Happiness Is The Tragedy

[DeadReligion]

You know what'd be cool? If we could have signatures.

Happiness Is The Tragedy

“I love you,” were his last words to him
Before he fell into a deep sleep.
No, not death, just fatigue.
And the stars in their eyes, were perfectly aligned.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put two men together.

She put her hands around her waist,
And kissed her on the lips.
And held her, ever, so gently.
Their love drips, freely from every pore.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put two women together.

Your hate, and your vicious placards, won’t stop a thing.
If showing love means breaking the law, then so be it.
You can scream at us through one corner of your mouth,
And tell your kids to stop having sex with the other.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put us together.

You can tell your constituents all humans matter.
And then use your pocket bible to justify hating us.
Maybe one day you can teach me,
To be as hypocritical as thee, and not get caught.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put us together.

The newscaster can breeze through a hate crime,
“Homosexuals sodomized and beaten behind a club, and now sports,”
And say, that they’re fair and balanced.

Happiness is the tragedy…

[Eliminator]

you know what would be cool?

not posting songs in black font every time.

[DeadReligion]

What color would you prefer? It's just, I changed the skin for my own account, so I see it differently than you. Also, if I change the color would you crit it? Even if it's a once-over.

[i am the robots]

Just don't do any color changes, it'll show up on the default color for us all.

[Linkinbassist]

Nice, a gay protest song...

As in, a protest song based on the gay community, not that it's rubbish. I liked it, actually. I have many a gay friend who can relate heavily to these lyrics. They are strong, they carry your message across brilliantly and are very moving...

...One question though: Did you write this out of experience or observation?

[Thasis]

This song seems kinnda a bunch of related subjects strung together... not a song. More of a statement. Think re-working or re-phrasing it.

[DeadReligion]

Observation, I'm bi, but, some people are skeptical about that or w/e. But I've never been bashed. How is it a bunch of related subjects? It's the same thing, I'm just talking about how they can really love each other and aren't sinners, then I just talk against those who believe they are sinners and not worth helping yadda yadda. But it's really all the same thing.

[Linkinbassist]

Ah, i see...like i said, i know some members of the gay community who would really relate to this. I really like this piece.

Just to add, i'm straight... :D

[DeadReligion]

I hate straight people. Just kiddin'.

[Thasis]

I'm bi, and I know it all relates, it just seems kinnda like you wrote each part at diffrent times with a diffrent concept related to the same message and then kinnda threw it together. I dunno, that's the best way I can put it together.

[Surf]

There's alot of good stuff here, but in places it reads a little prosey. The first two stanzas are good, but in the next two you start to get longer lines with some unnecesary words. Poem right? If so I think alot of the lines could be broken, or at least rephrased.

“Homosexuals sodomized
and beaten behind a club, and now sports,”

that's where I'd break the line; the first line can stand on its own in a slightly paradoxal sense, and then the shorter words of the second line make it seem more flippant.

Whereas the first line of the first verse works well, I think it cheapns the idea to use it again for the start of the second verse as well. Rather than 'her waist', perhaps change it to 'a waist' 'the waist' or something similar; the points been made and if done too often in the same style it seems as though you're beating the reader over the head with it. The piece is strong enough already, don't make it over powering.


Overall, nice and quite original piece; I don't think I've seen anything on a similar subject on these boards. Good writing.

[Love2Lust]

I thought it was a good piece too, it did carry a good message, and it wasnt a bad writing...I dont want to put a critique on it because I dont like critting things that are meant to have a real meaning, because things that are created for a single purpose, for a single message shouldnt be tampered with...they are written from a person mind as they are focused (in most cases) and should remain as they were first created...free, untouched, and unbound by any 'natural' limits.

[DeadReligion]

In other words, you're a pussy. You just don't wanna take on a vet, who could pwnzorz you with his 1337zorz 5p33kzorz, huh? Hahahahahaha. Just kidding. I disagree, I think things should be said in the best way possible, but I'm glad you think it's good.

[eaton1012]

Cheer up emo kids

[DeadReligion]

^ Don't waste my ****ing post space. You're an idiot.

[Love2Lust]

yeah dude, dont come in here saying that type of ****...seriously, this is a serious song, dont bring your bigotted ways in here...

if you have something to say that is USEFUL to this peice...then post it...other wise, since I cant kill you over the internet for being a dick, strangle yourself with your ethernet cord...its the closest I can get.

kthnxbye:wave:

[FA]

are u guys yelling at eaton?

[woundedmonkey]

Cheer up emo kids

hahaha :chug:

im sorry i thought it was funny

[DeadReligion]

Meh, mildly funny, but more annoying. Anyway, let this drop, I'm posting a new poem.