Critique my song

[charlesfishowitz]

dre day nigga

[charlesfishowitz]

anyone?

...im dying to know what you guys (and ladies) think.

you can even tell me that it sucks...it that's how you really feel.

[jasonresno]

Chronicles
Really cool downbeat mood and atmosphere. I like it alot more than I thought I would. Very minimalistic but very powerful. The vocals aren't bad at all and the effect makes them a bit more powerful. Really depressing and dreary but that was the targeted effect, and it was well done.

Living Hell is not listenable.

One Less has really cool and powerful guitars. They seem just soaked and played in complete emotion. I really like it. Very cool mood. I wish some vocals were present though.

Danielle and My Sweet Alaska could be cool, just need to be better recorded.

[dairyairman]

whew! man! that was a serious downer! it was depressing to the point of being disturbing, but i liked it. it's minimal, but very emotional. at first i was a little put off by the vocal effect, whatever that is, but i finally decided i liked it because it gave the song a slightly surreal effect. i could see adding heavier guitars and drums and alternating that with the quiet verses along the lines of thrice or brand new, but it's good as it is.

[jasonresno]

hey thanks for the input..it's greatly appreciated. im glad you liked chronicles..i wasnt really expecting a response like that. sort of just expecting a good, bad or meh.

yeah, danielle and alaska were both recored in one take basically. i was just trying to get some new stuff recorded.. but i will re-record them in the near future.

im just curious though as to why you didnt think living hell was listenable...was it because of the bass effect, the vocals, poorly written...or all of the above?

anyways, thanks again for the input.

peace
That was no insult or anything to "Living Hell" I just didn't dig how slow it was, that's all.

Very depressing and strong stuff.

[charlesfishowitz]

understandable that's cool...

and for the vocals i just harmonized and then added a slight delay...im still kind of "eh" on them.

[ROCKetship]

sounds very much like the band Arab Strap.

not necessarily a bad thing, but you definitly have to be in a certain mood to enjoy it.

[einzweiveirfunf]

Climax

Hmmm, i guess it is kinda like depressing, but also quite exciting in some ways, in the way it builds up. In fact, i love the beggining guitar riff, it's simple but very effective. Same with the next part, really like the ultra fuzzy guitar and simple, thumping bass line. Has a very good atmosphere. The two guitars go together really well. In fact, this is a really cleverlu put together song. Song ends really well. Very well put together song with a great moody guitar riff

Chronicles

Great opening guitar riff. Theres not much of a rhythm, the melody is so powerfull it sounds cool. Ahh, great vocals. Like the melody, (and lyrics it seems) very powerfull. In fact the way the vocals are delivered is ingenious, you can really hear how your mind is just by the way they are conveyed.

Living Hell

Cool gong type sound you got coming from your guitar there. Like the tuneless percussive sound a lot. Vocals work really well over it. Wow, i love the way you can build up such a vivid atmosphere with so little instruments.

One Less

Ahh great chord change. Really intense opening line. Really like the simple bass riff going on, holds the song together really well. Great instrumental. Like the way it fades out and comes back into a coda

My sweet alaska

Treble guitar sounds really cool. Cool, simple, but very effective guitar riff. Two guitars sound really good together. Cool song

Danielle

Talking over the fadding wall of noise and piano notes is very effective. Like the "deep" sound, so to put it, that this song has. The piano is very effective. Again, another good instrumental

So yeh, some really good stuff here, very clever and original

[charlesfishowitz]

wow...love your guys's input...it totally made my day.

if you guys have anything posted on here i would definitley like to check it out...so just send me a link and i'll give it a listen..

and again, you guys are effin awesome...thanks.

oh and to ripping hammer, i checked out your songs off of your myspace....pretty sweet and upbeat..i'll send a more detailed response on them once i get a better chance to listen....oh, and i accepted your friend request.

peace.

[einzweiveirfunf]

How very kind of you haha :) If you ever wanna give my stuff a listen the links right here:

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=555458