other people will too.

As for those bimbos who are like "why don't you talk?", just ignore them. They're airheads who don't understand how inane conversation really is.
ya evaen tho fuqueuereu is a moran he right about this im arrognat as all hell that doesnt help me like bond with ppl or nothin its actualy a impeidment cuz i can barely listen to the stupid **** they have 2 say let alone talk abou ti t

[Gattsu347]

Bring up interesting topics like sex, space, and peanut butter.

[Reaganista]

gattsu **** off go rite some anime fanfic w/e

[Gattsu347]

i'll **** you off little boy. grab those ankles

[Reaganista]

that's hot can i paly mario while u **** me

[Gattsu347]

you can TRY. Call me bowzer

[Reaganista]

omg that is so hot

[Mr. Ron]

</3

[Gattsu347]

ok im finished here.

unless Rons hungry too

[GorgeousGabe]

If you have social anxiety, thennnn just... y'know. kill everyone you know

[viciouscycle]

lol reaganista drunk much

atta boy

[huxtaposition]

"Everybody's shaking in his boots, so don't be bluffed." vonnegut

its all in your head jxd man just relax you dont have to be obnoxious and lame to be outspoken

[Nosferatu]

A drunk man thinks he is king of the world and is scared of no one and nothing!

so true.

I have different outlooks and views than most people so that kind of hinders the conversation.

Honestly why people haven't figured out that asking people why they're quiet does **** all? Try just talking to them and making them confortable

same thing with asking someone if they're mad

are you mad?

you can tell me

are you

HEY ARE YOU MAD

by this time you're right pissed


also very true.

[Spiritofmosa]

I'm 28 years old ffs, work for a living, and I believe I have social anxiety. I have some friends, but in large groups I find myself unable to speak up. People who don't know me ask me why I'm so quiet, and I still don't have an answer for them, except that I'm kinda shy. Which sounds pretty lame coming from a grown man. Does anyone have any tips to conquering shyness.

I know a lot of teens and young(er) people post here and certainly many of you have faced this challenge. How did you overcome it?

I'm getting desperate tbh :(


i'm like you. I can have conversations with a friend or two but when i'm in a group of 4 or more i tend to be quiet. Even at the dinner table.

[4yearpro?]

nothing brings u more confidence than a popped collar

[Nadinus]

One way is to be less self-centred. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but if you stop thinking that people care too much about what you say or do then it can help take away the anxiety before speaking/acting. You're just one person in one situation of many. If you mess up, what's the worst that can happen? There are very few situations in which you have a limited amount of time to make a positive impression.

Also, I know this is megamegamega cliché but you have to remember that there is little fundamental difference between you and a confident person. If you try to analyse yourself too much and work out why you're not confident then that automatically is a barrier against it - you'll just reinforce to yourself that there is a reason why you can't be like them and it'll just become a vicious circle.

But if you see it like, they are different simply because they act different and that's the way they have chosen to be, then you can just as easily choose to be that way.

I dunno if that makes sense, it helped for me to think like that :\

[malaise]

I think I may have suffered from some social anxiety at one point, but mainly generalized anxiety. I started taking anti-depressants and now I'm all good.

take some pills

[Pastorius]

i'm the opposite, one on one i get awkward, but in a big group i've been told i'm like a stand up comedian

with a huge wang

[Wickerton]

with a huge wang

http://images.drive.com.au/drive_images/Editorial/2007/11/01/01Pinky_m_m.jpg

[Pastorius]

they're counting how many orgasms i give them per minute

btw no-one has told me i'm like a stand up comedian, and gabe is a douche

[Spiritofmosa]

I think I may have suffered from some social anxiety at one point, but mainly generalized anxiety. I started taking anti-depressants and now I'm all good.

take some pills

you know i used to have this desire to depend on pills to make me feel good about myself. Same thing as drinking alcohol to lessen your over self-consciousness; or maybe not so same(pills have side effects). Ive never taken pills, but i've seen a doctor and he told me once that he cannot just prescribe pills to me because of the side effects. I was disappointed but now i'm glad i hadn't taken any pills, because i think its just wrong.
Doctors giving out pills to people just to change the chemical reactions in their brains, so that they can carry out a healthy conversation in a group. And when they suffer side effects later on, its kinda sad. People depending on pills to take away their shyness.

[Wickerton]

if you have depression because of a chemical imbalance you should take pills

if you have situational or existential depression you shouldnt

[Simon Cowell]

everyone should stop taking pills and instead take some DEALWITHIT. life sucks. deal with it. things are stressful. DEALWITHIT. retarded doctors have made it so more people have mental disorders than dont. kind of defeats the whole purpose of it being a disorder no?

[DENEpants]

i'm the opposite, one on one i get awkward, but in a big group i've been told i'm like a stand up comedian

with a huge wang

same. but without the wang.

[dankhead]

you just gotta keep a smile if you act like your nervous and keep a straight face the whole time nobody will even notice you or acknowledge you just laugh at whats bein talked about even if its not funny and just make yourself talk. ive finally gotten over a lot of my social anxiety and im not still completely over it, but im doing better than i was when i was relying on pills to make me better.