Competition: The Best Negative Review (24 Hours Left)

[DFelon204409]

A tendency at a community-based reviewing site is to have high average rankings. People get more excited about putting time into writing about and sharing music that they love rather than music that they hate. You do it, the staff does it, we all do it. So in an effort to expand the site's negative reviews thus loweing our inflated average (no thanks to Opeth fans), I'm running a competition. The idea is to write the best review about an album rated 2 or below.

However there are some catches. When people write album reviews for terrible albums, it's easy to just hand wave at why the album is bad. Reviewing an album by Prussian Blue or Randy the Macho Man Savage is a little absurd and it's easy to trapped into explaining oneself for half a paragraph and then just writing two and a half more paragraphs about how much it sucks without giving real reasons. Sure, it can be entertaining for people to just rip on albums, but it'd be nice to see some really good reviews. I hope this takes off. Rules are below.

Deadline: July 19
Rules:
•Submit a review for an album you rank 2 or below and post the link and the album name and artist name in here and I'll compile a list of accepted reviews.
•No "joke" albums (i.e. DRACULACORE's spul nation or even Shaq's albums). The point is to explain why you don't like an album that other people might authentically like, instead of gimmicky or hokey albums.
•Negative reviews of Appetite For Destruction are strictly prohibited.
Recommendations:
•Be concise, but have at least 2-3 strong paragraphs (that doesn't count introductory journalistic paragraphs).
•Include good musical or lyrical examples.
•Show some degree of knowledge of music theory, musicology, or real literary analysis (for the lyrics), implicitly if possible (as in don't just say "The chord progression is just I-V-I-I-V over and over" but let the reader know you've given it an educated listen, enough to "know that the chord progressions are stale and repetitive").
•Don't just bash the album. Qualify your own negative opinion at some point. You don't need to "find the good in the album" but give it a fair analysis/critique.
Prizes:
•A large and/or animated avatar
•Mad rep
•I'll read other reviews and if you have 5 other well-written reviews, you will automatically be given contributing reviewer status and I'll recommend you for possible staff review status (this obviously is pending on mx and the staffer's decision). Sorry this is so vague but I'm running this competition independent of the staff so there's no promise you'll be a shoe-in for staff or something. If anything you'll be on our radar.

Good luck!

Accepted Reviews:
•ilikemusicthatsucks - PTH - Fortress - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26177
•Smileyface - G-Unit - Terminate on Sight - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26183
•pianotuna - AJH - Como te Llama? - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26179
•WillieFisterbut - Paradise Lost - Lost Paradise - http://sputnikmusic.com/review_26176
•rasputin - Batalion d'Amor - Niya - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26237
•Iaminsect - Dream Theater - Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26263
•PoetandthePendulum - Cryptopsy - None So Vile - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26257
•MinustheFlair - Sigur Ros - poop attack - http://sputnikmusic.com/review_26269
•Davey Boy - Thursday – Waiting http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26268 - My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26159
•taylormemer - Journey - Trial by Fire - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26295
•SpinLightTwo - Hit The Lights - Skip School, Start Fights - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26321

[iarescientists]

Zebra will win this.

i may give this a shot but i don't know if i feel passionate enough against a well-liked album to do this or if my writing chops are good enough.

plus rep was disabled so you may want to remove that from the prizes unless you're talking about straight-up respect from you which is a very valuable prize!

[DFelon204409]

Well it's implied that staff can't win the prizes since they're already entitled to the prizes, but yes they could get "best negative review." No matter what a regular user will get mad nice stuff.

Also, it's doesn't have to be a well-liked album. The point is not to be a contrarian but to support an opinion. If you think about it, there has to be somebody in the world who actually thinks From Autumn to Ashes has put out a good album. Defy that but not to defy it but because that's how you authentically feel. This is NOT Iluvatar's CTTS review on the account ggcaptainplanet.

[cometuesday]

sounds cool i want.

[Iluvatar]

That review on ggcaptplanet was the best

[Dave de Sylvia]

Now now Iluvatar you know it is not kosher to be less than 100% serious on the internet.

[Iluvatar]

We have a mathematics major on our hands I see!

[Dave de Sylvia]

http://blog.kevinmeltzer.com/archives/pi.png

[McP3000]

mad rep to both iluvatar and spat out sexy men

well imaginary rep

[DFelon204409]

sounds cool i want.

THen do it!!!

[Serpento]

Gahh, this is tempting. maybe I can finally voice how I feel about TotBL.

[Kirgasm]

Isn't the point of this to write your own review rather than to nominate someone elses?

I've been meaning to start reviewing again, so I'll be entering.

[Neoteric]

I'll see if I can try fit a review like this in.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

might do this

[Iai]

But back to business, I nominate Nick Butler's Converge No Heroes review.

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=10498
lol

[taylormemer]

Off topic. Iai, that rabbit looks suspiciously like mine...

On topic. Sounds like, fun. I may do this, not sure.

[DFelon204409]

Let me clarify. You may not post someone else's review and you must write the review between now and July 19. Don't just post that one random negative review you wrote. The whole point is to add good negative reviews to the database.

[Smileyface]

My bad, I will try for the competition.

[cometuesday]

i was wondering... if we end up doing more than one negative review between now and the 19th, will they both be considered or will we have to choose one to submit?

[DFelon204409]

i was wondering... if we end up doing more than one negative review between now and the 19th, will they both be considered or will we have to choose one to submit?

Well, it's one submission per person, but that really just means I'm going to only be counting you best review. So ya I'll read both but it's not like you could get 1st and 2nd place or something (though there is only a grand prize I suppose). Submit both.

[Correction]

im not gonna do this

[Iluvatar]

yeah bro fight the system

[ilikemusicthatsucks]

I will do this, what the hell. Even though I'm not going to get staff hahaha.

[Kirgasm]

snowballs chance in hell i'll get staff either, i'm using this as motivation to start reviewing again.

[ilikemusicthatsucks]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26177

Protest the Hero

Fortress

*puts on kevlar jacket*

[IsItLuck?]

who the **** uses that asterisk ****, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

[Minus The Flair]

May try this, I need to write a negative review eventually.

[Smileyface]

I know ilikemusicthatsucks' review is much better than this, but include this in the competition.

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26183

[DFelon204409]

Thanks dude.

[pianotuna]

thought i might as well give this a go.

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26179

[DFelon204409]

pianotuna, while that review looks pretty good after a cursory glance, it's pretty scrubby that you artificially inflate your viewcount.

[FlawedPerfection]

I'm gonna do this once I find a shitty album to review.

[Iluvatar]

pianotuna, while that review looks pretty good after a cursory glance, it's pretty scrubby that you artificially inflate your viewcount.

Thats not really him, unless his IP has hit that page 50k+ times there are a ton of reviews with ridiculous view counts

[south_of_heaven 11]

I will follow this contest...very interesting, it is...

[DFelon204409]

Nice dude. By the way, started working out again. It has been rewarding so far. I've gotten a lot better at basketball and I still love one handed snatches. But that's off topic. Look forward to reading your review.

[south_of_heaven 11]

Nice dude. By the way, started working out again. It has been rewarding so far. I've gotten a lot better at basketball and I still love one handed snatches. But that's off topic. Look forward to reading your review.

Your love for Olympic lifts/variations never ceases to amaze me :lol:

10 bucks says I forget all about this and don't do it though...

[WillieFisterbut]

Paradise Lost -Lost Paradise - http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26176

[IsItLuck?]

this contest needs more reviews on albums that are overall rated well and less what can be considered a 'safe' album that is almost well-known to be bad

[beans]

i will give this a try :)

[DFelon204409]

this contest needs more reviews on albums that are overall rated well and less what can be considered a 'safe' album that is almost well-known to be bad

I definitely agree. ilikemusicthatsucks gets big cred for taking on a big dog with Protest the Hero.

[ilikemusicthatsucks]

Hey DFelon, I have an idea. Maybe it's stupid but I thought I'd throw it out there: since you can't guarantee anything with the whole "staff part" of the contest and like you said it's kind of vague, maybe attaining Contributing Reviewer status would be a good reward as well if you don't have it. And considering that most of us who have entered thus far don't have that yet, we'd probably all like that. :)

Just a thought.

[DFelon204409]

That's a good idea but I still have to get that passed by mx and the mods, so if they're down for it then ya sure.

[mx]

Sounds fair enough to me, provided that we get a large enough number of submissions.

[Crimson]

Would an album having a 4+ average rating (150+ votes) make a 2.5 review be deemed negative? or does it definitely have to be 2 or below?

i think I already know the answer, but just asking on the outside chance i might be able to get in a review i'm thinking of doing.

[Poet]

So I am going to review an album that will get me killed 20 times. I need to listen to the album a few more times, but from the first listen, it was bad.

[Iluvatar]

I think a 2.5 is generally a negative review, as usually not liking an album would justify a "negative" review

[Crimson]

yeah it's not about that, it definitely would be a negative review, just wanted to know if I could post a 2.5 review up for this competition.

[ilikemusicthatsucks]

Yeah kinda doubting he's going to make an exception for you at this point tbh.

[Crimson]

that's what I thought, just hopefully having a gander.

[rasputin]

oo this looks nice, I'm definitely going to have a shot. I can't decide which review to submit though :(

[rasputin]

ok here it is

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26237

[IAmInsect]

i think im gonna do it and i definately know which album :)

[Dave de Sylvia]

I have edited the rules marginally for clarity.

[rasputin]

•Negative reviews of Appetite For Destruction are strictly prohibited.
That was so unpredictable

[Dave de Sylvia]

you are sassy!

[Iluvatar]

med57 wins the competition

OH WAIT HE DOESNT QUALIFY

[Dies Irae]

med is god!!

[DFelon204409]

Would an album having a 4+ average rating (150+ votes) make a 2.5 review be deemed negative? or does it definitely have to be 2 or below?

i think I already know the answer, but just asking on the outside chance i might be able to get in a review i'm thinking of doing.

Has to be a two or below. Keep in mind everybody so far has submitted 2s. It's easier to write a good review and be positive rather than negative so obviously extra cred is going to go to people who can write a good 1 review and not a good 2 review. 2.5s though are 50-50 splits in terms of positive and negative and therefore don't count as negative reviews.

[IsItLuck?]

I love this competition. I'm looking forward to see if someone reviews an album that I know/like, but it's probably unlikely considering the reviews that have come out thus far with the exception of Protest the Hero, who are ehhhh.

[rasputin]

DFelon, just pointing out you spelt my name resputin on the original post.

[WillieFisterbut]

I love this competition. I'm looking forward to see if someone reviews an album that I know/like, but it's probably unlikely considering the reviews that have come out thus far with the exception of Protest the Hero, who are ehhhh.You've inspired me to go through your ratings to find something you like that I don't (preferably something that doesn't already have a low rating review).

[Minus The Flair]

So I am going to review an album that will get me killed 20 times. I need to listen to the album a few more times, but from the first listen, it was bad.

Yeah, I need to touch up my review a bit, probably post it tomorrow, but I'm expecting the same reception. I've listened to my record a lot now, expecting my reaction to change, and it doesn't. Just a warning, I hope you all hate Sigur Ros...

[IAmInsect]

I hope you all hate Sigur Ros...
chan does! well he doesn't like ( )

[IAmInsect]

i suppose i'll submit this yo.
Dream Theater - Metropolis Pt. 2: Scenes From a Memory
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26263

[DFelon204409]

DFelon, just pointing out you spelt my name resputin on the original post.

That don't matter one bit.

[rasputin]

Not at all :)

[Minus The Flair]

http://sputnikmusic.com/review_26269

[DaveyBoy]

I didn't even know this contest existed & I had 2 such submissions within the alloted timeframe. I suppose the one listed first below qualifies more since hardly anyone had previously rated it below 2.5 (surprisingly):

Thursday – Waiting http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26268

My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26159

[taylormemer]

It's funny to see so many of these reviews submitted with reluctance. "I suppose I'll submit this, I guess I'll put this up," etc. If the review's good don't be afraid of the fanboys.
As for me, I'd love to submit what I have so far, but I am going to let it sit on me for another 5 days to make sure everything is a ok.

[IAmInsect]

i'd like mine to be disqualified plz. yeah i let this competition just be too big of an influence on my rating...it's an album i'd really rate a 3.5.

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26263

[Minus The Flair]

lol poop attack.

Just FYI, I won't be here from tomorrow until August 14th, so I won't be around when the results are announced.

[taylormemer]

Eh, decided to pull in early. Here's mine then.
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26295/

[IsItLuck?]

hey guys, so lemme know when someone is actually serious about this contest

[ilikemusicthatsucks]

I'm enjoying the contest, although a few people were lame and posted reviews they either later deleted or admitted they didn't actually stand by. Well, and a lotta people gave negative reviews to albums that everyone kind of knows sucks. Oh well, that's the point of the contest in a way. Negative reviews can be hard.

[Iai]

I submit these -

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?albumid=2935
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?albumid=769

[Iluvatar]

I thought you completely integrated Stem/Long Stem

[Iai]

Nah, got bored halfway through. Also I was bumping other staff reviews off the front page which was kinda unfair.

[Iluvatar]

ah well they dont count anyways so

[istaros]

It's funny to see so many of these reviews submitted with reluctance. "I suppose I'll submit this, I guess I'll put this up," etc. If the review's good don't be afraid of the fanboys.
As for me, I'd love to submit what I have so far, but I am going to let it sit on me for another 5 days to make sure everything is a ok.
no ****. GROW SOME BALLS, BOYS. i can't submit any review myself, except for maybe bauhaus. but i won't, because my hate for them is based largely on not liking simplistic crap, especially proto-gothic simplistic crap

[UmphreysHead]

no ****. GROW SOME BALLS, BOYS. i can't submit any review myself, except for maybe bauhaus. but i won't, because my hate for them is based largely on not liking simplistic crap, especially proto-gothic simplistic crap
lol you tell everyone to grow some balls then make an excuse about why you can't submit a review.

[DFelon204409]

Ya please more people submit. It'll be really really fun and helpful for the site.

[Iluvatar]

If more people did this right it would be pretty cool

[Channing]

i wil try to do one ok

[Iai]

everybody submit a 1.5 review for white pony

[Neoteric]

No way!

[SpinLightTwo]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26321

Hit The Lights - Skip School, Start Fights

[McP3000]

everybody submit a 1.5 review for white pony
I would if i could sit through that album...but i cant

[Iluvatar]

oh damn did you hear that nick greer

[IsItLuck?]

fight, fight, fight

[natey5280]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26281
Shai Hulud - Misanthropy Pure
Since you want reviews you may have this

[DFelon204409]

Hurry up people. Only 24 hours left.

[Channing]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?p=26353

showbread anorexia nervosa

[Hawks10Pec]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_26350

Satyricon - Rebel Extravaganza

[DFelon204409]

Ends when I get home tonight.

[SHOOTME]

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=26367

Is it too late to submit this?

[DFelon204409]

Nope.

[DFelon204409]

I'm about halfway through reading these. The results will be up tonight!