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RunAmokRampant
01-01-2008, 06:01 PM
Brought to us by a stream
That keeps the water cool
With rocks and waterfalls.
The rapids, like the mouths
Of know-it-alls keep
Arguments cool and collected,
With reasonable shelf life until
The time is needed for the waterfall,
The floodgates of spittle and foam
Bubbles to be henceforth called
Contentions and rebuttals.

We are all Know-It-Alls,
The baby knows nothing because
It doesn’t know the difference,
Henceforth they can drool and cry
All they want.

The prepubescent begins to scoff at
Authority as experience lingers like
That juicy red apple. A general fear
For snakes occurs but most
Take what they want

The teenager, the lovable hormonious being
Feels the independence as a reward still fed
To the by an ideal that everything
Takes what they want
For themselves.

The adult spends most of their lives,
Blurting out opinions about the taste
Of the apple; everyone has eaten it but
The taste can still be either sweet or bitter.
Tastebuds are useless if we can’t chew down food.

And so the poor elderly make do with dentals.
Cynicism evolves from the from when the river
Reaches the ocean, or makes do to wither up
To the clouds when the course of argument
Never ends. The taste of the apple nearly
Always becomes bitter, or tastes like something
Completely different when we have everything
Because we can’t take anything else because we don’t
Know how. Just like the baby.

When does the water in the stream,
The saliva we draw forth,
Ever know when the flow ceases?
When the thesis of something has
A point of an end of discussion,
When all’s been said and done?
How can an overview ever be discussed
More thoroughly? We argue like babies.

SugarCoatedSour
01-01-2008, 09:02 PM
Endearing that you should follow through on the whole idea, which is done to death but in this case it's quite different. I can't take it as a poem but maybe as a poetic thesis. Good stuff.

RunAmokRampant
01-02-2008, 05:01 AM
The funny thing is that this piece of crap is just saliva.

camdizzle
01-02-2008, 07:02 PM
...Feels the independence as a reward still fed
To the... by an ideal that everything...

To the what?

As for the rest of it, I agree with SugarCoatedSour. It's an interesting thesis if people are talking about the dynamics of an argument, but it doesn't really speak to me on a personal level. Also, I didn't really like the side by side imagery with the apple and the river. They don't really have anything to do with each other, and it can be a little confusing when you go back and forth between the two without a connection. It's also a bit linear. I do like that it's original, and for the most part it's pretty well written.

SugarCoatedSour
01-02-2008, 07:10 PM
The funny thing is that this piece of crap is just saliva.

I know that, but I also believe that's how real ideas are assembled and made into something creative. Too bad people are usually so judgemental of someone who wants to speak their mind aloud. It's clear that some of the things you wrote get muddled up with words that are needless but all the same it seems honest and thats why I liked it.

RunAmokRampant
01-02-2008, 11:43 PM
cool thx for your input guys.