Beginning of a song (need a bit of a crit)

[Smellslikepie]

How do! It's been a long time since I've visited here :P 2 years, in fact.

Anyway, yesterday, a friend of mine asked me to write her a 'tune' on my bass. I'm still part way through doing it, and I've not added any other instruments yet. I was just wondering what you lot thought of it so far. (also, it's a midi file so use your imagination, eh? :p)

All criticism is welcome.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvDuQx5RxWo

[Mr. Pickle]

It sounds like a blatant ripoff and/or copy of some song I can't remember.


<_<

[Smellslikepie]

That's odd. It shouldn't do. As far as I'm aware it's original

[deemo]

sounds ok.

some parts resemble other songs, and i'm blanking on the names

pretty bland otherwise - not much going on. keep at it

[Smellslikepie]

sounds ok.

some parts resemble other songs, and i'm blanking on the names

pretty bland otherwise - not much going on. keep at it

Thanks for the input, Deemo. I've only just started it so I'm going to be working on it more. I've uploaded a newer version. The main difference is that I've altered the tempo so it's more like how I play it on my bass.

[Smellslikepie]

How do! It's been a long time since I've visited here :P 2 years, in fact.

Anyway, yesterday, a friend of mine asked me to write her a 'tune' on my bass. I'm still part way through doing it, and I've not added any other instruments yet. I was just wondering what you lot thought of it so far. (also, it's a midi file so use your imagination, eh? :p)

All criticism is welcome.

updated:
http://download.yousendit.com/9B35BBE4483739F3

Youtube version: (better i hope.. and longer)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvDuQx5RxWo