They Will Burn Brightly

[soundcheck]

Intro, Verse 1, Chorus, Verse 2, Chorus, Breakdown, Quiet Chorus, Chorus.

Verse 1
You were a disaster waiting to happen, the calm before the storm
I shouldn't have to apologize, for something I never did
I will not hold on to a sentimental image of someone
See you only ignore me cause you don't have the words to say

Verse 2
My brain doesn't ask me before it thinks, cause that does not make sense
You ruin everything you touch, everything

Breakdown
Take me away
From the pain
Take me away
From this **** (x2)

Chorus
I will burn the bridges
To the places I never want to go
I will stand before it all
And let it go
I will burn the bridges
To the people I never want to know
I hope I never see you again
And I hope that if I do it's in hell

(I found what I was looking for but you're gone now.
Irony will make me laugh, before I go.
I'm not scared, of the height, just the fall, just the fall.
I'm not scared, of the height, just the fall, just the fall.)

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Leave me a link and I'll crit back. Hope you like it :)

[asomata]

You were a disaster waiting to happen, the calm before the storm
I shouldn't have to apologize, for something I never did
I will not hold on to a sentimental image of someone
See you only ignore me cause you don't have the words to say


You will need to have one hell of a vocal delivery in order to pull that off and not have it sound overblown and ridiculous.


My brain doesn't ask me before it thinks, cause that does not make sense
You ruin everything you touch, everything


I don't see the significance of 'cause that does not make sense' especially as it doesn't relate to 'you ruin everything you touch...'


Take me away
From the pain
Take me away
From this **** (x2)


I don't understand why you'd take a very angry and independent position lyrically, to turn it around and have this part of helplessness, then switch it back to angry and independent.


I will burn the bridges
To the places I never want to go
I will stand before it all
And let it go
I will burn the bridges
To the people I never want to know
I hope I never see you again
And I hope that if I do it's in hell


I still think this just sounds overblown.


(I found what I was looking for but you're gone now.
Irony will make me laugh, before I go.
I'm not scared, of the height, just the fall, just the fall.
I'm not scared, of the height, just the fall, just the fall.)


Best part. The idea has still been done before, but it's fresher than the rest.


Basically, everyone wrote songs like this once. And yes, it can work in a song, depending on the vocal delivery and instrumentation, but the lyrics alone are not very strong and are generally melodramatic and overblown in a way that just seems to lack interest.

My song 'Steam Cacophony:'
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=547792