tired (rough)

[kitsch]

for the vocal delivery, think allen ginsberg meets anticon

I am tired
like the concrete sidewalk
crumbled and cracked
from the daily grind
of dirt and grime
the grit stays on the souls of my feet
like the sand caught between my teeth
and on the steel table sits a cup of cold coffee
swished around and set back down
used up and forgotten after somebody bought me
take a drink to wash out the taste
of countless days left gone to waste

I am tired
like a line of verse
a broken choppy one that doesn't have very many words
left like a starving kitten on a doorstep
mewling like the thousand poor souls
in the industrial strip pit
worn and deluded in the wake of facts
still able to breathe cause their heads below the smoke stacks

I am tired
for your love
your broken cavalier love
your desperate lonely dove
your escaping eloping ecstacy
where in this sagging bed you lied with me
now i am too tired to cry for thee

[lwatkins]

no-one needs to brutal about that

so much great imagery is conjoured, its brilliant

i know what you mean when you say that its un-polished, but, i like it like that. i think the roughness of its syntax makes it similar to its content.

i really like it mate. don't polish it. :)

[kitsch]

thanks

whenever i want to polish things, people say not to
and whenever i dont, people say i should

[lwatkins]

well its your decision at the end of the day.

i personally wouldnt polish it, but, you are of a much higher standard than me :D