please critique my song (its for a contest)

[FullMoon]

hello everyone i need a little creative help with this piece. its for a tech fair and I'm entering it in the music section. so don't judge so much on the musicality but more toward production creativity and quality

http://www.myspace.com/sethssoloproject

its should be the first one titled "wish you were here"

[Surtr]

Think the names taken lol.

Come up with something more original, or else so many people will be comparing it to the Pink Floyd song.

[FullMoon]

..... it is Pink Floyd's song, well for the most part at the end the second musical piece is an original(and also the very beginning section)

[Surtr]

In that case come up with something original.