The Way It Changed

[Riotboy316]

A broken heart is the best thing to write lyrics about. I totally agree with this statement because they have been pouring out of me. So take a look at this and give some feedback.

The Way it Changed

I miss the way you looked at me,
It's so bad I no longer want to be
Your voice haunts my thoughts and dreams
I'm so tired of these love schemes

I try to tell everyone I'm over you,
but they all know it's not true
I think about you everyday
But I don't have the guts to say
I still love you

when i see you smile,
it still warms my heart
but now it tears me apart
I wish I could just go away
for a while

the times we shared will never be back
the thought blows me off my life track
I feel like an empty shell
that's the way it changed.

[Riotboy316]

none?

[Riotboy316]

=o!

[Surf]

this might well sound harsh

but there's not a single original element to the song

you've just taken some old ideas about broken hearts and stuff and rearranged it around a fixed, forced rhyme scheme.

this isn't really a crit because there's no real sentiment in this thing to actually crit.

read through the s&l guide. look into things like metaphors and imagery. and don't feel the need to rhyme everything.

[Pastor of Muppets]

Forced rhymes. I feel like a metronome is talking to me.