View Full Version : the old joke thread
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-07-2007, 08:40 AM
ok i shot you with a GUM
instead of a gun
go
fingers mccoy
08-07-2007, 08:42 AM
the dentist the other day cut my lower jaw off with an axe but it was only axeydental
Charlie Manson
08-07-2007, 08:43 AM
lol
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-07-2007, 08:43 AM
a man walked up to the alter scorned and ridiculed
he was gay and fat
fingers mccoy
08-07-2007, 08:47 AM
a rampant baby has recently been feeding on defenceless women
police are combing the areola
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 08:47 AM
Auto Biography (noun) - The life story of a car.
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-07-2007, 08:53 AM
A gay monkey was homosexual.
fingers mccoy
08-07-2007, 08:56 AM
lmaoooooo
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:16 AM
Why did George Bush cross the road?
He ****ed the chicken and didn't have an exit strategy
fingers mccoy
08-07-2007, 09:18 AM
the chicken got pregnant and employed an egg-sit strategy
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:19 AM
So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
the bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
Pastorius
08-07-2007, 09:33 AM
why did the pervert cross the road
couldn't get his knob out the chicken
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:35 AM
The old USSR had one single time zone too. They had a hammer and sickle in the ground near the Kremlin and used it like a sundial.
Arguments raged for years as to what to call the timezone
Moscow Time?
Comrade Time?
In the end they all agreed.
Hammer Time.
Benzum
08-07-2007, 09:44 AM
So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
the bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
nice
class
08-07-2007, 09:47 AM
So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
the bartender says,
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."
careful, those puns will get you in treble
i came out... of the shadows, lmao!
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:48 AM
careful, those puns will get you in treble
That struck a chord
class
08-07-2007, 09:49 AM
and said wtf i thought i came out on your son
class
08-07-2007, 09:49 AM
That struck a chord
where have i read this convo lol
i'd rep but i've repped you before
so my friend was lifting weights
i repped him
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:50 AM
where have i read this convo lol
i'd rep but i've repped you before
so my friend was lifting weights
i repped him
It's key to my humor and quite noteworthy (bash)
class
08-07-2007, 09:52 AM
bash...ah hah i knew it...i was actually just reading some a few minutes ago...
class
08-07-2007, 09:53 AM
reagayngster post here so i can neg rep you for neg reppin me thx
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 09:54 AM
Did you hear about the Linux powered car finishing last in the indy 500? It's not surprising, you know how impossible it is to find a decent linux driver?
reagayngster post here so i can neg rep you for neg reppin me thx
He's a scared punk *** bitch
class
08-07-2007, 09:55 AM
i'm gonna make my own yokes, hopin to crack a few laughs out of them
what
Benzum
08-07-2007, 09:55 AM
Did you hear about the Linux powered car finishing last in the indy 500? It's not surprising, you know how impossible it is to find a decent linux driver?
lol you nerd
id post some jokes but they will be bad so im happy to read these
class
08-07-2007, 09:56 AM
post them c'mon guy
Benzum
08-07-2007, 09:57 AM
ill try give me a few minutes to think of something FUNNY
Reaganista
08-07-2007, 09:58 AM
reagayngster post here so i can neg rep you for neg reppin me thx
cunt
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:03 AM
i like my women how i like my wine, 5 years old
class
08-07-2007, 10:06 AM
i like my women like i like my fridge, bare and a little disgusting sometimes
Benzum
08-07-2007, 10:06 AM
i like my women how i like my wine, 5 years old
thats stupid because how can a woman be 5 years old?
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:08 AM
I like my women how I like my filesystems. FAT and 16
Benzum
08-07-2007, 10:08 AM
lol :rolleyes:
class
08-07-2007, 10:10 AM
i like my women like i like some of my reps, nigged
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:10 AM
jk about liking FAT 16 wtf
Benzum
08-07-2007, 10:10 AM
its all good
actually pretty funny
congratulations
class
08-07-2007, 10:12 AM
i like my women like i like keygens, loud and annoying
Reaganista
08-07-2007, 10:13 AM
I like my women how I like my filesystems. FAT and 16
only good one
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:20 AM
They're making an Arab inflatable sex doll.
It blows itself up.
Benzum
08-07-2007, 10:22 AM
ahahaha
terrible
superpeer
08-07-2007, 10:22 AM
I like my women how I like my sweaters. Pink and fluffy.
???
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:29 AM
whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall?
my dick while im doing it
class
08-07-2007, 10:31 AM
why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
cuz then it'd be a foot
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:33 AM
Guys it looks like all those years of phone sex have caught up with me... I went to the doctor and I have hearing AIDS :(
YouGottaBeCrazy
08-07-2007, 10:42 AM
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. A minute later, a whale walks into the bar and sits down next to him. The man turns to the whale and says, "hey, how are ya'?" The whale makes an awkward noise as he flaps his mouth at him at a quick pace. So, the man says, "man, what THE **** you talkin' 'bout?!?!?!?"
aristarcus
08-07-2007, 10:52 AM
Then the thread gets closed
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 10:56 AM
the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
YouGottaBeCrazy
08-07-2007, 11:03 AM
lol
Dinosawesome
08-07-2007, 11:09 AM
Womens rights.
/overused
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-07-2007, 11:10 AM
what have i done
Dinosawesome
08-07-2007, 11:18 AM
made a thread
what have i done
only started the best mx thread in months/weeks/years
Light_Fantastic
08-07-2007, 11:25 AM
I went thru three pages of these so called jokes. I didn't laugh once.
All of these jokes were either A. terrible. B. Made no sense, or 3. Were terribly unfunny. Yet the thread goes on???
Dinosawesome
08-07-2007, 11:25 AM
I went thru three pages of these so called jokes. I didn't laugh once.
All of these jokes were either A. terrible. B. Made no sense, or 3. Were terribly unfunny. Yet the thread goes on???
:lol:
best joke of the thread so far imo
I went thru three pages of these so called jokes. I didn't laugh once.
All of these jokes were either A. terrible. B. Made no sense, or 3. Were terribly unfunny. Yet the thread goes on???
and yet this one remains open :eek:
A MURDER HAS BEEN COMMITTED
AND THE VICTIM IS COMEDY
Light_Fantastic
08-07-2007, 11:37 AM
Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.
The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog.
Tillius
08-07-2007, 11:37 AM
Whaddya call a black man who flies an airplane?
A pilot ya ****in' racists.
Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.
The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment. Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my dog.
:lol:
Blackichan
08-07-2007, 12:13 PM
Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!
Get it cause bread can't fly a plane.
YouGottaBeCrazy
08-07-2007, 12:37 PM
I don't get it.
Blackichan
08-07-2007, 12:39 PM
well it's quite simple. If a loaf of bread was in the pilots seat the plane would crash because a loaf of bread can't steer or anything.
iarescientists
08-07-2007, 12:40 PM
Yes, but then how did the plane take off?
Blackichan
08-07-2007, 12:41 PM
I'm gonna say...magic
iarescientists
08-07-2007, 12:42 PM
oh ****, you got me there
Blackichan
08-07-2007, 12:45 PM
so if you think about, it's actually a pretty good joke.
superpeer
08-07-2007, 12:57 PM
Now I get it!
YouGottaBeCrazy
08-07-2007, 01:55 PM
still don't get it
Light_Fantastic
08-07-2007, 02:44 PM
I will never get it.
Anarcho Poser
08-07-2007, 03:17 PM
Did you guys hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?
He's allright now.
Benzum
08-07-2007, 03:19 PM
A MURDER HAS BEEN COMMITTED
AND THE VICTIM IS COMEDY
he he he he
Double You Awful
08-07-2007, 03:26 PM
A fireman storms into a kindergarten room holding a hammer and shouts, "THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!"
/stolen from joke thread a long long time ago
Anarcho Poser
08-07-2007, 04:38 PM
What'd one injun say to the other?
Vroooom!
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-07-2007, 05:35 PM
hey **** you ill scalp your *** buttface
ok i shot you with a GUM
instead of a gun
go
chew on that!
Insomniac20k
08-07-2007, 08:08 PM
My jokes > than Jaylink
horseypie
08-08-2007, 02:38 AM
what do you call two guys that stand around a window all day?
kurt 'n' rod
class
08-08-2007, 02:58 AM
y can't u toast toast? u'd pry burn it tbh
Strum
08-08-2007, 03:06 AM
what did god say when his poo wouldn't flush?
holyshit!
class
08-08-2007, 03:08 AM
what'd i call you when you whispered something to me?
gay
Jacaranda
08-08-2007, 03:25 AM
Q: Why did the black person cross the road?
A: To avoid walking on the same path as a white woman. I forgot to tell you that it was 1955!
Q: Why did Syd Barrett cross the road?
A: Because he is an acid casualty and he thought the road was a snake or something.
Q: Why did Sonny Bono cross the road?
A: Because he was trying to ski on a mountain but he's crazy and he ended up on the road.
Q: Why did Andy Warhol cross the road?
A: Andy Warhol did a bunch of **** that made no sense. Also he wanted to have sex with a transvestite.
Q: Why did Scott Weiland cross the road?
A: Because he is a drug addict and maybe there is heroin on the other side of the road.
Q: Why did the farmer cross the road?
A: Because it's a long walk to bring the fresh produce to the market, but he's got to feed his family somehow.
Q: Why did the Native Americans cross the road?
A: It was involuntary, as they were on the Trail of Tears.
Q: Why did Bruce Springsteen cross the road?
A: Because he is an American citizen and you know what, in some countries they don't even let you cross the road.
Q: Why did Carlos Mencia cross the road?
A: Because he was escaping from the mob of people he offended with his edgy humor and sarcastic remarks.
ty dmd
(*The Noonward Race*)
08-08-2007, 03:35 AM
that night was on fiah^
Jacaranda
08-08-2007, 03:40 AM
Oh, what a night.
(*The Noonward Race*)
09-28-2007, 06:00 PM
I went thru three pages of these so called jokes. I didn't laugh once.
All of these jokes were either A. terrible. B. Made no sense, or 3. Were terribly unfunny. Yet the thread goes on???
oh jay..
MattyBlade
09-28-2007, 06:01 PM
old jokes are OLD
I didn't read any of the other jokes and not sure if i'm in the right kinda thread but I'm gonna go ahead and post a very offensive joke anyway.
What turns a fruit into a vegetable?
Aids:)
nobodyblossomsforever
09-28-2007, 06:08 PM
I didn't read any of the other jokes and not sure if i'm in the right kinda thread but I'm gonna go ahead and post a very offensive joke anyway.
What turns a fruit into a vegetable?
Aids:)
before: :-|
after: :-)
Turtle Soup
09-28-2007, 06:52 PM
i'm going to fum on you
inside old joke
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