Dear Administration

[DeadReligion]

I tried to channel some wit here.

Dear Administration

You're wasting away your day
Your gray hair is fading.
The remaining hairs tell a story,
About the time you once had a head.

The gunshot rang out from the range,
And the bullet pierced Cheney’s friend’s face.
When a democrat did that
He got impeached.

How specific is the pacific, Mr. Bush?
Shame on who? Shame on you.
Is the tip of your tongue in a twist,
Mr. President?

Between Cheney’s trigger finger,
And Bush’s speech impediment,
I think we’re in for a long ride.

[ImusInTheMorning]

not really they lost most of their power in the last election and they'll be out in 08

thank god

[Ratmlz]

meh meh meh,im sorry,but listen don't bash polticians or celeberties or whoever using the same old thing everyone else uses,that was very orginal at all,sorry

[Surf]

I thought this was a thread asking for a new mod =/

But to be honest, I think this is too blunt. The fact that there's hardly a wisp of metaphor or simile and that Bush and Cheney are frequently name checked makes it seem too immature and unsophisticated. Like a badly written punk song; like a teenager screaming obscenities from a rooftop. Its aggressive and it conveys your point, but there's no finesse. As a political message its a subjective and opinion based thing and it conveys your meaning well.

But as a piece of literature I think it doesn't work so well. You know how to spin a metaphor, and political songs/poems that don't employ it enough sound very angsty. Its only the early imagery that keeps you from this.

[Permanent Solution]

This is rather cliche in topic. Cliche topics are ok, but I'm not usually down with approaching them so bluntly. Some lines have great flow, others seem drastically out of place. In general I think art addressed to a specific person or event is less effective and lasting than art that addresses fundamental ideas. SO in this case, rather than attacking bush and cheney directly, I think the piece would be better served to attack the ideas they represent, or what you see is wrong with their actions, rather than the actions themselves, if that makes sense.

The piece also lacks the length I think a political piece needs to drive home the point well.