What's a funeral like?

[TheOpethAffinity]

Im going to one. :( :( :(

is it really awkward or melancholy or what?

[Light Fantastic]

pretty boring

[Tiger]

Its a good time to balance your checkbook, mourn someone's death, or comfort their widow's.

[I Am a Hat]

its just boring unless its like you moms funeral or something

[Justin]

Depressing.

[Apollyon]

Of course it's awkward and melancholy. It's a funeral.

My grandfather's funeral wasn't so bad though. He had a military funeral so it was pretty interesting.

[TheOpethAffinity]

hahah no.

[Tiger]

How long is it?

Thats kind of a personal question dude.

[Light Fantastic]

its only akward if people start to cry, then you stay away from those people and its all good

[I Am a Hat]

on the upside, there might be cake!

[TheOpethAffinity]

Thats kind of a personal question dude.

i mean, how long are the ceremonies on average?

[Apollyon]

How long is it?

I'm not telling you that. :eek:

i mean, how long are they on average?

5 inches for a white male, 4.5 inches for an asian, 5.5-6.0 inches for a black man.

[The Stig]

Depends. My grandfather was Catholic, so we said an entire Mass and everything. So that was about an hour and a half. My grandmother was Baptist, and the service was about thirty minutes. Actually now that I think about it, we buried her Thanksgiving day four years ago.

[Tiger]

i mean, how long are they on average?

Pft I dont know, for white guys like 6 inches?

[Apollyon]

Depends. My grandfather was Catholic, so we said an entire Mass and everything. So that was about an hour and a half. My grandmother was Baptist, and the service was about thirty minutes. Actually now that I think about it, we buried her Thanksgiving day four years ago.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[fattymattk]

let's conduct a survey. Everyone truthfully give their penis size, and we'll calculate an average and perhaps the standard deviation.

[Apollyon]

let's conduct a survey. Everyone truthfully give their penis size, and we'll calculate an average and perhaps the standard deviation.

14.7 inches.

[The Stig]

I know. It was my sophomore year in high school. She died that Tuesday, and we buried her on Thursday. It was the last Thanksgiving we spent with family in South Carolina. I hadn't really thought about it until just now, though.

[pulseczar]

let's conduct a survey. Everyone truthfully give their penis size, and we'll calculate an average and perhaps the standard deviation.

that was ol' cotter for ya :(

[Tiger]

SC's always kind of a drag, 'innit?

[Janeway]

It depends on how noteworthy the person was.


I'd say my uncle's burial service lasted an hour. But my mother specifically told the minister to keep it short, and he still spoke for 20 minutes, and we had him viewed three times. So be prepared for him to rattle on for the whole hour. Then people throw dirt and roses on the casket, and everyone cries and leaves.

Then you go have cake.

[Pop music sucks]

Pretty freakin' boring.

[3FingeredHoek]

I hate funerals. They always leave me feeling like crap for a few days.

[The Stig]

SC's always kind of a drag, 'innit?

I honestly used to enjoy visiting. It was better than Georgia.

[evaworcim]

i have never been to one, i've had the opportunity, but don't want to go to one, i'm afraid i'll laugh at something, i wouldn't of minded hunter thompsons funeral though, that looked like fun

[Sabian4015]

I think funerals are too sad.

Cheer up, death is part of life.

^^^Irony?

[Light_Fantastic]

I don't attend funerals...I prefer to remember anyone who has died as living...funerals a pretty morbid..

[Janeway]

Funerals themselves are not morbid. We don't watch the body being embalmed, we don't poke and prod the corpse with sticks. Friends and family gather together to remember that person, to support and love each other, and to feel the sorrow and joy that make life so good.

You have to acknowledge that they are dead before you can truly appreciate your memories of them. Funerals confirm the finality of death, and it ultimately leads to a deeper appreciation of both the memories of that person, and the life that you're currently blessed with.





Man's preoccupation with the full cessation of vital functions in a biological organism is morbid. Everything in the media is focused on death. Movies make billions of dollars because they feature over the top, gruesome deaths that people laugh and cheer for. None of that is remotely morbid, but a service to pay respects and remember a loved one is?

[Light Fantastic]

ill acknowledge they are dead when the coroner tells meeeee

[Electronado]

a funreal is like april fools except there inst no surprises

[Spikey]

no, i couldn't deal with death. i don't think i'd even beable to fo a funeral, although i'd make myself. its too final for me

[angry armadillo]

let's conduct a survey. Everyone truthfully give their penis size, and we'll calculate an average and perhaps the standard deviation.
well, i dont have a ruler to hand, and i am at work, but my pants do say 32 inches so I'll will go with that as my answer

[Mr. Black]

I really enjoyed hearing about my Grandad's life. I think it depends on wether the death was expected as in my case, or otherwise, where it would be much sadder.

[Mother]

a lot of crying .. kinda depressing

[TojesDolan]

Boring and old people crying.

Unless it's my family. Then everyone's screaming and crying, plus a couple idiots like myself laughing.

[sweboy]

Sweboy's list of ice breakers to use when walking up to the coffin (if open) at a funeral:

"Oh my god... He's dead!"

"Holy crap there's a corpse in the coffin!"

"Hey, anyone want to see a dead body?"

"Ah, dead people... is there anything more arousing?"

"Is anyone gonna eat that?"

"He looks kind of pale, are you sure he's ok?"

"Mmm, smells wonderful, is that lasagne?"

"Nice coffin... how fast does it go?"

"Cheer up, emo kid. Lol."

Mail any complaints about this post to customersupport@sweboyenterprises.com, and please label the mail "Sweboy is a jerk."

[Justin]

swebey is a god.

[Justin]

swebey is a god.

dess?


lolz

[Mother]

do black metal guys get buried in corpsepaint

do they even have funerals

The undead dont die.

[EightMilesHigh]

my family's funerals are a blast. we're irish, so we get to have wakes :-D

do black metal guys get buried in corpsepaint

do they even have funerals

viking funerals, duh!

[TojesDolan]

Yeah but it's more of a celebration than anything.

Or maybe that's for the death heads and stuff.

[sweboy]

dess?


lolz

what

Anyway, death metal guys don't have funerals. They get eaten by fellow band members on stage.

[TojesDolan]

I heard there's a lot of desperate pussy in the funerals.

[Benzum]

Never been to one. But when I do, I'll be smoking

[Dropsonde]

Even if you don't know the person directly (boss of company I worked at) it's still pretty depressing

[invaderrox]

I think it depends on who the funeral is for. My guitar teacher was killed by a drunk driver several years ago, that was really hard for me. He was a young guy, had his whole life to live; if it were a grandparent, it would be more expected probably more peaceful.

My guitar teacher's funeral was open casket, and to be respectful, I went up there to look. That's probably the worst thing I ever did. I'm sure a lot of people couldn't tell, but when it's someone you know, and half their face is fake because it was smashed in by a car, it's really disturbing to see. I just... know that's something I'll always regret doing.

That's not to say it isn't something that gives people closure in certain circumstances though.

[TojesDolan]

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Kris/crying.png

There you go.