Song a friend wrote

[GuardianDarkGuardian]

The lyrics are below, this is exactly how he wrote it.

Feathers in the wind
Red stained, battered, tattered ends
Blow on down the trail
On ground lie the fallen ones
When the wind stops
Spirits will be free too
And the feathers can fly down the trail again
Until the wind starts to blow

:confused:

[Flex of the Yellow]

Sounds more like a poem than a song, and a bit dodgy at that.
Although I do kinda get it, its odd

[GuardianDarkGuardian]

Sounds more like a poem than a song, and a bit dodgy at that.
Although I do kinda get it, its odd

ya, the structure of it is weird

[Silverhammer]

at first i thought it was about god, war, people, aimlessness, forced fate and stuff like that hen i read these lines together:

Feathers in the wind...Blow on down the trail...And the feathers can fly down the trail again...Until the wind starts to blow

now the image doesn't make much sense to me. feathers are blown down the trail by wind and not? maybe i'm viewing it the wrong way by thinking that god has a hand in this.

[GuardianDarkGuardian]

confusing, yet interesting

[ImusInTheMorning]

That was ****

[filipinorocker5115]

kinda really aimless.. the poem doesnt really point out nething I have no idea what this is about

[The_One]

I'm guessing you wrote it but aren't man enough to admit it.

It's actually a lot better than a lot of the corny crap on here.

With a good vocalist these lyrics could really make a person think.

[broken_]

i could see this being performed by a creepy native drum player

[Surf]

confusing, yet interesting

lol


Yeah its alright, but it seems too like it doesn't really go anywhere. Its not that there's not enough lines (I'd actually cut the most of the forth line), but that the lines don't explain themselves very well.

You've got a hint of an idea, something you're trying to communicate, but you try too hard to wrap it up in obscurity.

Its hard to follow because you're making alot of complicated language say very little, hence people are looking too hard into the words.

Try building on your concepts and themes, expand them and give the audience something more to hook into rather than leaving them hanging from the hint of an idea.