Sorry to do this....

[Abandon all hope]

I wrote this today, and it broke whatever block I've had.
I know it's short, it's still under work.

"The best thing since....sliced wrists."

"As you sit and weigh your every option, I'll lie and wait patiently in my ****ing coffin. I'll listen for the sound of fresh ground to fall, and know that through it all the pulse I grew wasn't what I was positive I knew. And if for once the coast is clear, I may rise to be with you after all my dear. I'll pull these worms out from under my skin as I stand and brush myself off again."

[Surf]

A) one song a day dude

B) "The best thing since....sliced wrists." <- this is the worst title/sentence I have ever read. Its beyond cliche, its beyond ironic use of cliche, its not funny its that bad.

[Abandon all hope]

Nothing is concrete.
The title I jokingly sent someone and then liked.
You didn't crit the song in the least.

[Surf]

See; point A.

It wasn't meant to be a crit.

[Abandon all hope]

.dotdot......
My sincerest, SINCEREST appologies.
I was anxious for a crit on the second so I threw it up there.

[Surf]

Well my friend, let us go on a magical adventure to

the S&L Rules

welcome to the rules of the forum. the first thing that you will kindly note is the handy little hints hidden in the parentthesis at the end of the title:


(Read before posting)

You appear to have been a member for a few years. one would think that you would have taken a little look in your however many years and however many posts worth of time here.

Now, since we're here, lets look around. See that over there? there's a rule about posting audio, look how it directs you to the jam session. Great! but not what we came here for...

Look! its the rule asking you to stop calling songs emo. Not very readily enforced these days, and again, not quite what we're looking for.

Ah. There it is. With all this effort, you'd think it was hidden, but no, there it is. Let's bask in its glory shall we;


Do not post more than one song on the forum each day

Enough? Lets have another little peek shall we?

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day

OH NO! its seen us!

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day
Do not post more than one song on the forum each day

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day
Its running away!

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day

Do not post more than one song on the forum each day


Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

Thank you for joining us on the tour or the rules thread.

Next time, feel free to read it of your own accord.



But then of course, you were anxious for a crit. I mean, there's no way in hell you could of waited until tomorrow? of course not, the very thought is intolerable and idiotic. The piece would have ceased to be, would have evoporated into nothingness if it did not recieve crits right here and right now

[Minus The Flair]

wow, total extreme mega super fantastic etc. surf burn. colourful too.

[Abandon all hope]

Wow.
With all the effort that must've taken...
I don't know the outcome you were aiming for....
...I grasp that concept.
What if I were to tell you that i have 56k and it took 17 mins to post the first one?

[Surf]

Well to be honest, unless it took you 1440 mins to post the first one, its pretty irrelevant.

[Abandon all hope]

i posted it at 12:16
if it took 17 mins to post it wouldve fallen on yesterday
therefourth separating the two posts from your one post a day rule.

[Surf]

I live in the UK. clearly your time zone sucks.

[Abandon all hope]

Indeed.
/i concede the arguement.

[StoneTemplePilot]

Slit your wrists? What in the heck is up with music these days. That's all it seems to be about. Suicide and cutting yourself.

[Surtr]

Ok, first off, Surf, don't be an asshole.

Tbh, other than the title, I liked it. It'd make a decent short intro song to another song. It's got the aspect of it that makes it seem like it would be spoken, as a bunch of weird crap happened giving you the impression that all this stuff is swirling around a person reading this "poem".

[DeadReligion]

Surf, you make me smile. That was great. Truly a "day-brightener."

[TojesDolan]

COLORS!

No but really, I'll ask for closure here.

[Neoteric]

Surf.. you are amazing :lol:

[liz123]

I liked it, except for the title ofcourse, the title sets the seen, I almost was'nt going to read this, but am glad I did. If you finish it the other part should explain it a little more.