Ode to a Pondering Swan

[lwatkins]

Ode to a Pondering Swan


Sex, Coffee, and Conversation,
My mind figured – to my elation,
Action, chitty chat,
And an a-hundred foot flat,
Separated me from you,

Talk as small as my ego,
Every answer is “I believe so”.
We flounder around each other,
Like daughter and mother,
That dam between me and you,

Ode to a pondering swan,
I need to spread my wings,
I just cannot help,
Getting caught up in things,

Ode to a pondering swan,
I need to spread my wings,
I just cannot help,
Getting caught up in things,

You make my life an un-mess,
You make me seem un-unrespectable,
I now feel un-unpopular,
Just another step un-backwards,
And we’re there.

There there swan,
She’s not the only one,
There’s another chance,
If you sing and dance,
But you’ll never have the balls.

[kitsch]

Sex, Coffee, and Conversation,
My mind figured – to my elation,
Action, chitty chat,
And an a-hundred foot flat,
Separated me from you,

Talk as small as my ego,
Every answer is “I believe so”.
We flounder around each other,
Like daughter and mother,
That dam between me and you,

this is a solid start
you convey the situation cleverly
just one question
why is it sex coffee and conversation?
sex seems out of place

oh and i think that you should replace daughter and mother with sister and brother


Ode to a pondering swan,
I need to spread my wings,
I just cannot help,
Getting caught up in things,

this is cool, really catchy


You make my life an un-mess,
You make me seem un-unrespectable,
I now feel un-unpopular,
Just another step un-backwards,
And we’re there.

There there swan,
She’s not the only one,
There’s another chance,
If you sing and dance,
But you’ll never have the balls.

uhh wtf
the last two caught me totally off guard
did you just give up?


take a look at patient outreach, plz
its one of the few that i have that i will seriously consider revising the ending if someone has a good suggestion.

[lwatkins]

cheers mate
i didnt want it to be a typical eniding - just like his life

will do aswell...

oh and sex coffee and conversation is something that dylan moran says happens only in cities

[TKF]

Really good beginning man.