Why do we hide sex from kids?

[-1up!-]

I often addressed, in times of thought, a matter which derives, for some, of a puritan (retarded?) morality, for others of common sense. As far as I'm concerned it stems from an old judeo-christian puritanism so deeply ingrained that it seems radical to even question it. Why do we hide sex from kids? The sexual act is a fundamental part of our human nature, like reasoning and eating; it proves to be a vital need, not for the individual, but for the human species as a whole. Hiding sex can only be explained by an unconscious shame of the most bestial (hence the most natural) drive inherent in us; I question the motives of that shame. Can any good come from actively hiding kids from seeing (or hearing about, in extreme cases) sex, except easing the mind of moral puritans? Healthy sexual behavior (I'm here referring to battling AIDS and the like) is primarily achieved by an exhaustive and complete sexual education, certainly NOT by keeping the taboos that surround the sexual act and teaching that sex is somehow either sacred or sinful. In that sense, is it justified to maintain the taboos surrounding sex, in my opinion justified more by the zeal of moral puritans and social conservatives of preserving the status quo than from an actual desire to set humans in harmony with their profound nature?

[coe]

I'm with you on sexual education and that we do too much to hide them from something everyone faces at least once in their lives. It's a bit retarded and doesn't do anyone any good.

[Mr. Ron]

Sexual education is the key to making responsible kids. Making sex the new "boogey man" isn't helping at all.

[TojesDolan]

Because procreation is morally wrong according to religions.

[ringworm]

Because anything that brings us so much pleasure is the work of the DEVIL :)

Good post btw

If subjects are freely discussed between parents & children & dont get labled with so much Taboo, half the problems we have now would be a thing of the past or no big deal.

[PerpetualBurn]

Normally the comparison, and I hate to drag it up, is given to how permissive we are on the subject of violence compared to sex.

The distinction I think can be made by the fact that children can usually see and comprehend the negative consequences of violence. Usually when children see violence it is performed with negative consequences that are unlikely to be copied. For instance, in Tom and Jerry the agressor is always seen to come off worse.

This is obviously very different to the realities of sex. Sex has few obviously problematic consequences to children. People tend to deal better with immediate consequences. And, the reality is, since most adults have regular sex without negative consequences and this makes it difficult to rationalise to kids why they should avoid it.

[Jharaski]

Because there's no reason for a five year old to know what sex is, unless they actually encounter it. Then they should know what it is.

Edit - I don't consider 10 year olds to be "kids" and therefor think that sex should not be hidden from them.

[Sroji]

Because sex is animalistic, you basically don't need much thought to do it. Things aren't like they once were before broadcasted images, radio, the internet, etc., which is why we step up to shield kids from them. We teach kids to apply thought to sex now, and they must be of a certain age to apply that thought.

[peeted]

I don't personally think sex should be hidden from children (at least not as much as it is), but i think that people don't see children as being able to think abstractly enough to be able to deal with the emotional and psychological implications of sex. Its introduced to them slowly (in most cases any way) slowly as they develop their ability for abstract thought.

[MegaPhony]

Kids learn by example.
If kids think it makes you 'cool' and 'look older' to have sex, they will do it.
The same reason why we don't tell children about alcohol, smoking, drugs.
Children don't really think about future consequences as much as 'i want to feel good now'.

[anticipatious_phoenix]

I knew what sex was when I was young...I was 6 I guess. I think it's good for kids to understand where they came from. Sex isn't a bad thing, but it shouldn't be encouraged for the teenage years either. I don't understand why it's treated like some big secret.

[uhhyeah]

The Puritans weren't as moral in their actions as you may think.

Anyways, lying to teenagers about sex accomplishes nothing.

[Chrysostom]

Because procreation is morally wrong according to religions.

Not quite. Procreation is a good thing in most religions, especially Catholicism. It is the carnal, physical pleasure which is morally wrong. We should do it, but not enjoy it.

Sex shouldn't be hidden from kids. The more they know, the more effectively they can judge for themselves when to take that step. I mean, looks at the Netherlands and most of the Scandinavian countries - they're sex ed is very thorough and yet they have some of the lowest teen pregnancy rates in Europe.

One thing that the social conservatives seem to forget is that teens are naturally mischievous. You tell them not to do something, or that it's bad, or keep it shrouded in mystery and they want to do it all the more. I mean...Catholic school girls anyone?

[coe]

I went to a Catholic school and none of the women turned out slutty.

[Chrysostom]

I went to a Catholic school and none of the women turned out slutty.

Well, I only put that in there as a half-joke. I say 'half-joke' because such stereotypes wouldn't exist if they didn't have a grain of truth contained within them.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Because there's no reason for a five year old to know what sex is, unless they actually encounter it. Then they should know what it is.

Edit - I don't consider 10 year olds to be "kids" and therefor think that sex should not be hidden from them.

agreed.

as you said, kids should start learning about sex a couple of years or so before puberty.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

I go to a Catholic School and some of the girls in our year are slutty.

I think sex should be introduced to kids at around the age 9, when they're old enough to understand what it is, but young enough so that they have enough time to make up their minds fully about the moral and psychological effects of having sex at an early age, before they actually do it. But that's being kind of near-sighted, seeing as I learnt about sex on the playground when I was 7. :/

[MrConeman]

I generally agree. If we teach kids well and obviously keep the whole consent age thing going, I'm all for letting them know, keeping it from them is retarded.

My only qualm is the more they know about it at a younger age, the more they want to do it at a younger age, although with 13 year old mothers in the world, really, how much worse can it get.

[sweboy]

Why not just tattoo some instructions and general information onto the genitals of all male newborns?

[Chrysostom]

My only qualm is the more they know about it at a younger age, the more they want to do it at a younger age, although with 13 year old mothers in the world, really, how much worse can it get.

I'm not really sure that's a genuine concern. My junior school had sex ed for me when I was nine or ten and the idea of actually carrying out what I'd just been taught never occurred to me.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

I'm pretty sure you need to have sex hormones to have a sex drive, and thereby feel the need (or desire) to have sex. Or maybe I'm just a moron.

[YDtoad]

I go to a Catholic School and some of the girls in our year are slutty.

I think sex should be introduced to kids at around the age 9, when they're old enough to understand what it is, but young enough so that they have enough time to make up their minds fully about the moral and psychological effects of having sex at an early age, before they actually do it. But that's being kind of near-sighted, seeing as I learnt about sex on the playground when I was 7. :/

Enough time to make up their minds? Dude, they're 9, it's not like they have remotely formed logical compass', not at all able to even ponder what it is to give up one's virginity.

[CrossTheBreeze]

although with 13 year old mothers in the world, really, how much worse can it get.
you say that like it's something new.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

Enough time to make up their minds? Dude, they're 9, it's not like they have remotely formed logical compass', not at all able to even ponder what it is to give up one's virginity.


Yeah but they're not going to be having sex until they're roughly 12 (at the absolute least), and they'll have time to think it over and they'll actually know what they'll be doing when they get to it.

[YDtoad]

Yeah and anyway how much worse could it get: 13 year old mother of a crackbaby :thumb:

Even worse than that: 12 year old mother of a crackbaby.



Yeah but they're not going to be having sex until they're roughly 12 (at the absolute least), and they'll have time to think it over and they'll actually know what they'll be doing when they get to it.


They shouldn't be having sex when they're 12 either.

[CrossTheBreeze]

I'm pretty sure you need to have sex hormones to have a sex drive, and thereby feel the need (or desire) to have sex. Or maybe I'm just a moron.

The first time I had sex ed I was about ten. At the time I could not help but laugh my *** off every time the teacher said penis or vagina, but I had no desire to have sex with a woman.


I did want to see naked since the age of 7 however.

[italic zero]

zero shut up and leave

[CrossTheBreeze]

zero shut up and leave

ummm... are you talking to me.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

They shouldn't be having sex when they're 12 either.

I know they shouldn't, but at least they are fully aware of sex and all of it's implications before then, so they can make up their own minds as to whether they do or don't.

[coe]

I didn't know that improvements made to sexual education forced more preteens to use crack.

[YDtoad]

I know they shouldn't, but at least they are fully aware of sex and all of it's implications before then, so they can make up their own minds as to whether they do or don't.

My point is that even at 12, even at 14, they are emotionally incapable of making a mature decision. Which is one of the reason we ban pedophilia relationships.

[coe]

They shouldn't have sex when they're 12 and 13, but it still happens.

[CrossTheBreeze]

My point is that even at 12, even at 14, they are emotionally incapable of making a mature decision. Which is one of the reason we ban pedophilia relationships.

uh, what?

[YDtoad]

Do you need smaller words? :evil: :D

[Akira]

uh, what?

He is saying that having sex with minors is illegal because as kids people are not mature enough to fully comprehend what they are getting into by having sex.

[YDtoad]

Akira to the rescue. I'd rep you if my rep on this account didn't amount to jack squat.

[black guy]

My point is that even at 12, even at 14, they are emotionally incapable of making a mature decision. Which is one of the reason we ban pedophilia relationships.

what do you propose be done to keep 14 year old from knowing the existence of sex?

[JumpTheF**kUp]

But to be honest, people don't fully understand what they're getting into until either after they've had sex for the first time, or if they pass the age of about 18 or 19, whichever comes first.

[YDtoad]

what do you propose be done to keep 14 year old from knowing the existence of sex?

I'm just pointing out that they're incapable of making a mature, fully comprehended decision.

So now I'm going to get not-so-serious and a little far out:
Natural selection. Teach abstinence and those who are stupid enough to engage in careless sex are the less intelligent lower end of the gene pool and will have a higher chance of catching STD's, some of which virtually preclude giving birth, thus cutting them off from the gene pool.


But to be honest, people don't fully understand what they're getting into until either after they've had sex for the first time, or if they pass the age of about 18 or 19, whichever comes first.


A 12 year old who just had sex for the first time still doesn't understand it anymore than another immature 12 year old.

There's a huge difference between teaching sex ed to high school sophomores on up and elementary school kids :o

[black guy]

So now I'm going to get not-so-serious and a little far out:
Natural selection. Teach abstinence and those who are stupid enough to engage in careless sex are the less intelligent lower end of the gene pool and will have a higher chance of catching STD's, some of which virtually preclude giving birth, thus cutting them off from the gene pool.

uhh if people just go off having unprotected sex its just going to result in more babies. you're not cutting anybody off from the gene pool.

teaching kids to use protection is much better.

[YDtoad]

uhh if people just go off having unprotected sex its just going to result in more babies.

More babies, yes. Also more STD's to preclude future babies.

teaching kids to use protection is much better.

I think teaching kids to not have sex till they're at least in a committed relationship is better :p

[CrossTheBreeze]

He is saying that having sex with minors is illegal because as kids people are not mature enough to fully comprehend what they are getting into by having sex.

I understood what he said there (jeez I don't have the reading ability of a 4 year old). I thought he was saying there is something wrong with teaching children about sex before hand

[JumpTheF**kUp]

A 12 year old who just had sex for the first time still doesn't understand it anymore than another immature 12 year old.

That's actually a really good point.

[YDtoad]

I understood what he said there (jeez I don't have the reading ability of a 4 year old). I thought he was saying there is something wrong with teaching children about sex before hand

Depends what you mean by children. I think the notion of teaching a 9 year old about sex is ridiculous.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Depends what you mean by children. I think the notion of teaching a 9 year old about sex is ridiculous.

How is that ridiculous? I learned about blowjobs and how to have sex from classmates at the age of eight.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

I think that underage sex stems from underage drinking tbh.


^^ so did I CTB

[YDtoad]

How is that ridiculous? I learned about blowjobs and how to have sex from classmates at the age of eight.

Well that's not a good thing :lol:


I think that underage sex stems from underage drinking tbh.


I guarantee you that a significant portion of accounts of people, particularly girls, losing their virginity at a younger age, involves alcohol. Lowers inhibitions.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

Omg someone agrees with me.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Well that's not a good thing :lol:
It's better if adults educate kids about sex. Kids should not be educating kids.

.......... and it's not like I'm the only person in the world who learned about it that early.

[YDtoad]

Children tend to talk about many things that they are incapable of fully grasping or maturely pondering. That doesn't mean adults need to bring them into what is fundamentally adult territory as soon as they first hear "sex" somehow and start talking about it on the playground.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Children tend to talk about many things that they are incapable of fully grasping or maturely pondering. That doesn't mean adults need to bring them into what is fundamentally adult territory as soon as they first hear "sex" somehow and start talking about it on the playground.

It is important for the adult to make sense of what the children are hearing at school. Just because you tell a 9 year old about sex doesn't make them want to engage in sexual activity.

and unfortuanately you can't stop the kids from telling each other about what big brother or big sister told them about.

[coe]

But there comes a time where little lessons on how premarital sex is bad doesn't suffice, and you need to tell them how to handle their business when they're in those situations. I don't encourage kids that are underage to have sex, but it happens so we might as well teach them how to practice safe sex.

[italic zero]

knowledge is a good thing

[coe]

It really is.

[CrossTheBreeze]

But there comes a time where little lessons on how premarital sex is bad doesn't suffice, and you need to tell them how to handle their business when they're in those situations. I don't encourage kids that are underage to have sex, but it happens so we might as well teach them how to practice safe sex.

yes, exactly.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

I think teaching kids to be more responsible with alcohol will reduce underage sex more than anything esle.

[CrossTheBreeze]

I think teaching kids to be more responsible with alcohol will reduce underage sex more than anything esle.

uhhh... could you please elaborate.

[Nick]

I think a major problem here is that people mature at different rates

So blanket restrictions or guidelines don't really work too well

[CrossTheBreeze]

I think a major problem here is that people mature at different rates

So blanket restrictions or guidelines don't really work too well

yes, I guess that is true.

I think ages 9 or 10 are good ages to talk to kids about sex though.

[peeted]

Its like alcohol in the way that if you introduce kids to it at an early age but actually educate them about it theres no longer the sense of mystery about it and its much less of a pandora's box, and that's half the temptation to get into sexual relationships early. (I'm not saying sex at any age is necessarily wrong but much like anything else were there is debate over weather it is harmful its better to be well informed of both sides before making a decision)

[coe]

My parents let me have my first beer at a young age because they felt the same way, and now I hardly ever drink when I'm at parties with my friends. Like maybe once every so often I'll have one, but that's about it.

[Danger Bird]

Well, I don't agree with some of the things (sex is nowhere near a vital human function, some people go their whole lives in celibacy), but for the most part I agree that the taboo on sex is quite ridiculous and sex is a beautiful thing.

[pedro durruti]

My parents let me have my first beer at a young age because they felt the same way, and now I hardly ever drink when I'm at parties with my friends. Like maybe once every so often I'll have one, but that's about it.
Yeah but that isn't the same for everyone. If it were, no one would be getting drunk in Europe.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Well, I don't agree with some of the things (sex is nowhere near a vital human function, some people go their whole lives in celibacy), but for the most part I agree that the taboo on sex is quite ridiculous and sex is a beautiful thing.
anyone who is some how able to go their entire lives in celibacy is probably pretty ****ed up to begin with.

[shaqadelic]

anyone who is some how able to go their entire lives in celibacy is probably pretty ****ed up to begin with.

Tell that to the current President of India.

[CrossTheBreeze]

Tell that to the current President of India.

I'm sorry you're going to have to enlighten me.

[shaqadelic]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdul_Kalam

He practices celibacy and is very far from being ****ed up. Not to mention he is a brilliant person.

[CrossTheBreeze]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abdul_Kalam

He practices celibacy and is very far from being ****ed up. Not to mention he is a brilliant person.

ah, I see. I suppose that was an ignorant thing for me to say.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

anyone who is some how able to go their entire lives in celibacy is probably pretty ****ed up to begin with.

The Pope begs to differ...

[-1up!-]

The Pope begs to differ...

How ****ed up do you have to be to be the Pope, though?

[lunchforthesky]

Its funny how a man who has never even had sex thinks he has right to tell us how we should be having it.

[coe]

My pope told me not to have sex until I'm married.

[Danger Bird]

As long as you don't go around saying sex is the root of all evil, celibacy can be a purifying and important religious practice, whether permanent or temporary.

I think we hide sex from kids because we don't want them having it, and even if this fails in practicality, people just can't bring themselves to break the traditional way of teaching kids.

[coe]

But if tradition does nothing to keep children from ending up in situations we're trying to prevent from happening, obviously there's something wrong with our current method and we need to look to some alternatives.

[Volumnius Flush]

Kids don't even hide sex from themselves. Grow up people! A girl who thinks she's mature enough at 12 to have sex, though she may not be ready, there should be no reason society excludes consensual sex no matter how old the adult is. The problem is with pedophiles who will take advantage of society's trust.

[Devil's Reject]

I went to a Catholic school and none of the women turned out slutty.

WOW!Catholic school girls are sluts.I should know.I went to and dated some of them.

[Chrysostom]

Kids don't even hide sex from themselves. Grow up people! A girl who thinks she's mature enough at 12 to have sex, though she may not be ready, there should be no reason society excludes consensual sex no matter how old the adult is. The problem is with pedophiles who will take advantage of society's trust.

That's a remarkably progressive and liberal point of view for you to hold. Are you feeling OK?

[Mr. Ron]

lol

[RNR]

Why hide sex from kids? I say HAVE sex with kids :D!




Ok, maybe not.

[Auberge le Mouton Noir]

Kids don't even hide sex from themselves. Grow up people! A girl who thinks she's mature enough at 12 to have sex, though she may not be ready, there should be no reason society excludes consensual sex no matter how old the adult is. The problem is with pedophiles who will take advantage of society's trust.

Which is great until i consider your other belifs and realise you're just some crazy texan who wants to be able to marry a 12 year old.

[coe]

WOW!Catholic school girls are sluts.I should know.I went to and dated some of them.

I think I'd know more about the girls that were in my graduating class than you would, and I already said that almost none of them were sluts or became sluts.

[RNR]

You kept tabs on the personal lives of all of the girls in your graduating class? That's a little creepy.

And Frank Zappa says that catholic girls rule and suggests that they like to do stuffs :naughty:

[coe]

You can never have too much wank material.

[RNR]

Well said.

[The Digital Pimp]

Why do we hide sex from kids?

Um, we don't. Check out some preteen magazines and turn on your TV.

[bleep_bloop]

Um, we don't. Check out some preteen magazines and turn on your TV.

um, yes we do. just turn on your tv; look at how much violence is allowed to be aired in contrast to the amount of naked bodies that you see on tv(im talking about the regular channels, not stuff you have to pay for). what would you rather have your kids see, a naked body, or some guy getting shot? i personally would rather have my kid see a naked body, i mean, its just a body, its natural, and everybody has one.

[JumpTheF**kUp]

In the immortal words of South Park:

Randy Marsh: You see, Token, when a man and a woman really love each other, the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina. It's called 'making love,' and its normal.
Token: And when the woman has 4 penises in her, and then stands above the guys and pees on them, is that love making? Five midgets beating a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that love making?


It's basically the same thing, but the percentage of sex/nudity portrayed in film and movies that's actually tasteful is low.

[TheOpethAffinity]

Why hide sex from kids? I say HAVE sex with kids :D!




Ok, maybe not.

ugh

[badtaste]

In the immortal words of South Park:

Randy Marsh: You see, Token, when a man and a woman really love each other, the man puts his penis into the woman's vagina. It's called 'making love,' and its normal.
Token: And when the woman has 4 penises in her, and then stands above the guys and pees on them, is that love making? Five midgets beating a man covered in Thousand Island dressing. Is that love making?


It's basically the same thing, but the percentage of sex/nudity portrayed in film and movies that's actually tasteful is low.

DVDA

We don't hide sex from kids. We just don't give them information about it. Do kids need to know about sex at a very early age? Mathematics and spelling > sex (at that age).

[spitfirejunky]

The same reason we don't teach kids calculus. They simply won't understand it, and there's no need to confuse them with it until they've understood more about the world.

When puberty is just about to hit them, that would probably be a good time to bring it up.

[Kaleid]

The same reason we don't teach kids calculus. They simply won't understand it, and there's no need to confuse them with it until they've understood more about the world.

When puberty is just about to hit them, that would probably be a good time to bring it up.
True. Also, we should want kids to retain a sense of innocence as long as possible. Why introduce them to details about sex when they could be learning to draw, play music, ride bikes etc? If they're curious about a word or idea they've heard in the schoolyard, it should be explained in the simplest of terms that the child can understand. If they don't ask, the only time to talk about it is right before puberty.

[Mr. Ron]

I think as long as we have sex ed calsses at the apropriate levels in school and be totally honest with our children about sex and not sugar coat it, they'll be fine.

[ringworm]

its got to be better for kids to know the effects of sex, good & bad (STD, pregnacy, pleasure etc.) instead of shielding them so they dont have a clue what COULD happen, beacuse they are most likely going to have sex anyway

[Mr. Ron]

It was pretty crazy in my old highscool. 7th and 8th graders were going at it like rabbits. They had orgies ffs.

[ringworm]

I was agreeing with youur above post, was ^^^ just meant for humor or did you misread mine? :)

[Mr. Ron]

Oh I wasn't even commenting about your post I was just making another comment. :)

[ringworm]

LOL, gotcha :thumb:

[DBoons Ghost]

Irresponsible sexual encounters can have grave results as we all know. We've never handled sexual education well, nor have we done well to find the lessons from accountability and responsiblity for what we've done. That's because of the religious ignorance. Don't have sex because you will go to hell. Hahah. Yeah ok. It's funny to me that people who generally establish policy and curriculum seemingly either forgot they were kids, or were raised in a vaccuum and forgot that anything you tell a kid is bad, they will do simply because.

Parents are horrible at teaching their children about sex and what the true results of irresponsible sexual encouters are. My mom told me sex was evil when I was 11. By 12 I got laid. Why? Evil was cool when you were 12. Tell me I'm wrong. If it was so evil, why does everyone enjoy it so much?

Kids should learn as puberty comes so they know what to expect both emotionally and mentally. Before that it's pointless as they won't even know what you're teaching them because they can't feel it or understand it.

[Steerpike]

I agree with the sentiment that we need proper, thorough sex education for adolescents. If children younger than that ask a question, what reason do we have to give them anything except the truth?

I remember first learning what gay people were when I was in second grade. At that point, I had no idea what any of the **** the fifth graders were talking about meant, nor did I really care. However, I heard about homosexuality and my reaction was literally, "Huh... Okay then. When's Ninja Turtles gonna be on?"

Children aren't nearly as stupid as people seem to think they are. You give them a straightforward answer, and they'll probably be cool with it. There's no need to go into the gory details, just so long as the essential truth is still there.

In regards to abstinence-only education, it doesn't work. It just doesn't. Trying to teach adolescents not to **** just because is like trying to teach a wolf not to crave meat.

I want to see if I can find that study that showed that the majority of teenagers who had abstinence-only education were dramatically more likely to have oral and anal. That is perhaps the most hilarious irony ever to slap the morals and values crowd right upside their Bible thumping faces.

[Mr. Ron]

Seriously. I remember when I was first going through puberty I'd get a bone every other minute, and the chick that was "blossoming" early was the focus of all my thoughts during school.:lol:

So yeah, abstinence is retarded and unpractical for kids at any age.