Up The Golden Rockers

[Calimethar]

Here's some lyrics I wrote for my bands upcoming EP. The lyrics are summat weird, but maybe you can give me some crits.

Up The Golden Rockers

There's a killer on the run
And he's got a nasty plan
He likes being a man
Up the golden rockers

Na then', he says
And then he's gone again
Throws a benny while he's at it
Up the golden rockers

Can you Adam and Eve it
More than a year before he beat it
And before him another grim man
Who's my Peter Pan, left the building

When Neverland closed its doors
Me china came to explore me old lass
In his whistle and flute
Up the golden rockers

Reinvent and reproduce is all that we have to do
In the morning rain
We steal a wheel, everything seems real
But it's just a game
Reinvent and reproduce is all we ever do
In the morning rain
We steal a wheel and invent it again
But it's just the same

Up the apple and pears
Coliba is not aware
Of the children watching his steps
Up the golden rockers

[Surf]

The cockney stuff is pretty cheesy I'm not going to lie. and the first line sounds like riders on the storm.

Aside from the cockney stuff (which I really recommend getting rid of, or at least toning down), the ideas seem a bit disjointed. alot of the verses are seemingly separate, and we're not really told much about the golden rockers. Or indeed why they should be 'up'-ed, so to speak.

I'm not really sure what the direction of this is, it seems pretty random. Have a look at the s&l guide for some more in depth guidance on lyrics, because I'm not really sure where this is going.

[Calimethar]

Yeah, I know the cockney stuff is kinda easy but I dunno what to write instead. The lyrics aren't meant to be deep or something, but I agree that I should tone down the cockney ****. Oh, and up the golden rockers just means stairs.

I do not totally agree with jou about the verses bein disjointed, because the first three verses are following the same story. Thanks for your comment.