happy guitar pop - tired

[gazzareth]

This is a new song. Not particularly sure if I like it or not so for the moment it's going on my anonymous Myspace page haha. I'd really appreciate any critique...songwriting, production, tips etc.

Thanks in advance.

The song is called Tired. It's the only song I've uploaded:
www.myspace.com/quicksugar

[Alienbob]

one of my first thoughts was that the introduction was a little lengthy and i wasn't sure if this would be that good, but once the piano went full stereo and the vocals came in i was hooked. The verse melody is pretty solid and you've got a decent voice from what i could hear, though the the vocals seem kind of buried. Don't be afraid to push them out a little bit! I don't really like the parts with kind of weird chords on piano. Like after that first verse, i thought it would be great to go into that "du du du duu" part, but it kind of lagged with the piano part going inbetween. Lead guitar was a nice touch. Just seems like maybe the song could be developed more, but you're on the right track!

[Happy_Squirrel]

Wow, I really liked this. Simple, but elegant. You have a great ear for songcraft. I agree with bob that the song could be developed a bit more, it did seem to get a bit repetitive in a couple of places, but overall this is great.

Would you mind listening to my new one?

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=557172

[uwpro]

nice happy little track.
work on the vocals, they're a tad flat maybe use an autotune. generally tighten up the production of the vocals and it'd be good to go.

care to check out my new track?
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=557042