Maelstrom

[r1mbaud]

The blonde sprays stars that floats
like notes from flat harps dripping down the wall
Like the sparkling artifacts that are kneeling to us all
my darling phantom
Ill come through believe it.
The sounds of silence
resounds around our eyelids

Hand made rhymes
whispered just divine that
“I wanna see your eyes and”
Barreling through the times
Fairly new wine trickling down my bones
Unearthing amorphous tomes
In the comely unknowns
Fighting off faggot fiends
Selling the most unbelievable things
This scene’s schemes and unfortunate dreams
Are lovelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly.

[Charlie Daniels]

Don't give up your day job.

[Surf]

You started off alright: not the most original stuff and some of the line breaks were a little off, but nothing you couldn't edit out.

Then about halfway through the second stanza it all went tits up. And you lost any sense of atmosphere or emotion that you were trying to create.

[r1mbaud]

You started off alright: not the most original stuff and some of the line breaks were a little off, but nothing you couldn't edit out.

Then about halfway through the second stanza it all went tits up. And you lost any sense of atmosphere or emotion that you were trying to create.

granted it sucks, im going to try to integrate the phrase "tits up" in to everyday discussions.