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hotpants_67
05-25-2008, 11:57 PM
this is a lyrical piece that my friend wrote.

Set the Tone
and let the floodgates give way
over crackling speakers
and through skeptic ears
you worry me
I don't know what to think

It's never so simple
Making excuses
excuses plenty
but none of it matters
I have to let it out
Pour my heart out

Everyday thought proves weak
brittle to it's meaning
try harder
Lay on the pressure
of something never to be forced
something I strived to have

It's never so simple
making excuses
excuses plenty
but none of it matters
I have to let it out
pour my heart out

make room for me
inside the glory of it all
and create art
out of random bursts


any questions and critique will be forwarded to him

hotpants_67
05-30-2008, 01:33 AM
please guys my friend needs advice.

please

HighandDriving
05-30-2008, 11:18 AM
pour my heart out just sounds lame.

make room for me
inside the glory of it all
and create art
out of random bursts

Poor flow.

The rest of it was decent.

TojesDolan
06-04-2008, 06:17 PM
Simple.