Teacher/student relationship

[philly96]

Theres a girl that went to my school last year thats going out with a guy that is a teacher of the same school. However, she is 18 but the teacher would be 40-odd. Therefore I was wondering what people think of this situation?

I personally think its wrong mostly but it is her decision and its not like she still goes to the school as we graduated last year. She its not like she will get favouritism or anything. But he is 40-odd and a teacher. Therefore I think its wrong. Tell your opinions on this.

/I realise this thread will probably get deleted.

[Meatplow]

I don't see anything wrong with an intergenerational relationship as long as it's above legal age, personally i would find it awkward though. Not to stereotype how much can an 18 yr old and a 40 yr old have in common, with interests and social crowds? Plus if they decide to get married one of them is more likely to cark it 20 years before the other..... most older-younger relationships seem to be more of a sexual attraction thing.

[Reaganista]

there's nothing wrong with this people should be free to **** whoever they choose once they hit puberty
But he is 40-odd and a teacher. Therefore I think its wrong
no you see you need another step in there

[Danger Bird]

It's not that it's inherently wrong, but for an 18 year old and 40 year old to find each other attractive, at least one of them probably has issues that result in an unhealthy relationship.

[Reaganista]

if any man of any age doesn't want to **** every healthy 18 year old girl he has some serious issues

[Meatplow]

It's not that it's inherently wrong, but for an 18 year old and 40 year old to find each other attractive, at least one of them probably has issues that result in an unhealthy relationship.

I don't think you measure probability like that from mere attraction. I've met older women i find attractive, and i'm sure younger women have thought the same about some older men. It doesn't mean there is some kind of internal issue happening for that attraction to be there.

[philly96]

I just find it a bit wrong due to it being a student/teacher relationship. Sure shes 18 and all that but theres a 20 year gap at least. Thats what I find wrong.

[Alf™]

If you think that is wrong, don't watch the TV show Age of Love.

[Dinosawesome]

The Poo became a poo.

[Meatplow]

I just find it a bit wrong due to it being a student/teacher relationship. Sure shes 18 and all that but theres a 20 year gap at least. Thats what I find wrong.

You won't be the only one, there's still a lot of traditionalists about. Just go with it, as long as he's not hurting her or using her for sex there should be no problem. It'll be awkward for them though.

[philly96]

Oh, its not because of the age difference that is the major problem though. I know age shouldn't be the barrior but opens the question as he was a teacher at the school which we both went, was there favouritism and stuff like when she went? I think the problem for me isn't the age but more the morals of the relationship.

[dei]

I think it's weird because these people probably share nothing in common, but she's adult now and can date whoever the **** she wants, so it's all good, I guess.

[Meatplow]

Oh, its not because of the age difference that is the major problem though.

Well you keep mentioning the age gap it's a little confusing.

I know age shouldn't be the barrior but opens the question as he was a teacher at the school which we both went, was there favouritism and stuff like when she went? I think the problem for me isn't the age but more the morals of the relationship.

I'm a little fuzzy on this favoritism thing. Are you wondering what was happening back then when you all were still in high school?

[philly96]

Yeah pretty much. There might have been favouritism due to him being a music teacher and her being a music student under him (no pun intented, it just happened). Thats my problem with it. Does everyone think its right as they are both consenting or wrong due to the circumstances which they got together?

[Dave de Sylvia]

It's not that it's inherently wrong, but for an 18 year old and 40 year old to find each other attractive, at least one of them probably has issues that result in an unhealthy relationship.
There's something ****ed up about an 18 year old girl who hasn't found herself a husband yet.

[Linkinbassist]

If she's legal and isn't his student anymore, then why not...I don't even think favouritism even comes into it.

[Dr Hooch]

A ~30 year old teacher from our school quietly married a sixth former once she'd left. I don't think it's a huge deal.

[Aklerc]

No there's nothing wrong with it. I, personally, I think would struggle to find common ground to have a proper relationship with a 30-40 year old and I think lot's would which is why most think it's wrong. But as long as it's all legal it's fine.

And how many of you have fancied teachers, eh?

i know i have. tooo many

[dei]

I liked one of my teachers back in high school but she was 25 and I was 17. :)

[Lupus]

Could not care less

[Eliminator]

Yeah pretty much. There might have been favouritism due to him being a music teacher and her being a music student under him (no pun intented, it just happened). Thats my problem with it. Does everyone think its right as they are both consenting or wrong due to the circumstances which they got together?

that's not your problem with it.

[PerpetualBurn]

I think issues arise in age gap relationships that wouldn't arise if both partners were the same age. For instance, if a girl is 18 and a man 45, say, in ten years time should the girl want children, will the man want to be a father at 55? Have a 10 year old child at 65?

I really don't give a **** if people want to though.

[Der Übermensch]

Well, it's a bit strange, but as long as she isn't at that school anymore, I see nothing inherantly wrong with it...

[Seafroggys]

I liked one of my teachers back in high school but she was 25 and I was 17. :)

I'm pretty sure every guy with an attractive 20-35 teacher has :D

if any man of any age doesn't want to **** every healthy 18 year old girl he has some serious issues

this ^^^

[Der Übermensch]

heh.... I'm sure that when we are forty, that guy will be our hero...

[pedro durruti]

****, another morality/sexuality thread! Does anyone know the sociology of the student/teacher relationship?

[Shadius]

I think it's unproffesional, personally. She'd have seen him as an athority figure when she first knew/met him, and the authority thing can be very attractive. It's so worse that he was her teacher and not just a teacher.

They can do what they like, but seriously, my opinion is that it probably won't last, and she's probably got daddy issues or something.

[italic zero]

we don't like it because we don't like old guys stealing our women

[PerpetualBurn]

I think it's unproffesional, personally.

Except it in no way affects his job and the work he does.

[Det_Nosnip]

there's nothing wrong with this people should be free to **** whoever they choose once they hit puberty


So 80 year old men should be able to ****...13 year olds?
Fathers should be able to **** their daughters once the girls come of age?
:confused:

[Det_Nosnip]

if any man of any age doesn't want to **** every healthy 18 year old girl he has some serious issues

Or he is a perfectly healthy homosexual...

[Reaganista]

So 80 year old men should be able to ****...13 year olds?
Fathers should be able to **** their daughters once the girls come of age?

yeah that's what i said
Or he is a perfectly healthy homosexual...
sweet thanks for point that out it was really helpful

[Det_Nosnip]

You said that people should be free to **** anyone they want as soon as they hit puberty. Puberty usually occurs around 13 with many girls. Hence...?

[Reaganista]

yes

that

is

what

i

said

[Det_Nosnip]

...So...let me get this straight...

You support pedophilia and incest?

[Reaganista]

incest is all good

and if by pedophilia you mean postpubescent people who happen to be under arbitrary age-of-consent laws then yes

[Det_Nosnip]

Wow.

...

You're ****ed up. That, or you enjoy heavy amounts of internet humor. I'm still holding out hope for the second one, but my faith is failing me...

[Reaganista]

no im not joking what's to joke about

[Danger Bird]

Pedophilia means sexual attraction to prepubescent children.

[Reaganista]

i know that but nobody cares about that distinction anyway so w/e

[Der Übermensch]

You support pedophilia and incest?

Not the literal definition of pedophilia (as tway pointed out), but I think the age of consent laws are a bit screwy...

As for incest, I think it's disgusting, but as long as it's consentual and not pedo in nature, I don't believe it should be outlawed...

[spitfirejunky]

Poor girl set a really early deadline to her sexlife, assuming she's not promiscuous.

[Lydisk]

i like my sergeant. she is nice

[A Dead Modernist]

One of my teachers had a sexual relations with a student while she was still in school and under 18. I thought it was pretty funny until I found out he had the option to continue teaching or quit.

[RIP Ian Curtis]

Not the literal definition of pedophilia (as tway pointed out), but I think the age of consent laws are a bit screwy...

As for incest, I think it's disgusting, but as long as it's consentual and not pedo in nature, I don't believe it should be outlawed...

16's a fairly good age for it methinks. The police here won't go out and arrest an 18 year old for nailing some dumb 15 year old slag, but it means that creepy old fu'cks can get whats coming to them.

As for incest, it's one of the oldest taboos in society, don't you think it may exist for a reason?

[PerpetualBurn]

As for incest, it's one of the oldest taboos in society, don't you think it may exist for a reason?

I can't think of a single reason that would still apply.

[Meatplow]

16's a fairly good age for it methinks. The police here won't go out and arrest an 18 year old for nailing some dumb 15 year old slag, but it means that creepy old fu'cks can get whats coming to them.

I agree with this.

As for incest, it's one of the oldest taboos in society, don't you think it may exist for a reason?

I also can't think of a reason. I don't support it, but as long as it's consensual well old Dickie can slip it to his sister in the backwoods of nowhere i don't give a ****.

[Dr Hooch]

I also can't think of a reason. I don't support it, but as long as it's consensual well old Dickie can slip it to his sister in the backwoods of nowhere i don't give a ****.

well their children will be disabled or blind or something 50% of the time i think that's a pretty good reason

[Der Übermensch]

No, the chance of **** ups only increases something like 2%...

[Reaganista]

As for incest, it's one of the oldest taboos in society, don't you think it may exist for a reason?
well kinship is culturally defined so the taboo is actually variable
but i do know why it originally formed and i dont see what it has to do with modern people

[Dr Hooch]

No, the chance of **** ups only increases something like 2%...

i'm working off the anecdotal but i imagine we're both wrong

[Knifeboy]

All I know, is that the couple(sister and brother) pushing for reform in the incest laws in germany, had three kids and two of them had severe handicaps

.. I found that pretty sad/hilarious

[Reaganista]

i'm working off the anecdotal but i imagine we're both wrong
nope just you

[Dr Hooch]

All I know, is that the couple(sister and brother) pushing for reform in the incest laws in germany, had three kids and two of them had severe handicaps

.. I found that pretty sad/hilarious

This is basically my evidence

[PerpetualBurn]

No, the chance of **** ups only increases something like 2%...

In the first generation.

[RIP Ian Curtis]

The reproduction isn't my problem with it, we've advanced as a society to a point where sex =/= babies. I just can't imagine an incestual relationship that was not in some way exploitation

[dei]

In the first generation.

Of course.

I watched something on TV about this tribe in Africa that encourages sex between siblings, or something. It's screwed. Everyone is born with like boomerang-shaped feet.

[Meatplow]

well their children will be disabled or blind or something 50% of the time i think that's a pretty good reason

All I know, is that the couple(sister and brother) pushing for reform in the incest laws in germany, had three kids and two of them had severe handicaps

.. I found that pretty sad/hilarious

Of course.

I watched something on TV about this tribe in Africa that encourages sex between siblings, or something. It's screwed. Everyone is born with like boomerang-shaped feet.

I fail to see why people find it a valid fetish.

[Reaganista]

i don't think any babies should ever result from fetish sex
which is why i'm pro-choice

also
what if two people who aren't related but share ridiculously horrible recessive genes want to ****
because we can check for that now

[Smokey D]

The reasons incest is still taboo is the same reason statutory rape laws apply anywhere -- a parent is in a position of such authority for so long that it is entirely possible (and I imagine quite frequent where pubescent incest does occur) that reasonable consent cannot truly exist.

[PerpetualBurn]

I fail to see why people find it a valid fetish.

Well it's not really a fetish. Unless, I suppose, you were only attracted to the thought of having sex with a family member rather than being attracted to a person who just happens to be a family member.

Either way, if it's two consenting adults then I don't see how you'd define a "valid" fetish.

[Meatplow]

Well it's not really a fetish. Unless, I suppose, you were only attracted to the thought of having sex with a family member rather than being attracted to a person who just happens to be a family member.

That's what i'm talking about.

Either way, if it's two consenting adults then I don't see how you'd define a "valid" fetish.

Well i didn't mean the entire concept of incest, just that i find it strange people get turned on by it when with me it conjures up images of deformed and ugly children.

[PerpetualBurn]

That's what i'm talking about.

Well I would think that adult incestuous relationships would be based on attraction in spite of relation rather than as a product there of.



Well i didn't mean the entire concept of incest, just that i find it strange people get turned on by it when with me it conjures up images of deformed and ugly children.

Well it's because you're being completely irrational and supposing that the risk is that much greater and for ignoring the existence of contraceptives.

Only the minority of people having sex are thinking about having a baby.

[Drummer300btx]

as for the student teacher thing: fundamentally, the relationship is perfectly ok. 2 consenting adults doing... what consenting adults are allowed to do. Sure there is a certain peculiarity in the fact that they are not from the same generation and it is also more rare, but that doesn't mean that the relationship cannot be based on good things.

as for pedophiles and incest and other good debate:
i dont go to the south so idk.

[RIP Ian Curtis]

That's what i'm talking about.



Well i didn't mean the entire concept of incest, just that i find it strange people get turned on by it when with me it conjures up images of deformed and ugly children.

It's a pretty basic paraphillia. Basically, like a lot of fetishistic sex, it's not the actual act but the sheer "wrongness" and taboo nature of the sex act that becomes the turn-on for the pervert.

[Kif]

If the girl has left school, then it's not a student/teacher relationship, and in that sense I don't see anything wrong with it. However if she was in school during the time, I'd find it rather irresponsible on the teacher's part.

[Reaganista]

The reasons incest is still taboo is the same reason statutory rape laws apply anywhere -- a parent is in a position of such authority for so long that it is entirely possible (and I imagine quite frequent where pubescent incest does occur) that reasonable consent cannot truly exist.
ya but reasonable consent is a bullshit concept

[Smokey D]

No it's not.

[Meatplow]

Well I would think that adult incestuous relationships would be based on attraction in spite of relation rather than as a product there of.

I think R.I.P. summed up what i was trying to get across.

It's a pretty basic paraphillia. Basically, like a lot of fetishistic sex, it's not the actual act but the sheer "wrongness" and taboo nature of the sex act that becomes the turn-on for the pervert.

Well it's because you're being completely irrational and supposing that the risk is that much greater and for ignoring the existence of contraceptives.

I'm not really touching on this at all because i'm simply talking about my confusion of people finding it a turn on because it so taboo. I might of taken it off topic a bit that's where the confusion lies.

[PerpetualBurn]

I think R.I.P. summed up what i was trying to get across.

Except for the incest can occur between two consenting adults and therefore it's entirely possible that two people have a relationship and the fact they are brother and sister is entirely incidental.

I'm not really touching on this at all because i'm simply talking about my confusion of people finding it a turn on because it so taboo. I might of taken it off topic a bit that's where the confusion lies.

There's nothing to suggest that in all or even a significant number of cases of incest people are turned on by the thought of incest itself as opposed to simply having a hot sister.

[Meatplow]

Except for the incest can occur between two consenting adults and therefore it's entirely possible that two people have a relationship and the fact they are brother and sister is entirely incidental.

You read too much into what i said, i never said this could not be the case.

There's nothing to suggest that in all or even a significant number of cases of incest people are turned on by the thought of incest itself as opposed to simply having a hot sister.

I was making a passing comment, not commenting on any kind of significance whatsoever. I'm referring to the abundance of incest themed pornography and sex stories that some people get into.

[PerpetualBurn]

Well you said you agreed with this

it's not the actual act but the sheer "wrongness" and taboo nature of the sex

So I don't think I read anything that you didn't explicitly state.

But if you'd like me to assume that your posts will be saying the opposite of what you type, then we can try that.

[Meatplow]

For the pervert yes not someone who actually feels an emotional connection.

[iliketoplaydrums10111]

I don't think it's wrong

Give the guy a break, he's a lonely 40 year old teacher. If you were in his shoes and you saw that a hot *** 18 year old wanted your ****, you'd boink her. She has the problems

Guys are just horny


lol

[Reaganista]

No it's not.
k let me get right on believing that people magically acquire reason the day they turn 18 and all people younger than that lack it
and that no one over 18 ever ****s for 'unreasonable' reasons

[Dr Hooch]

I think that the idea is that everyone within 3 standard deviations or something can give informed consent at age 18

Do what you can with what you have punk

[Reaganista]

I think that the idea is that everyone within 3 standard deviations or something can give informed consent at age 18

wat

Do what you can with what you have punk
no

[PerpetualBurn]

It's important to note that Hayden Panettiere is 17 in Heroes and she's clearly gagging for it.

[Reaganista]

but she's being unreasonable!

[Smokey D]

k let me get right on believing that people magically acquire reason the day they turn 18 and all people younger than that lack it
and that no one over 18 ever ****s for 'unreasonable' reasons

Yeah, but age based consent isn't reasonable consent.

In fact it's pretty unreasonable.

[Reaganista]

if by reasonable consent you mean something more or less identical to competence then i guess i can agree
but if you want to get into stuff like emotional maturity and not understanding the non-physical consequence and other innane garbage then it is a bullshit concept
and age consent is predicated upon the assumption that all minors are inherently unreasonable

[Smokey D]

Competence.

But I do think that the power relationship established in childhood between parent and child -- especially if the parent is abusive -- can vitiate reasonable consent/competence.

[Reaganista]

Competence.

But I do think that the power relationship established in childhood between parent and child -- especially if the parent is abusive -- can vitiate reasonable consent/competence.

well the kid should become a ward of the state if the parent is abusive i dont see how failure to do that that should preclude any mentally balanced mother****ers from getting it on

[Smokey D]

I suspect it's too difficult to reasonably ascertain.

Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of cases of incest are abusive.

[Reaganista]

I suspect it's too difficult to reasonably ascertain.

then the presumption of innocence would dictate that they were really doing nothing wrong
if non-abusive incest was legal
not to mention the fact that the vast majority of cases of incest are abusive.
even if that's true it's discriminatory against benign daughter****ers

[Smokey D]

then the presumption of innocence would dictate that they were really doing nothing wrong
if non-abusive incest was legal

Lots of laws circumvent presumption of innocence in their very creation.


even if that's true it's discriminatory against benign daughter****ers

And mandatory seatbelt wearing discriminates against people who don't get in car accidents.

[Reaganista]

Lots of laws circumvent presumption of innocence in their very creation.
i dont see what that has to do with this law
And mandatory seatbelt wearing discriminates against people who don't get in car accidents.
yeah it does

[Smokey D]

i dont see what that has to do with this law

Which means it's stupid to say 'presumption of innocence' when many laws, including this one, do away with the sort of presumption you're arguing for.

[Reaganista]

Which means it's stupid to say 'presumption of innocence' when many laws, including this one, do away with the sort of presumption you're arguing for.
no it's not the american legal system is supposed to be based on the presumption of innocence, which is a good thing to have, therefore activities that disregard this should be argued against on those grounds

[Smokey D]

When 99% of cases of a particular type of action are malignant, then the state can create laws against those actions and leave it to the judge to apply a fair and reasonable decision in the event.

[Dr Hooch]

It's important to note that Hayden Panettiere is 17 in Heroes and she's clearly gagging for it.

When she crashed that guys car

She was just taking him out to a shady spot for a second try

She just happens to drive like a woman

[PerpetualBurn]

Gagging for it.

[GreyHam]

plus you could do all kinds of ****ed up kinky **** to her and obviously she wouldnt get hurt at all...

think of the possibilities...

[Dr Hooch]

couskullf'uckgh

[GreyHam]

why the hell not!

[Shadius]

Except it in no way affects his job and the work he does.

Who says the unproffesionalism is only to do with the work someone does in the context of how they perform?

Someones a minor, who a learns UNDER you, and then they get a crush on you, and you take advantage of that. Thats CLEARLY proffesional.

[Shadius]

even if that's true it's discriminatory against benign daughter****ers

you're a cunt.

(:

[PerpetualBurn]

Who says the unproffesionalism is only to do with the work someone does in the context of how they perform?

Because it's not unprofessional if it's in no way related to your profession.

Someones a minor, who a learns UNDER you, and then they get a crush on you, and you take advantage of that. Thats CLEARLY proffesional.

Well yeah.

But we're talking about an adult who wasn't in his class.

Clearly that has nothing to do with his profession.

[iliketoplaydrums10111]

He just wants some ***

[Reaganista]

When 99% of cases of a particular type of action are malignant, then the state can create laws against those actions and leave it to the judge to apply a fair and reasonable decision in the event.
then the law should say abusive incest is illegal not all incest is illegal