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Moniker
12-09-2002, 11:55 PM
ok.. When you take a pee..


You're standing up (at least when the following happens). When you're done, you give it a little shake (or a big shake).. but NO MATTER WHAT, you always get a drip on your leg.


Is this just me? I can shake the thing until I orgasm, but as soon as I put it back in my pants.. *drip* right onto my leg.

I hope this is not just me :upset:

IHaveRickets
12-09-2002, 11:56 PM
Uhh, I think it's just you.

Julies Ruined
12-09-2002, 11:56 PM
That happens to me, too.

Maveryck
12-09-2002, 11:57 PM
i think that drip was number 1 on the list of reasons not to circumcise ;)

BRACTEN
12-09-2002, 11:58 PM
Same with me

*forces back giant penis joke*

IHaveRickets
12-09-2002, 11:59 PM
Originally posted by Julies Ruined
That happens to me, too.

Uhh, I'm guessing your parents never told you that girls are supposed to urinate sitting down.

Maveryck
12-10-2002, 12:01 AM
somebody should start a friggin poll on whether Julies Ruined is a guy or a girl.

i don't have the balls to... :upset:

Julies Ruined
12-10-2002, 12:01 AM
Originally posted by IHaveRickets
Uhh, I'm guessing your parents never told you that girls are supposed to urinate sitting down.


:eek:


:upset: Damn you mom and Dad

shoopguitarist
12-10-2002, 12:01 AM
well it happens to the best of us but you just wait until it drys and face the world

Julies Ruined
12-10-2002, 12:02 AM
Originally posted by Maveryck21
somebody should start a friggin poll on whether Julies Ruined is a guy or a girl.

i don't have the balls to... :upset:


:lol:

ikikdababy
12-10-2002, 12:03 AM
Ace Ventura seemed to think that a follow-up jiggle would take care of those errant drips.

BRACTEN
12-10-2002, 12:03 AM
Originally posted by shoopguitarist
well it happens to the best of us but you just wait until it drys and face the world

Everybody meet my rythym guitarist!

:chug:

Welcome the forum sexy!

IHaveRickets
12-10-2002, 12:03 AM
Originally posted by Maveryck21
somebody should start a friggin poll on whether Julies Ruined is a guy or a girl.

i don't have the balls to... :upset:

She's a guy. I mean he's a girl. But in all seriousness, Julies is a girl. Now stop being such a baby. :)

shoopguitarist
12-10-2002, 12:06 AM
Originally posted by BRACTEN
Everybody meet my rythym guitarist!

:chug:

Welcome the forum sexy!


yep and thats my lead guitarist he makes me sound good:lol:

fattymattk
12-10-2002, 12:06 AM
no matter how much you shake
no matter how much you dance
the last two drops go in your pants :upset:

Moniker
12-10-2002, 12:07 AM
LOL

Maveryck
12-10-2002, 12:08 AM
there's always the toilet paper solution... but that chafes like a bitch :(

shoopguitarist
12-10-2002, 12:09 AM
the thing you do is get your hands realy wet then wipe them on your pants and when you come out of the bathroom you say simply "no paper towls"

plexiglass
12-10-2002, 12:47 AM
I don't have that problem.

Jadeb
12-10-2002, 01:08 AM
The secret is to press gently upward on your gooch when you're doing peeing. It clears the pipes.

No more drip!

p3nnywi5dom
12-10-2002, 01:12 AM
yeah, i ****in hate that.
i remember i was at my girlfreinds house about to get my freak on and i had to take a leak. and when i came back in i had little drops on my boxers.
**** it looked bad.
looked like i had a little premature spooge

:(

Maveryck
12-10-2002, 01:14 AM
:lol: reminds me of the Mr. Bean movie where he splashes water on his pants and goes through hell to hide it and get it dry... one of the funniest scenes i've ever seen

XBadReligionX
12-10-2002, 01:59 AM
I'm not a guy or anything so I can't really get too deep into this thread, but why not just take a small piece of toilet paper and dab the end of your dick with it? Or maybe that hurts??? :confused: I dunno.

Maveryck
12-10-2002, 02:03 AM
i suggested that earlier. but it does chafe, and it's not really worth the effort anyway...

Julies Ruined
12-10-2002, 02:04 AM
Originally posted by Maveryck21
:lol: reminds me of the Mr. Bean movie where he splashes water on his pants and goes through hell to hide it and get it dry... one of the funniest scenes i've ever seen


Mr Bean rules. The episodes are the best. The fair one, where he has the baby. Or the News Years one and he has nothing to eat for the party so he dips little peices of tree branch into molasses. :)


Nevermind.

Moniker
12-10-2002, 02:06 AM
I remember watching Mr. Mean on the CBC before he was ever popular.

The first episode I saw was the one where he was doing the high dive in the pool.. and his pants come off.

Maveryck
12-10-2002, 02:08 AM
mmmmm, i forgot about the new years party skit. the tree branch snacks are the funniest! eew...

RRhoads2
12-10-2002, 03:53 AM
It happens to me too.

jarviss
12-10-2002, 04:02 AM
k, heres the deal
its kind of embarrasing..but what the ****...i've pretty much embarrased myself already by being the only elderly fuck who stuck it out this long...

k...pee and stuff

when i was your ages...(10yrs - 19yrs)...i would just pee like anyone else...point and shoot....
shake and put away...yeah..sure..some drips and drops got here and there..but so what...it was only jeans or toilet seats, right?

RIGHT....
so guys...just pee wherever..
if you go to the potty (LOL...thats how i gotta talk around here)
anyway...people notice you go to the bathroom...you come out with a little dark pee spot (teeny tiny spot) on your leg or crotch..

either

1. no one will notice (whos lookin there anyway)
2. if they do..they wont say anything...they'll just think
--2a. (if its a guy) "ohhhh the pee spot...nice"
--2b. (if its a girl) "dont shake hands with him"
3. if they notice and say something...its probably in a situation
where no one cares..i mean..if someones cool enuff to say
"dude..you peed on yourself..."
then you can be just as cool and say "yeah..i was aimin for your mom"
(that kind of situation)
anwyay...where was i..

oh yeah...so yeah..just pee and forget about it..

now for the :upset: part...
when you grow up and take a wife (boy..that sounds amish)
anyway..when you get married you may have to change
my wife was all "dont you wipe it?"
im like "**** NO!"
shes like "why?"
im like..."ummm i dont know..i guess i never did"
shes like" well wipe that thing"
im like *looks around...takes a bit of t.p....dabs...dabs..*
*shrugs shoulders...flushes t.p.....*
cool..i wiped it...

and it seems harmless....
until it becomes a habit...2nd nature..if you will
so when your out with your buds
and you're gettin all shitfaced....
you pull over in the middle of nowhere..."dude..i gotta piss"
"mee too! pull over"
everyone gets out and pees on the side of the road..
and you and all your NON-married friends wizz on the road..
and you "in your drunken stupor" say...
"does any of you wipe off your wiener after you pee?"

and next thing you know....you have a new nickname

:upset:

-G

so to sum up

1. just pee..and forget it
2. wipe later (if "SHE" insists)
3. dont share the info with friends (non married types)

rock on

FifthAce
12-10-2002, 04:49 AM
Hahahaha Jarviss man. . .you are so learn-ed. You're like the wise man on the mountain, except you have advice about peeing and bumsex.

To be honest, it never dawned on me that girls had to wipe either until like, last year.

Oh, and guys, you're just trying too hard. The reason you're peeing on yourself is cuz you're only relaxing everything once you holster the little guy. If you just relax your bladder muscles while you shake you shouldn't have any troubles. Unless you're actually shaking pee onto yourself, that's just bad form.

jarviss
12-10-2002, 05:00 AM
Originally posted by FifthAce
....Hahahaha Jarviss man. . .you are so learn-ed. You're like the wise man on the mountain, except you have advice about peeing and bumsex. ....

i give away all the secrets that your dads are sposed to be telllin ya.


next weeks lesson
home-made nunchaku
(num-chucks, nan-chucks, whatever..ok? sticks with a chain connecting them)
great...now i gave the secret away....

ok..new lesson for next week..i'll have to think bout it

-G

FifthAce
12-10-2002, 05:21 AM
Hmm. . .methinks backdoor advice from my father would be a tad too disturbing to really pay close attention to.

Also, I'm still waiting for someone to snag the easy Simpson's quote oppurtunity.

punkerdrummer
12-10-2002, 08:32 AM
gross, now i know that every guy i talk to has some pee on their leg :-/

Milkbull
12-10-2002, 08:33 AM
yeah I had that all the time





when i was 5

lil_drummer_girl
12-10-2002, 08:56 AM
"dude..you peed on yourself..."
then you can be just as cool and say "yeah..i was aimin for your mom"

hahahahahah.. ok i'm done :upset:

StevenHendriks
12-10-2002, 09:02 AM
sometimes i have the same, but usually a BIG shake (the one Eric mentioned)before putting it back helps me out :)

Toozey
12-10-2002, 09:37 AM
This thread is very disturbing.

SeekandDestroy
12-10-2002, 09:52 AM
lol

I got a big problem... sometimes (especially in the morning)... I will pee and it will go in two different directions before peeing normally! I always seem to get some piss on the seat or the floor. :upset: I'm a freak!


Also don't you hate when you have to pee with a boner? I literally have to stand like several feet away from the toilet and aim high! hahaha ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

m.o.d
12-10-2002, 09:59 AM
It happens when I take a shit too. There's always a little chunk of something that never got wiped away. :o

Toozey
12-10-2002, 11:18 AM
*Prints thread out and sends to a pyscologist*

BigBadBooDooDady
12-10-2002, 11:27 AM
They often go on my shoes or on the seat as well as my pants. It especially annoyys me when there is another drop that comes out INSIDE your pants, after the sword is sheathed.

m.o.d
12-10-2002, 11:31 AM
I don't know how my roommate shakes and jiggles but there is always some tinkle on the seat, the floor, and on the wall.


:/ (We could use a smiley for this expression)

lelelovesme
12-10-2002, 11:52 AM
wow i guess i'm special because that has never happened to me.

simplephotographinthesun
12-10-2002, 03:20 PM
no comment :upset:

talk show host
12-10-2002, 03:33 PM
it happens to the best of them.....i.e me.

looozer
12-10-2002, 03:53 PM
That rarely happens to me. Sometimes my pants make me feel like I have to go to the restroom when I don't :(

Has anyone got their stuff caught in the zipper?

Moniker
12-10-2002, 03:57 PM
:upset:


I have, man.

FifthAce
12-12-2002, 07:48 AM
I did. Oh my God did it hurt. My friggin' cat jumped in my bathroom window whilst I was urinating. Since I for some reason thought it was a huge thing that my cat not see my johnson, I zipped up too fast and caught the ol' boy in the denim teeth of doom. Blood and everything. . .unpleasant folks, unpleasant.

And no, I didn't put a lot of thought into the fact that it was just my stupid cat, who probably could care less about my stuff. . .I panicked alright?

Moniker
12-12-2002, 02:09 PM
WOAH! You had blood? I feel bad for you :upset:

reckoningday454
12-12-2002, 02:13 PM
I did. Oh my God did it hurt. My friggin' cat jumped in my bathroom window whilst I was urinating. Since I for some reason thought it was a huge thing that my cat not see my johnson, I zipped up too fast and caught the ol' boy in the denim teeth of doom. Blood and everything. . .unpleasant folks, unpleasant. ow

sixtynine
12-12-2002, 02:20 PM
hey, me too. don't feel bad.....it'll make me feel worse.

D!nandtott!
12-12-2002, 02:26 PM
Originally posted by FifthAce
I did. Oh my God did it hurt. My friggin' cat jumped in my bathroom window whilst I was urinating. Since I for some reason thought it was a huge thing that my cat not see my johnson, I zipped up too fast and caught the ol' boy in the denim teeth of doom. Blood and everything. . .unpleasant folks, unpleasant.

And no, I didn't put a lot of thought into the fact that it was just my stupid cat, who probably could care less about my stuff. . .I panicked alright?

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black Ink
12-12-2002, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by m.o.d
It happens when I take a shit too. There's always a little chunk of something that never got wiped away. :o

Its called a dingleberry, just to let you know.

_T_am_A_
12-12-2002, 02:34 PM
this thread is hilarious

but you see..to minimize the need to intense shaking, simply apply back pressure from the prostate schlong area



what? i couldnt resist

LordDarky
12-12-2002, 03:34 PM
Just you

crazyman
12-12-2002, 04:41 PM
you know whats funny

when your buddy goes to use the urinal, right when he starts pissing, shake him

he gets piss everywhere its hilarious :lol:

DoktorShred
12-13-2002, 12:08 PM
dude its all about the gravity, point it downwards and shake and youll be fine. Also dont grip it too tight, or it will stop the flow.

DoktorShred
12-13-2002, 12:11 PM
Originally posted by FifthAce
I did. Oh my God did it hurt. My friggin' cat jumped in my bathroom window whilst I was urinating. Since I for some reason thought it was a huge thing that my cat not see my johnson, I zipped up too fast and caught the ol' boy in the denim teeth of doom. Blood and everything. . .unpleasant folks, unpleasant.

And no, I didn't put a lot of thought into the fact that it was just my stupid cat, who probably could care less about my stuff. . .I panicked alright?

ow i feel for you. Once i was on a hike (duke of edinbourough award thing) and i walked solid in combat trousers for 2 days of the hike, commando style :(. There was severe rubbing, rawness and blood by the end i can tell you.

DoktorShred
12-13-2002, 12:18 PM
Originally posted by FifthAce
I did. Oh my God did it hurt. My friggin' cat jumped in my bathroom window whilst I was urinating. Since I for some reason thought it was a huge thing that my cat not see my johnson, I zipped up too fast and caught the ol' boy in the denim teeth of doom. Blood and everything. . .unpleasant folks, unpleasant.

And no, I didn't put a lot of thought into the fact that it was just my stupid cat, who probably could care less about my stuff. . .I panicked alright?

ow i feel for you. Once i was on a hike (duke of edinbourough award thing) and i walked solid in combat trousers for 2 days of the hike, commando style :(. There was severe rubbing, rawness and blood by the end i can tell you.

Moniker
12-13-2002, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by DoktorShred
dude its all about the gravity, point it downwards and shake and youll be fine. Also dont grip it too tight, or it will stop the flow. Trust me.. I've shaken it to the point that some would consider it masturbation.. there is ALWAYS a drip :upset:

Toozey
12-13-2002, 02:33 PM
The power of Toilet paper is amazing.

p3nnywi5dom
12-13-2002, 02:34 PM
haha, one of my friends is so god **** lazy, he sits down to piss
:lol:

Toozey
12-13-2002, 02:36 PM
:upset: Dont say that.

p3nnywi5dom
12-13-2002, 02:39 PM
haha
and one of my other freinds cant wipe his *** with toilet paper more than half gone.
he will only use the first half cause its more 'fluffy, and comfortable' and the half gone **** is 'packed together and insensitive'

what a fag
:lol:

Toozey
12-13-2002, 02:40 PM
:lol:

Steeve Wuu
12-13-2002, 03:57 PM
if you have loose underpants, the odds are against you, it will make a drip if not correctly shaken. and for tight underpants, that drip gets absorbed by the material, and if its white, it wont go away until you pay them a trip into the washer.

just shake it, then bring all the skin to the end, another drop will appear, do this couple of time and you wont have problems.

as for paper rubbing, i can't picture myself at school walking my dick facing everyone as i am going and getting toilet paper, cause there are always less toilets then there are ( *ignores the english name for* those stand up wall sticking things )

Necronomicon
12-13-2002, 06:38 PM
Urinals, Mr. Wuu.

Someone said something about peeing with a boner...ech...every once in a while I wake up in the morning and gotta go, and it ends up I'm about 3 feet from the toilet bent over in some akward position just to make it in the bowl.

sadisticmonkey
12-13-2002, 07:08 PM
lol dont say boner...thats terrible

denboy
12-13-2002, 07:23 PM
Originally posted by p3nnywi5dom
haha, one of my friends is so god **** lazy, he sits down to piss
:lol:


Hey what's wrong with that? :upset:

Steeve Wuu
12-13-2002, 07:35 PM
Originally posted by sadisticmonkey
lol dont say boner...thats terrible

make sure no one is arround, but it works :

lay at horizontal on the toilet ( make sure to drop the cover ) and piss this way, it goes really well, but ****, don't say it was my idea

kida
12-13-2002, 07:43 PM
i might start buying adult nappy(english term)/diaper(yank term) its alot quicker more convenient and drips.......... what drips



Originally posted by Necronomicon
Urinals, Mr. Wuu.

Someone said something about peeing with a boner...ech...every once in a while I wake up in the morning and gotta go, and it ends up I'm about 3 feet from the toilet bent over in some akward position just to make it in the bowl.

funny cause its true

LTD
12-13-2002, 07:51 PM
I always piss all over my pants cause i cant aim. no, jk. i get like a drop sometimes. Ever try topee while hes bigger? You have to start close and move back or you piss all over the wall. lol

cods
12-13-2002, 08:01 PM
no matter how long i wait, the moment i put it back, a little comes out.

PimpDaddyKabZ
12-13-2002, 08:03 PM
it happens......not all the time.....

but we're still luckier than girls when it comes to peeing

Steeve Wuu
12-13-2002, 08:08 PM
i have also realized that my woodys remain until i get up on my feet.

anyone else?

Misfitted_Mecha
12-13-2002, 08:09 PM
oh my god this thread is halarious cause all these things happen to me.
I hate waking up with a boner cause i gotta piss really bad, and then i go and urine just flys all over the place! on the counter, in the sink, its crazy! since i wear boxers theres no real support to prevent that drip from coming down so it goes on my leg and i just kinda ignore it. One time in gym class i took a piss in the locker room before i went out, and then we ran the mile and piss is all over the place but i run faster so it dries, fortunately nobody noticed. Also i hate when im masturbating and i gotta take a piss cause i think im gonna piss all over myself, and then right when i ejaculate i gotta piss....ok enough of my problems

idrathabeplayinguitar
12-13-2002, 08:34 PM
haha this is great and what was this about some guy who pissed like two ways?? haha wonder what that looks like...

Moniker
12-13-2002, 08:42 PM
Originally posted by Misfitted_Mecha
oh my god this thread is halarious cause all these things happen to me.
I hate waking up with a boner cause i gotta piss really bad, and then i go and urine just flys all over the place! on the counter, in the sink, its crazy! since i wear boxers theres no real support to prevent that drip from coming down so it goes on my leg and i just kinda ignore it. One time in gym class i took a piss in the locker room before i went out, and then we ran the mile and piss is all over the place but i run faster so it dries, fortunately nobody noticed. Also i hate when im masturbating and i gotta take a piss cause i think im gonna piss all over myself, and then right when i ejaculate i gotta piss....ok enough of my problems


hahaha, yes.. EVERY TIME I masturbate, I have to pee, right after..


lol, has anyone ever had a bit of 'fluid' left on the tip.. then when you do go pee, your pee is split off into two directions..

Then you panic, because you don't know which to aim.

:lol: :upset: :lol: :upset:

idrathabeplayinguitar
12-13-2002, 08:43 PM
not that i wanna see it...

Necronomicon
12-13-2002, 11:00 PM
Originally posted by Litninfingers63
hahaha, yes.. EVERY TIME I masturbate, I have to pee, right after..

It's kinda odd, that happens to me too. I figured out that it's usually not a good idea to ignore it...heh.

SGR300Bassist
12-13-2002, 11:52 PM
i've had times (yeah, more than once) where i get a whopping 3 different streams at the same time. by the time i estimate which is shooting the most and aim that particular one in the toilet, it all straightens out and i end up pissing full force onto the floor.

ohh the novelty of the wang.

Black Ink
12-14-2002, 01:01 AM
I think pissing after the monkey spits happens every time just to clean out the pipes so new sailors can get shipped in later. I read that but it was in different terms.

p3nnywi5dom
12-14-2002, 03:25 AM
ahhh yes the split pee
looks like the spray from windshield washer fluid
:lol:

fattymattk
12-14-2002, 03:35 AM
I thought I was the only one :upset:

Maveryck
12-14-2002, 03:39 AM
who wants split pee soup?

fattymattk
12-14-2002, 03:42 AM
I do

*pours two bowls at once*

Moniker
12-14-2002, 03:44 AM
hjahahahahah


Bed time, guys. Later

Maveryck
12-14-2002, 03:47 AM
good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!


*anticipates overwhelming demand for split pee soup*

*gets ready to put litnin's hand in a cup of warm water to satisfy this demand*

*realises saying that was not a good idea*

:upset:

instrument
12-14-2002, 04:17 AM
*goes to pee*

LTD
12-14-2002, 01:01 PM
Peeing with a boner is a bitch. LOL. I hate morning wood.

DoktorShred
12-14-2002, 02:38 PM
Originally posted by Necronomicon
It's kinda odd, that happens to me too. I figured out that it's usually not a good idea to ignore it...heh.

Have you ever had a serpent? Its where you get a forked piss cos of a bead of lodged spadge.

EADG
12-14-2002, 07:29 PM
You have to lift up on it to get the drops out.

m.o.d
12-14-2002, 07:31 PM
omg this thread is getting weird. :-X

*doesn't say what he would usually say because he doesn't want people to see what he would have said*

Moniker
12-14-2002, 07:33 PM
Originally posted by LTD
Peeing with a boner is a bitch. LOL. I hate morning wood. haha, boner pissing sucks.

You have to like,... bend all funny :-/


:upset:

FifthAce
12-14-2002, 10:00 PM
AGH! ****ing reset form button. Anyway, if I have morning wood, I just stand five feet away from the toilet and walk forward as the pressure lessens.

Also, I'm "au-naturale" (uncircumcised) so I have pretty bad aim as a result of that. . .meh. I guess there's just more to disrupt the stream of pee. (Or pee of stream, as Mike Einziger would say. . .anyone actually get that?)

FATSAM
12-14-2002, 10:59 PM
hmmmmm i love drinkin my piss and lickin my sperm

Drunkoffyourkiss
12-14-2002, 11:04 PM
Originally posted by FATSAM
hmmmmm i love drinkin my piss and lickin my sperm

go away.

Moniker
12-14-2002, 11:07 PM
Originally posted by FifthAce
AGH! ****ing reset form button. Anyway, if I have morning wood, I just stand five feet away from the toilet and walk forward as the pressure lessens.
hahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I forgot about that trick!

Man, that works like a charm, as long as you measure up how bad you have to go with how far to stand back...

FifthAce
12-15-2002, 12:40 AM
Sure, you end up peeing on either the floor or the back of the toilet seat, but it's still less awkward than the "I can't think of a good description of the position" you have to take otherwise.

fattymattk
12-15-2002, 12:44 AM
sometimes I kneel in front of the toilet when I have a wood. It really helps.

:upset:

DeAd_SeNTiNaL
12-15-2002, 12:46 AM
I find basically doing a pushup infront of the toilet is best :upset:

edit:...i meant over:o

Vegetable Man
05-08-2003, 05:26 PM
That happens to me too, you're not alone