Some lyrics I wrote (punk)

[All_O_Gistics]

Check it out if youre into that ****.
It's my first time writing lyrics.. for some reason it just flowed today..
I was listening to Discharge all day so i think that's what pumped me up to write four lyrics in about 10 minutes while at work (drunk and after chugging 3 redbulls).

its here: http://cmreale.deviantart.com/
feedback's always wanted

[Up The Irons]

mature filter is on

id kind of prefer not having to make an account too

[TojesDolan]

Or...

You could just post them in here.

[All_O_Gistics]

Ok. Remember, it's my first time writing lyrics, but i'd like you know what you think. (My favorite ones are What's to live for and Scam of Humanity)
What's to live for? (for lack of a better name)
This is what they do,
this is what they do.
They fill us with lies
and we'll end up living the same old common boring lives
Go to work, day after day
cubicle slaves, all we hope for is a raise
come home, watch TV, settle down, go to sleep
SAME ROUTINE, every day, don't fall into their trap!

War breaks out.
They fill us with pride
only so we stick by our countries side.
I can tell you for a fact they don't care if we die,
I can tell you for a fact that they don't feel bad
if the men they're sending overseas are losing their lives
as long as we stick by our countries side,
a fascist nation in disguise.

What's to live for when you live like this?
What's to live for when you live like this?
you're just a tool in the grand old scheme,
and of course you don't even realize it..

You're only a tool for this selfish regime,
to them you're just one of their many machines..
What's to live for when you live like this?
What's to live for when you live like this?
________________________________________________

Imperial mischief

The Deceleration defined our natural rights,
todays government still tries to feed us this.
everyone falls for it, but its simply not the case,
its bull**** right below our noses..
right below our noses, a blatant lie!
Cops and politicians get away with acts,
that if we committed, would end us up in the tank.

Natural rights is an utter illusion,
Natural rights is merely bull****!
Natural rights is an utter illusion,
Natural rights? Blatant bull****!

The close minded ****s, behind the scenes,
are doing as they please.
Leaders with no sympathy.
Imperial mischief, cant you ****ing see?
Natural rights is bull****!
________________________________________________
Scam of Humanity

I just want to live
how I want to live!

So who are you to tell me how to live?
Who are you to tell me who I am?
Who are you to tell me that im wrong,
when I'm not even causing no ****ng harm?

I'm an individual just like everyone else,
so what's the sense in acting like somebody else?
Just because you say I should...? ****, NO!!

I am who I am, and i'm causing no harm,
so don't try to tell me how to live my life,
and don't tell me whats right and whats wrong!
because I'm not even causing anybody harm.

If you're trying to tell me how to be,
you're just a big old tool to me!
ONE OF THE MANY IN THE SCAM OF HUMANITY
you fell into the trap.. THE SCAM OF HUMANITY!
________________________________________________
Domestic Pet

You look down on me because it's expected of you,
I laugh at you because you're brainwashed and ignorant!
I'm not like you and everyone else!
I wasn't born to subscribe to this system!
and I'm not here to please the crowd!
You're a common citizen,
a pet of the government.
You're in their house,
trained and domesticated!
just a pet.
just a pet,
just a pet of the government!
JUST A PET
JUST A PET
You're one of the governments many bitches,
too brainwashed to realize you're feeding their addiction
you're giving your life to their hedonism,
food for the higher-ups power addiction!

[DeadReligion]

One at a time hot shot. Once you read the rules are post properly, I crit you. Until then. Don't post.

On another note, being drunk and chugging energy drinks is for idiots. It's also great how recently people have jumped on the punk bandwagon and hate the government (particularly Bush) bandwagon without knowing anything about punk, or having a reason to hate the government other than everyone else is doing it. You're angst-ridden lyrics are not impressive, though.

[All_O_Gistics]

alright pal, thanks for the pointless online criticism. that's what we're all here for

[Apollyon]

I agree that writing lyrics about how horrible Bush is etc etc etc is not going to get you anywhere or get you any recognition. It's carbon copy, unoriginal and uninspiring. If you're going to go on a political rant for the sake of sounding "punk", at least stab at a deeper issue than, "THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US WE DIE IN IRAQ THEY DON'T CARE".

Sorry, but it's honest.

[DeadReligion]

You're welcome. And thanks for gettin' my back Apollyon. Lol.

[Surf]

write four lyrics in about 10 minutes while at work (drunk and after chugging 3 redbulls).

this does not bode well for the song.

And massive 123 one the political lyrics points. Unless you have some sophistication in the way you write, you just come across as uneducated and irrelevant. Political songs more often that not suck.

[Eliminator]

them be sum punk lyrics right there boy

[All_O_Gistics]

this does not bode well for the song.

And massive 123 one the political lyrics points. Unless you have some sophistication in the way you write, you just come across as uneducated and irrelevant. Political songs more often that not suck.

the message i was trying to get across was more about not being afraid to fully expressing yourself. if you get critisism from people it's only because they are brainwashed tools, afraid to stray from the norm in the slightest bit

[Mikedrummer]

let me write a proper punk song for you:

**** george bush
**** al gore
George Bush's mother is a big dirty whore.

:) :thumb:

[Surf]

if you get critisism from people it's only because they are brainwashed tools, afraid to stray from the norm in the slightest bit

your lyrics aren't that original and if anything conform to 'the norm'

If you want to fully express yourself, use the guide at the top of S&L to learn to to do it better.

Hate to break the news to you, but these songs will not revolutionise the world. seriously, check out the guide and learn to convey your sentiments in a more sophsticated fashion.

[All_O_Gistics]

Hate to break the news to you, but these songs will not revolutionise the world.


It's my first time writing lyrics..
\

well gee guy, thanks for the heads up

[Surf]

feedback's always wanted

if you get critisism from people it's only because they are brainwashed tools, afraid to stray from the norm in the slightest bit

:bewildered:

[All_O_Gistics]

I agree that writing lyrics about how horrible Bush is etc etc etc is not going to get you anywhere or get you any recognition. It's carbon copy, unoriginal and uninspiring. If you're going to go on a political rant for the sake of sounding "punk", at least stab at a deeper issue than, "THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US WE DIE IN IRAQ THEY DON'T CARE".

Sorry, but it's honest.

that isn't what that song was even about man. lol..

[All_O_Gistics]

the message i was trying to get across was more about not being afraid to fully expressing yourself. if you get critisism from people it's only because they are brainwashed tools, afraid to stray from the norm in the slightest bit
that's not referring to you guys critisising me on this board. haha. i was saying that that is what the song was about

[Surf]

But would that not make us brainwashed tools if we were to criticise the sentiments you express? For example, I disagree with your social criticisms, does that make me brainwashed; seems some what childish, i.e. if you don't agree, you're brainwashed.

Its things like this that undermine the song, make it seem immature.

[All_O_Gistics]

i see what you mean.

i guess i was referring more to lifestyles but didnt make it clear.

also when i say brainwashed i mean closeminded. so if someone was to laugh at someone else who lived an alternate lifestyle just because its different, the one laughing is brainwashed (by whats considered "right" in our society) and ignorant to a degree.

[Minus The Flair]

ninja edit there.

but to not spam, people here are not trying to be hostile towards you, they are trying to offer CONSTRUCTIVE critiscism. if you are serious about writing, which i doubt, then take a look at the guide at the top of the page, it offers a lot of help.

[Surf]

Well is an improvement because you've used a metaphor instead of being so blunt.

However, look for a more interesting one, puppets, pets same kind of things been said before you know?

So its a good start, try applying it to the rest of the piece.

[All_O_Gistics]

thanks.
but yeah, when i wrote it something about being so up to front appealed. it still does actually