uhm duh im too cool for a title

[r1mbaud]

ocean of scales

The golden sun sets soon
sea coloured cobwebs rise from my flesh
cryptic splintered sails
across an ocean of scales
i dust the cobwebs with a syringe
my veins have hid
like the pupils in my eyes
cold sweat and wired thrills
erasing the faces with slowing paces

[DeadReligion]

Arrogance is never appealing. And that was bad sarcastic arrogance.

The imagery here is fantastic, but I have no idea what the **** you're talking about. Drugs perhaps? Make it clearer.

EDIT: I don't know if one would use a syringe would dust off cobwebs, it doesn't really work logically. But, then again, we're poets...we don't have to worry about that ****. :-P

[SuperID]

You could have done without a title, it's like you're self aware of your falsity. But the words are good and do seemingly well at romanticising one's heroin craving being satisfied. I liked it.

[r1mbaud]

the cobwebs are veins.. using syringes lowers your veins
the title thing was a mock at the thread trends

[i am the robots]

good beginning, awesome images, work it to be a little more coherent

[DeadReligion]

Thanks for reiterating my points.

[r1mbaud]

coherency is for the noble, i am but a poet.

[DeadReligion]

If no one knows what you're saying, no one is going to care. No one will read your stuff.

[r1mbaud]

If no one knows what you're saying, no one is going to care. No one will read your stuff.

people understand, maybe not you or her, but honestly who cares?


if you dont get it you dont get it, but if you do get it, you'll feel it.

[DeadReligion]

Oh, that's nice.

[SuperID]

People come in here and give uncaring responses, which is completely foolish. If you don't care and yet respond it doesn't always have to be negative. Seems like not caring is an excuse to spout unappolagetic garbage.

[GorgeousGabe]

Yeah... besides, I understood it perfectly.

That being said I don't think it's enough to constitute a full 'song'
I mean
I haven't HEARD it, but it seems very short..?

[TojesDolan]

the cobwebs are veins.. using syringes lowers your veins
the title thing was a mock at the thread trends
Thread tends nowadays are sh‪itty titles for sh‪itty content.

[r1mbaud]

Thread tends nowadays are sh‪itty titles for sh‪itty content. to each his own. Though I understand what you're getting at.

[TojesDolan]

My point is, pretentiousness = bad

wrong perception of self work = bad

overexposure = bad

tojesdolan = ban

[r1mbaud]

My point is, pretentiousness = bad
and then you continue with
wrong perception of self work = bad

overexposure = bad

tojesdolan = ban

[TojesDolan]

I'm flamboyant

[r1mbaud]

ooo i like.