New song. "Incinerated Six" yeah, it's about a fire.

[ThisIsDefinitelyNotSade]

actually it's about that fire that killed those 6 college kids and the one guy lived by jumping from the third story into a river.

go check it out.

http://www.myspace.com/raayl

it's the first to play

It starts out cold with games and friendly sights
No-one would have guessed that here we would die
Take our drinks to numb the pain and pass the night
The flame begins, on the porch and from the sky
Come the winds, spreading ash over our lives
This last silence broken with only cries.

I ask you
I pray you
I beg you
Please end this…
I’m melting
I’m fading
I’m dying..
Please end this…

I pray every minute that I have left alive
The heat scalds and melts away all my lies
A drunken slumber I sleep now until I die
I call out but silence returns my cries
The smoke rises and blackens out my eyes
The fire rises consuming what was my life.

I wake…
I call…
No answer…
I jump…
And I fall…
The water…
So cold…

[:amaze:]

not bad. i'm thinking eventually you should maybe try some variation with the vocal effects though.





:amaze:

[ThisIsDefinitelyNotSade]

NO.

Blood of Rome EVERY SONG WAS DIFFERENT VOCALLY.

cause i couldn't find anything i actually liked.

I like this.

It ain't going anywhere.

You hear a song and vocals like that come on, and what do you think? "Oh, that's RAAYL."

You don't sit there thinking its anybody else, you dont have trouble identifying or recognizing the tone. "Oh, that's a raayl vocal." That's what I want.

Also-I do falsetto voice in this song. Halfway through the main chorus passage where you hear that sort of synthy sound or whatever that mimics the melody-that's actually just me singing falsetto.

[Riouken]

Not one of my favourite ones.

First of all though, is tha t a real drum kit? or MIDI? cos they sound really authentic.

I think the form in this piece felt a bit loose and messy at times, I get the feeling that's what you were going for but it didn't liken to my ear. I do, however, like the overall mood of the piece. I felt one of the guitar sounds was a bit too high in the mix though.

One thing I like about your style is to build upon a simple motiff and really have focus on lyrical content as opposed to intricate harmony and/or melody. Short and sweet is the way forard.

The outro is absolutely awesome, that was my favourite bit of the whole piece.

As for the vocals, they didn't sound like the flowed smoothly, I think cathcing your breath is art of the style but again, it sounded like you struggled. I think this i still what you are going for, so it might be a taste issue etc. etc. Change the vocal sound when you get bored of this one. I think it works a lot of the time, but suprising people with a nice change in flow would be great.

[ThisIsDefinitelyNotSade]

Not one of my favourite ones.

First of all though, is tha t a real drum kit? or MIDI? cos they sound really authentic.

I think the form in this piece felt a bit loose and messy at times, I get the feeling that's what you were going for but it didn't liken to my ear. I do, however, like the overall mood of the piece. I felt one of the guitar sounds was a bit too high in the mix though.

One thing I like about your style is to build upon a simple motiff and really have focus on lyrical content as opposed to intricate harmony and/or melody. Short and sweet is the way forard.

The outro is absolutely awesome, that was my favourite bit of the whole piece.

As for the vocals, they didn't sound like the flowed smoothly, I think cathcing your breath is art of the style but again, it sounded like you struggled. I think this i still what you are going for, so it might be a taste issue etc. etc. Change the vocal sound when you get bored of this one. I think it works a lot of the time, but suprising people with a nice change in flow would be great.

lmfao dude, i love you.

the drums are real.

On second thought, Now I want to change some ****.

omg.

BRB

[muthafunkabass]

NO.

Blood of Rome EVERY SONG WAS DIFFERENT VOCALLY.

cause i couldn't find anything i actually liked.

I like this.

It ain't going anywhere.

You hear a song and vocals like that come on, and what do you think? "Oh, that's RAAYL."

You don't sit there thinking its anybody else, you dont have trouble identifying or recognizing the tone. "Oh, that's a raayl vocal." That's what I want.

Also-I do falsetto voice in this song. Halfway through the main chorus passage where you hear that sort of synthy sound or whatever that mimics the melody-that's actually just me singing falsetto.
Actually I heard vocals like yours in a song once, I found it the other day it's some band called Family Force 5.
You're better IMO.

[ThisIsDefinitelyNotSade]

the new version is up.

It's about 20x better.

Go listen.

[Tryxx]

First time I've taken to listening to your stuff in quite some time.

In short, I enjoyed it.

There are a few things I would change, but if any of the stuff I suggested was touched it just wouldn't be you. For instance, I don't think the song has a large instrumental variety, so I would bring the vocals up a bit, effects and all to compensate for that gap. Though, I think it's just you personifying the whole "open eyes, closed mouth" philosophy. "Broken Stilleto" fits more with what I have in mind.

Aside from that, one "fault" - and it isn't really that - is that listening to this would have to be happen when I'm just hanging out, on the computer, or any other static activity. It isn't something I'd listen to in the car, mindlessly focused on, or just background noise in that respect. I'm not sure what you could do to change that, or if you'd even want to. I think the way it is now makes the listener pay more attention to detail, even if it's subconcious.

The vocal effects are perfect.

[ThisIsDefinitelyNotSade]

the new vocal stuff on it is just so much better. the first version sucked.

it's not even my typical "gritty" rap style anymore. It's more of a frantic, high pitched, desperate "yell." The chorus part "please end this" is a mix of ACTUAL screaming (not my usual death metal style ****) and the frantic yelling. It's all panned.