Movie Review Thread

[Der Übermensch]

So this thread is for, as the title says, movie reviews. I don't want it to be in the same vein as the "Last Film You Watched" thread or anything though.
This is for more indepth reviews of movies that you consider great and would recommend (movie recommendation thread could also be a title for it).
So yeah, the concept is pretty simple, just write it up and post it here.

I'll start...


Il Gattopardo (The Leopard) (1963)

This movie is directed by Luchino Visconti and stars Burt Lancaster, Alain Delon and Claudia Cardinale (three of my favorite actors). It's set in 1860's Italy during the Risorgimento and follows the fortune of the Prince of Salina (Burt) as he tries to deal with the changing political atmosphere, and his nephew Tancredi (Delon) who flirts with the revolutionaries.
The film is shot with a wonderful eye to detail and the cinematography is breathtaking, with the rich, saturated coloring that marks Italian film or the era. The outdoors shots are superb at showcasing the natural beauty of Sicily, and the indoor sets are great examples of period realism (Visconti was very nitpicky).
Admittedly, the pace of the film is a slow one, but anyone who can appreciate the photographic ascpects of cinema will hardly notice this while taking in the beautifully constructed shots. The story is an intricate one, and you may want to brush up on your history before watching.
By far one of my favorite films, I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a rewarding film experience.

[Let's Chop Cats!]

i wonder how many of these i've seen fail

[Cocaine]

KING KONG WITH SPOILERS

Alright, before I go into a tangent I’ve got to make one thing clear: I’m not gay. I love poontang and boobies. Penis? My own, maybe—but seriously, I don’t like dudes… in most cases. But, despite my screaming libido drowning in testosterone, the first thing I noticed while watching King Kong was his lack of dong. I don’t know, maybe it was cold in the jungle, but Kong didn’t appear to have any bits. Oh well, that’s just one of many faults in this movie, and believe me, they’ll all be touched upon.



Let’s start with the obviously unnecessary length of this movie. 3 hours? Jesus Christ, this may just be the most self-indulgent movie of all time, ultimately about as exciting, and lengthy, as a flight to Japan. Peter Jackson has to concede that not every project can be epic. (But the cockmaster is too enraptured by his box-sets to recognize this, and his vain efforts at making this the next LOTR instalment just comes off as largesse. Oh, and LOTR sucks Hobbit balls.) You know the parts in movies where the plot reaches a climax, the part typically accompanied by an escalating dissonance of violins? Yeah, that happens about every 15 minutes in this movie—and its self deprecating. After a fifteen-minute CGI fight sequence sprawling jagged cliffs and lush swamps as Kong defends his woman-friend against four Tyrannosaurus Rex, the closing sequence of a twenty-five foot ape atop the empire state building, being fired at and squashing fighter planes, before falling 101 stories to the crowded New York streets seems benign. (Christ--even a description requires run-on sentences). And what’s the most unbelievable aspect of both these scenes? The woman caught in the middle of these earth-shattering battles, Ann Darlow, remains unscathed—coming out of the dust without a mar on her impeccable complexion (see, told you I liked brauds), the bath robe wrapping her feminine body without a crease or scuff and tied. Boy-scouts eat your hearts out because that bitch is the queen of knots.



I never thought I’d actually hope to see bestiality, but it’s the only thing missing from this movie. Well, besides depth of course. I mean ****; this just proves Kong had no ****, because any other mammal would mount Naomi Watts. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a pervert, but as the two started to get some inter-species bonding going on—and, of course, the orchestra kicked in—I was half-expecting to see the most disgusting sex scene ever put to film.



With so many aural climaxes, you would rationally suppose some variation explore; more than a legit motif for more than three feelings: ‘happy’, ‘sad’, and ‘excited’. But no, for the three hours of film there has to be, oh, three pages of score. (Usually, nothing more than the tempo is altered to suit the mood). I guess Jackson spent all the money on his useless CGI scenes—King Kong on ice anyone?—and could only afford an hour of orchestra and recording studio time. ****ing douchebag.

Peter Jackson is not talented—he’s not even a director! There is nothing for him to direct. Half of all his movies are not filmed; his movies are made on a computer program. (Save that first zombie project, which is easily his best.) And the actors’ actual performances speak for Jackson’s capabilities, or lack thereof.



The plot and repetitive nature of the film is one thing, but Jack Black? The man does not even act! He’s just naturally eccentric and, for whatever reason, very self-assured. Oh, and his brow line in general pisses me off. And of course, he’s attached at the hip with Colin Hanks. If you’re going to include Hanks, a dance scene on an oversized keyboard really could have saved the film. No, they didn’t exist in the 1933, but neither did the WPA Federal Theatre project (it came about in 1935). As far as casting goes, I think Kyle Glass—Tenacious D’s underrated shredder—could have salvaged the flick by playing every role. Although, I do appreciate the stereotypical China Man, who’s sea wear is a kimono, and just like in real life, serves no purpose.



I’m pretty sure the cook was a San Fransico native, possiby played by Jamie from Mythbusters. Why haven’t they made a Mythbusters movie yet? Imagine the **** they could blow up/melt on a Hollywood budget…



Personally, I would have felt my money better spent if the Ape narrative thread was snipped altogether. The path Jackson went down had already been explored, and frankly, it wasn’t scenic the first time through—the 1930s version was poopty. (So is Hitchcock by modern standards. He was trailblazing, sure, but pretending to like his work in favour of more recent films does not culture you.) Why not kill off the crew in their show down with the Skull Island indigenous peoples. Those troll-like cannibals are far more interesting; seriously, I would pay to learn of their origins and survival, rather than see Jack Black as himself for an umpteenth time. So long as that badass scene where Kong rips apart the dinosaur’s jaw is some how worked in. To me, that was the film’s climax, and it figures it’s from the original.



This movie is not deserving of these one thousand-some words. It’s entertaining, but so is the faces of death series. So long as you turn you mind off along with your cell phone, and fit yourself with a catheter—it’s that long—King Kong is worth a sneak-in.

Because, honestly, what else do you have to do?

Original with no swear filter: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=7267235&blogID=75979854&Mytoken=5C0CE24F-88BA-4DCD-93624111C498ED7815606805

[CrossTheBreeze]

i wonder how many of these i've seen fail

yeah, there have been quite a few of these threads

[Zakath]

i wonder how many of these i've seen fail

300

lolol

[thedeadwalk!]

I wish this thread the best of luck. I wish the last movie thread would be like what this hopes to achieve.

This is for more indepth reviews of movies that you consider great and would recommend (movie recommendation thread could also be a title for it).

KING KONG WITH SPOILERS
Oh, and, humans have the largest penis of any primates. Gorillas, among the smallest (1.5 inches fully erect(:()).

[Der Übermensch]

i wonder how many of these i've seen fail
my expectations for success aren't very high...

[Captain Rapeface]

12 Angry Men (1957) Directed By Sidney Lumet

I love movies about hot, sweaty, angry men. The film relied heavily on dialogue and drama, and was interesting as just that, a symbolic film about the preconceptions of twelve men, a case for rational inquiry and clear-mindedness. The “not-guilty” jurors are the democrats and the “guilty” jurors are the republicans, right? It is now one of my favorite movies and one I consider to be of elevated substance.

The casting was dynamic in a way, and in a politically correct sense, un-dynamic. After all, they were all white, middle aged, and men. If I had to guess, the jurors were probably all men because of the increased notion (in the past) that women are the more irrational of thinkers, and in a film that preaches unbiased, rational, and calm deduction, the goal wouldn’t be accomplished. I for one forgive the casting of all-white and all-male jurors because of the overall symbolic emphasis of their varying backgrounds. The leader of the juror revolution is Juror #8, Henry Fonda. You can kind of see the brewing doubt in his eyes at the start of the deliberation. He is like the group’s Socrates in that he attacks and overcomes his own biases and often employs Socratic Method on others throughout the film. His case is simple: “It's always difficult to keep personal prejudice out of a thing like this. And wherever you run into it, prejudice always obscures the truth. I don't really know what the truth is… But we have a reasonable doubt, and that's something that's very valuable in our system.” Convert, with all of its derogatory use these days, I shouldn’t use, but Juror #8 converts the others to the side of un-angriness. I think that the “anger,” as mentioned in the title, is anger at something other than the murder suspect in question. The anger is the jurors’ misguided bloodlust and bias. In the end the angriest man, Juror #3, is the last to abandon his prejudice. I think the fact that his prejudice stems from his bad relation with his son shows how personal the origins of such prejudices can be. The juror beside him, Juror #4, seems to have had a strange bias. He’s a methodical man and probably highly educated judging by his dress and mannerisms. He is peculiar though because he represents that which is cold, methodical, and uncompassionate. He is like Juror #8, Davis, but lacks his initial compassion and ability to doubt what he takes accepts as knowledge, which is his flaw I suppose.

Despite being confined to a small jury room there were a variety of shots. Most were medium and close shots. The last thirty or so minutes were dominated by close-ups, sweat, and intense faces. Particularly memorable for me were Juror #4’s close-ups when having revelations about eye-glasses. He hadn’t been sweating at all during the ordeal and one juror even asked “Don’t you ever sweat?” But now he was breaking a sweat upon realizing that he in fact had a reasonable doubt. Thank goodness that he was able to come around to denouncing what he thought he knew, which is more than anyone can say for Juror #3. I think Juror #4’s change of heart was the most intense in the film because to me his opinion mattered more, it was more substantial. I wouldn’t want to look too far into it, but I think the film touches on American indifference. That is, the feelings of indifference we have in such a diverse society. This is especially so in more crowded areas with New York City being the most ideal breeding ground for stiff disconnectedness. Juror #12, the business advertisement fellow, was actually perky about getting an interesting murder case instead of a dull burglary case; he told Juror #8 that they were lucky. When Juror #8 tells Juror #7 that it isn’t to raise his hand and send a boy off to die without talking about it first, Juror #7 responds defensively: “Well now who says it’s easy?” And you can sense the pseudo-caring tone in his voice.

My favorite juror was #12 because of “let’s fly this flag up the pole and see who salutes it.” Then of course I’m fond of Fonda’s character for fighting the good fight and not having to take the hemlock for it.

[thedeadwalk!]

Juror #11: I don't believe I have to be loyal to one side or the other. I'm simply asking questions.

I wouldn't expect a post like that from someone with such a name. I love that movie too.

[Captain Rapeface]

I wouldn't expect a post like that from someone with such a name. I love that movie too.

Wtf

[Jacaranda]

lol cpt. rapeface is my new favorite user (granted he hasn't been here for ever and is on another account, but all the same).

[FA]

The Ringer...

Don't..

[Meatplow]

Grim Reaper

lol.