Monday Night Mayhem: One Man's Triumphant Return To MX?

[Riva]

One Man's Triumphant Return To MX?

For information, interviews, article submissions, simply gmail me at HeavyRiva, or contact your local emergency hotline: Police, Fire, Ambulance or Riva

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Rightio, it’s the news. The news that Jom never reads.

Headbanging Causes Strokes:
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news.php?newsid=1893

Anyone who's done this for longer than 4 minutes knows this anyway, but remember to PRACTICE SAFE HEADBANGING, KIDS

It's official! DragonForce want young girls!
http://www.sputnikmusic.com/news.php?newsid=1897

I suspect one of the selection parameters is "jigglyness".

-----------------------------
And, onto the threads we go:

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/forums/showthread.php?t=501280

Just one from Alex, another in-depth, interesting look at a less than well-known band. Although Adam Ant doesn't sound like something I'd like, it is always nice to hear new things. One thing I'd like to mention, if Alex sends you some uploads, the least you can do is post in his thread, even if it's just a few lines of your thoughts.

----------------------------
And, now for the review of the week:

http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review_9930

I've always been a bit of a Queensryche fan, though not nearly as big as some other members of the forum. In any event, I think the review does the album justice, and it was written a mite better than the others I read this week. So go check it out!

----------------------------
Riva's Rant

Not much so far, just something I had a chuckle over.

There's an early afternoon game show here, called It's Academic. It's one of those ones aimed at kids, where the primary schools from around the state send in their best kids to compete for prizes and bragging rights.

In any event, I can only assume each school holds a little competition or test to pick the brightest kids in the school for the show. And from what I gather, they must then pick whichever of those brightest kids are the most asian, and send them along. Seriously, each show features 8 asian kids and the token white guy. Once I saw a white and black kid, but the rest of the time the show looks like it's Allen's family reunion. It's stereotypically hilarious.

[Riva]

ShadowsFallen, or Ben as he's known to his avid fanclub, joined us in the vintage year of 2004, in the winter, to be precise. (My winter, you upside down freaks) In any case, he became respected around the forums after a time, and finally ended up as a Sputnik mod, due to his love and obvious talent at writing reviews.

Here is him, up close and THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL


------------------------------------

***Interview Commenced at 11.17AM***
ShadowsFallen says:
:eek:

Riva says:
This is operating under a veil of secrecy, Ben. Can I trust you to keep this under your hat for about 8 hours?

ShadowsFallen says:
Of course. Just give me a second to engage my hilariously oversized secret recording device to sell anything we say on the black market.

What hath you, fair Aussie?

Riva says:
Oooh, is that the same model I use? The one with the nuclear power cell as standard?

ShadowsFallen says:
Perhaps. Mine has a giant extension cord.

Riva says:
Haha. In any case, I'm asking the questions here!

How are you?

ShadowsFallen says:
Absolutely wonderful. Hopefully you are the same.

Riva says:
Yes, I am. So then, let me just remember the questions.

Oh yes, how did you come to find MX?

ShadowsFallen says:
Hm...that takes me way back. I think it was the same way as everyone else. I was heading an underground pornography ring and was looking for a source of funds. Mx being the type of webmaster he is, I knew I had to come to him first. You see, mx used to be a giant ring of musical porn, with tablatures being used as a mere cover for this all-American operation.

Wait a second, what was the question?

Oh, right. I remember I had just begun playing guitar and I was looking for a solid source of tabs and info to help get started. MX popped up in a search engine and I've been coming back ever since.

Riva says:
I'm not sure, you lost me at Hrm...

Yes, the addictive properties of MX are well documented.

ShadowsFallen says:
You might want to scratch that first part.

Riva says:
I'm sorry, I can't delete anything on this tape, otherwise the nuclear reactor goes into a meltdown.

ShadowsFallen says:
oh dear god

Riva says:
Now then, why the name ShadowsFallen? And was it your first name? I'm trying to remember if you had another originally.

ShadowsFallen says:
ShadowsFallen was not my first name. Actually, it was my third, but my first didn't last long at all. Anyone who has corresponded with me via email will know that my email address is "TheFlashMango", a nickname that I've sort of gone under for 5 years. I first joined under that name but was perm banned the day I joined. I was quite the rapscallion in my day.

Riva says:
Indeed.

I may have to ban you again for old time's sake.

ShadowsFallen says:
Oh damn, not again.

You real mods and your careless regard for rules and others.

I re-joined under the questionable moniker "Death to Pop-punk", but once I outgrew junior high, I realized it was time for a change. Natutrally my Shadows Fall fanboyism at the time got the better of me and I assumed my current name.


Riva says:
Ah yes, now I remember DTPP.

ShadowsFallen says:
Indeed. Let us never speak of it again.

Riva says:
It will never appear again until the next time I need a favour from you. =-[

Alright, I just had to open up an old interview to remember how to do this.

I'm getting senile in my old age.

FIVE FAVOURITE BANDS, SUCKA!

ShadowsFallen says:
I hear that's common in Australia.

Too much Foster's can be degenerating.

Hm...five bands...

Riva says:
That's funny, we don't drink it. Haha! *bans you and Jom*

ShadowsFallen says:
Children of Bodom, Shadows Fall, Arsis, Opeth, and Cradle of Filth. Quite an eclectic combination if I do say so myself.

Riva says:
Yes, it runs the gamut from Metal to Metal.

ShadowsFallen says:
Wait, I'm confused. What other type of music is there?

Riva says:
I don't know.

There's Pop and Metal.

ShadowsFallen says:
I thought so.

Riva says:
I think that's the only two categories.

ShadowsFallen says:
And of course all good music is metal.

I think.

Riva says:
At least, that's what MTV tells me.

ShadowsFallen says:
Maybe I drank too much tonight.
MT who?

Riva says:
You know, the definitive authority on all things music. Jeez, keep up, man.

So then, tell me, what's happening in your life that is exciting and family friendly.

Remembering our readers are often under the legal age in all countries except for England.

ShadowsFallen says:
Let's see...I think I raped another cashier last...

oops, wrong IM window.


Lately I've been dancing about my sugary land of faeries and rainbows. I ride a unicorn to and from school everyday.

I've primarily been working hard on my guitar, as music is my intended major and I need to pass an audition.

Riva says:
I think the metrosexual level of this chat just skyrocketed.

ShadowsFallen says:
That's basically it for the reader-friendly stuff.

Riva says:
Oh hurrah.

You know what, tell me the naughty stuff, I'll just turn off the tape.


*click*





*click*

Riva says:
Wow, did you really? I didn't know you could do that and still walk!

Errr.... anyways.

ShadowsFallen says:
woah woah woah!!!!!!!!

Riva says:
What do you see as the future of the forums?

ShadowsFallen says:
Um...er, moving on...

Riva says:
A highly prophetic and intellectual answer.

ShadowsFallen says:
Future of the forums, eh? first of all, I'd like to see mx fix the login process. The site logs me out after a mere two minutes of inactivity! I can't get anything done on the forums now!

And of course, sputink mod that I am, I must stress the flawlessness of our wonderful review section.

I personally slave there hours every day to make sure users such as yourself can enjoy rating, discussing, and reviewing music.

Riva says:
Yes, I remember well the Sputnik review section, from my time there earlier this year. Perhaps I may return...

ShadowsFallen says:
You must! Jeremy really puts in far too much effort for our regular forum browsers to ignore it.

Riva says:
Alright. Now that the propaganda is out of the way, any last words/threats/pleas for people to THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!?

ShadowsFallen says:
By the hammer of Thor, the beard of Zeuss, Great Odin's Raven, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riva says:
CROSS MYTHOLOGIES FTW

ShadowsFallen says:
And please, keep the fornication to a minimum.

Riva says:
Well, fortunately 90% of MX keeps the fornication to zero, so that's easy enough.

ShadowsFallen says:
yes, I'd hate to cause our reader's seratonin levels to violently fluxuate.

For the purpose of this interview, I'll say I'm in that elite 10%.

You know, since I'm almost a mod and all.

Riva says:
Hehe, well, you can increase your chances after we finish the interview. ^_^

***Interview Terminated? at 11:43am***

[Riva]

My bumping of the old community thread evoked feelings in me... dark, secretive feelings that I didn't dare show the world. After some counselling and the support of my family, I decided to write these feelings down for the world.

So, enjoy my short story, a foreboding, disgusting view into one man's psyche. Little did he know, he had entered the Twilight Disco Zone.

***INTERVIEW COMMENCED ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY... IF YOU WERE NOT IN THE MILKY WAY BUT INSTEAD IN A SPACESHIP FAR FAR AWAY FROM THE MILKY WAY***

Riva: Well, here I am again, back with the TenderBot v3.8. If you don’t remember the old one, I suggest taking a look here (http://www.musicianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=411249). How are you TenderBot?

TenderBot: I am quite well, mortal one. I am surprised your puny mind decided to resurrect me, considering the outcome of last time’s interview.

Riva: Heh, well, if popular culture has taught me anything, it’s that building powerful robots that may or may not decide to kill all organic life always turns out for the best.

TenderBot: …Indeed. One wonders when you will stop your pitiful attempts at humour and begin the interview.

Riva: Alright, alright. So, then, on with the intervi—

At this point, the sudden crash of masonry and wood announces the arrival of an intruder through the door.

Riva: *cough* The door wasn’t even closed!

Jombot: Err… yes, I closed it so I could crash through and thus make my entrance more dramatic Riva! It is not right! The TenderBot is an abomination!

Riva: Come now, that’s fairly harsh. He’s virtually the same as you.

Jombot: Bah, he is a mere abacus before my might, compare us not.

TenderBot: You malicious, malfunctioning, megalomaniacal metal man! Ten points for the HHGTTG quote, but negative several million points for insulting me, okay?

Riva: Calm down the both of you. Jombot, what do you mean by destroying my door and *gasp* interrupting my comedic, witty interview?

Jombot: You know how the TenderBot despises me! I tell everyone often enough, in between cutting my wrists to the Barenaked Ladies.

TenderBot: You are not worthy of my despite, nor my pity. Have I ever given you an indication at all?

Jombot: Well… not directly. It was more implied you know…

TenderBot: I see… the emokid virus has claimed another one of my digital brethren… A sad day this is for all.

*Suddenly, Vince peeks his head through the shattered remains of my door*

Permanent Solution: Did somebody say emokid??

Riva: Jeez… Vince, where did you come from?

Permanent Solution: Oh, I’m kinda like Shazzam. Except emokid is my magic word. It’s like a beacon to me, I am but a moth caught in the porch light of life… I… I want to die.

Riva: Okay, I can see this interview going down the drain fast.

Jombot: Can we get back to the TenderBot and I and our fascinating story arc?

Riva: Yeah, sure, you guys duke it out, I’m going to get something to drink.

Jombot, TenderBot and Vince: FAWSTERS??? LOLOLOLOLOL

Riva: *expletive removed*

*Riva walks outside, to the fridge, and pulls out a non-Foster’s brand beer, when suddenly he hears a squeal of wheels outside*

Riva: I better go see what’s happening outside, and fast! Where are my shoes!? Yes! Where are my shoes!?

*Riva runs outside barefoot*

Xizoesira: Holy blast from the past, batman!

Riva: Evan! Jason! Did you guys finally drag yourselves away from WoW?

Bobo: Ayup, the server went down. We’re going in the WoW mobile to go and see what the problem is.

*Bobo points to an old Ford covered in paper mache.*

Xizoesira: Err… it’s a paladin…

Riva: Whatever, I’m game for anything that progresses the story into something halfway interesting.

*All three pile in and drive off into the sunset*

Riva: So where is this WoW server, anyway?

Bobo: Montreal.

Xizoesira: That’s in Canada.

Riva: I’m aware of its location…

*several hours later*

Xizoesira: Are we there yet?

Riva: No.

Bobo: Are we there yet?

Xizoesira: No.

Riva: Are we there yet?

*A dark shape leaps onto the car, thrusting its head into the window*

Illmatic: Lame joke, Riva.

*Ray jumps off again, disappearing into the distance*

Bobo: Random.

*The WoW-mobile squeals to a stop outside the secret base of Blizzard’s WoW servers.*

Stormrider331 and Musical_Nerd: Hey guys!

Riva: Oh, aren’t you two just the cutest couple! I’d love to have you guys stay in the story, but this is kinda for Vets only.

Xizoesira: No time for that now! We have to sneak past that strangely familiar security guard.

Bobo: He looks like someone we know… *mutters* What a surprise…

Riva: Ali! What are you doing here?

Munky_magick: Oh, just doing some security work now that I’m all grown up. It’s a pretty sweet job, they hired me because of my knowledge of the rules, and they said I can leave for months at a time and randomly come back again. They might even consider me as a supervisor at various times!

Riva: Sounds pretty scha-weet, dood.

Bobo: Die in a fire, Jason.

Xizoesira: I can certainly feel the love. Ali, let us in, hey? We need to set fire or fix the WoW servers, whichever turns out to be easiest.

Ali: No can do, boys, you aren’t on my super-special list.

Riva: Dammit! How can we ever get into the place now!!

Bobo: (Sotto voice) Chill, I’ve played this game called Rainbow 6, right?

***Some time later***

Riva: This air-vent is uncomfortably small.

Xizoesira: And what’s with all the leather clothing? I feel like I’m at a Judas Priest concert.

Bobo: There’s a way of doing things, ok? Vents have to be tight and squishy. Spys have to be leather clad.

Riva: Oh I see, so infiltration has to have strong homosexual overtones?

Xizoesira: Well, every action movie released in the ‘80s seemed to think so.

Bobo: Quiet! I hear movement at 8 o’clock.

Riva: That’s probably my neighbours going to school, they wake me up every morning at that time.

Bobo: I will seriously kill you in a minute. I’m talking about something to the south-west.

Xizoesira: Errr… I think it’s Jelle.

Superpeer: Oh, hey guys.

Xizoesira: What are you doing here?!?

Superpeer: Oh, I’m going to kidnap Pilot’s wife, take her back, and issue demands.

Riva: Errr… this is the WoW headquarters.

Superpeer: Dammit, I must have taken the wrong aqueduct…

Bobo: Well, you can help us out anyway.

Superpeer: Right, what are we doing?
Xizoesira: Being sneaky and homo-erotic.

Superpeer: Awesome! We just need some teenage girls and I’ll be all set. ^_^

Xizoesira: How did you manage to articulate that smiley? That’s incredible!

Bobo: Focus, you friggin’ queers! I’m opening up the grate into the main server room now. There should be no-one in there…

Riva: Famous last words.

SonorKen: Drop the weapons, you bastards!

Cjborton: Yeah, you heard the man. Hands on ankles… er… heads, maggots.

Riva: Err… Ken, Chris, why on earth are you two in the WoW server room?

SonorKen: The janitor heard you guys arguing about gays or something, so they called the SWAT time, i.e me, in.

Cjborton: And I was just walking to my welding job when Ken asked me to come along because the rest of the team got food poisoning last night from too much ice-cream and pizza. And haircuts, apparently??

Xizoesira: Oh ok. So, are we under arrest now or something? I’m too young (and beautiful) to become a prison bitch.

SonorKen: Nah, we’ll just let you guys go. Just a slap on the wrist.

Cjborton: Or a spank on the bum.

*awkward silence*

Bobo: *cough* You’re never taking me alive!?

*Bobo grabs Xizoesira and hurls the two of them at the main server tower, which for some reason explodes into a whirling vortex. Simultaneously, two new level 90 elite bosses appear in WoW*

Riva: Um… can you guys give me a lift home?

Cjborton: Sure thing, mate.

*The three of them jump into a chopper piloted by G_Mac07 who will remain silent and was only shoe horned in so I wasn’t the only Aussie in this production*

*Some hours later*

Riva: Thanks for the lift, mates!

Cjborton: No worries!

SonorKen: Cheers, mate!

*Riva walks inside, and then through the still destroyed door. Past it is Permanent Solution, doodling I <3 Pop-Punk on his arm*

Riva: Vince! Where did the two bots go?

Permanent Solution: Oh, they argued for a bit, cried, argued some more, then they both built time machines and went back in time to kill their creators before they grew up to make them.

Riva: Christ! But I built the TenderB-- *disappears with a plink*

*Coincidentally, NPC also disappears from the space-time continuum at the same time*

3074326: Hey guys, sorry I’m late, is there still time to appear in the story?

THE END

[Concubine]

lol @ the shadowsfallen interview. some funny **** there

[the2stranger]

It's back again. :eek::D
Great work Jason.
I really missed the MMMs.

[Txus]

Yeah, it is back!

Stormrider331 and Musical_Nerd: Hey guys!


Nice and fun read as usual. Wtf is Jammie and Rachel doing in there? :p

[G_Mac07]

Top stuff Jason. :thumb:

Glad to see this is back again. Hopefully you can knock out a few more when you finish uni as well.


555-hot-sex-tonite doesn't seem to be working anymore though... :upset:

[Apocalyptic Raids]

TenderBot rofl

Looks like Ben has finally acheived his life long ambition: The be interviewed for MNM.

[Wish]

Yes! I was just thinking about these the other day and out of the blue one pops up! I'm really pleased that it's back for now at least.

Very funny interview.

[Kage]

That was ****ing awesome. Gripping read, truly.

[ATM]

Glad it's back, I still need to get my interview

<_<
>_>

[TojesDolan]

Nice stuff. I remeber this when I wasn't a reg, and I'm still not a reg so gg.

lol

[Daven]

Haha, nice man. Great interview.

[Steerpike]

This makes me fell so very nostalgic.

[superpeer]

Hell yes! It's back!

I like how I only had a few lines but still alluded to several felonies.

[Mazeppa]

Heh, good stuff.

[Kingofdudes]

hahaha awesome

[Tyr]

Sweet! Great interview and story both.

[Josh]

that made a great break from uni work, great work Jason. :)

[Stormrider]

Hahahaha. Seeing my name was about the last thing I expected :p !

Nice job ! That was awsome.

[Shadows]

TenderBot rofl

Looks like Ben has finally acheived his life long ambition: The be interviewed for MNM.
I can now die a happy man.

Danke, Jason, danke for your Aussie hospitality. But please, cut back on the Foster's.

[Deth]

:lol: If you can keep it up, you deserve a medal.

[Sleepy]

That brightened up my tech class. Thanks, Riva.

Good interview as well.

[Luc214]

Damn I'm still too new to appear in these.

[Kingofdudes]

I've been here 3 years and still dont :'-(

[Shattered_Future]

Yeah, how the hell did Jammie get into it? :mad:

Riva, you should publish some of this crap. You can write really well.

[Stormrider]

Because me > you.

and backstage bribes <_<

Riva just felt like including the cutest couple evar :-D

[Dr. Jake Destructo]

Geeze Jason. You steal my huge avatar, now you leave no room for a cameo from me?!

I hate you. :mad:

Actually, the story was neat even without me. I'm probably too alternative to fit into a story anyways, so don't sweat it. :thumb:

[Sleepy]

Geeze Jason. You steal my huge avatar, now you leave no room for a cameo from me?!

I hate you. :mad:

Actually, the story was neat even without me. I'm probably too alternative to fit into a story anyways, so don't sweat it. :thumb:

Riva should write a summary of the AIM chatrooms sometime. It could double as a satirical piece of fine literature and an advertisement.

And :lol: @ your user title

[Riva]

If you didn't feature in the story, it's probably because I don't like you.

EDIT: Oh wow, that looks more harsh in writing than I thought.

Umm... I love you all but I ran out of room?

[Stormrider]

the rest of R&M should have been the virus plagging the WoW server...lolol

[Txus]

We should have an upclose and personal Norse interview, Jason :naughty:

[Sleepy]

We should have an upclose and personal Norse interview, Jason :naughty:

The rest of the world (read: R&M) can't understand grim and frostbitten Scandinavian.

[Riva]

We should have an upclose and personal Norse interview, Jason :naughty:

You gild my sword and I'll polish your hammaren. :naughty:

[Txus]

:naughty: Sounds fun. Can I bring my leather covered horns?

[Dr. Jake Destructo]

If you didn't feature in the story, it's probably because you're American.


:eek:

[MBS]

Oh man, Riva. :)

[Kage]

:eek:
You're right.

[Permanent Solution]

Jake: Pfft, I'm American.

Jason: :-*

I'm still the R&M emo kid even after all this time eh? :( /cuts <_<

[Dr. Jake Destructo]

Green card-holders don't count.

Cj doesn't either.

Nor Bobo.

And Jom is a bot, so he doesn't count either.

>_>

F.

[Lord Abortion]

Another mildly amusing interview Jason, I also took note of my lack of participation in the story...bitch.

*Puts Jason on the list*

[Lunch]

More like non green card-holders amirite

[Shattered_Future]

No need for a green card. :cool:

[Bartender]

Ow. My feelings :(

[Luc214]

"If you didn't feature in the story, it's probably because you're American."

:eek:

I'm an american citizen, but my heritage is scottish/irish.

[Kage]

So...?

Most Americans' heritage is European...

[Sleepy]

So...?

Most Americans' heritage is European...

Or asian...:rolleyes:

[Kage]

They don't really count.

[MBS]

:(

/cry

[Luc214]

So...?

Most Americans' heritage is European...

but is he talking about our heritage or citizenship?

[Kage]

Um.

Were you born in America?

[Luc214]

Yes.

[Kage]

Then you're an American...

I was born in America, my heritage is Czech. OH I AM NOT AMERICAN I AM CZECHISH.

[Luc214]

I only said what my heritage was.

[Kage]

Well in your initial post, you said "I'm an american citizen, but my heritage is scottish/irish," implying that this exempted you from the rule that no Americans are featured in the story. By that logic, then there are no Americans at all.

[Deth]

Then you're an American...

I was born in America, my heritage is Czech. OH I AM NOT AMERICAN I AM CZECHISH.

Most people of Italian descent seem to follow this logic.

[Luc214]

Well in your initial post, you said "I'm an american citizen, but my heritage is scottish/irish," implying that this exempted you from the rule that no Americans are featured in the story. By that logic, then there are no Americans at all.

Okay.

BTW, your avatar is a David Lynch movie, I've been reccomended him, but I saw The Elephant Man and really didn't think it was very good.

[Riva]

It seems I have to point something out... :p

Aussies in story: 2
Dirty Euros in story: 3
Canucks in story: 2
USAians in story: 9

[Shadows]

Why was I not in the story? :(

[Kage]

Well the Elephant Man isn't very indicative of his work, but he's certainly not for everyone. I recommend you give Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive a shot before you make a final decision, though. :)

[Riva]

You had an interview already, you greedy bastard.

[Shadows]

Says who? :mad:

[Riva]

I updated the first post in true MNM fashion. In case anyone is interested.

[Shadows]

That makes me feel a little better. :)

[Luc214]

Well the Elephant Man isn't very indicative of his work, but he's certainly not for everyone. I recommend you give Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive a shot before you make a final decision, though. :)

I haven't made a decision yet, as I've only seen one movie of his. Is he offbeat? If so I can definitely handle that, Jean-Pierre Jeunet is my favorite director right now.

[Kage]

I haven't made a decision yet, as I've only seen one movie of his. Is he offbeat? If so I can definitely handle that, Jean-Pierre Jeunet is my favorite director right now.
Yeah, he's pretty off beat, usually quite weird. But I won't give a way too much.

[Dr. Jake Destructo]

Hey, you just leave Allen alone! He tries his hardest to dumb down and act white.

Er 'fit in,' rather.

>_>

[ArcLite]

Haha, awesome stuff, Jason. How do you even have time for the wife writing things of this sort?

[Apocalyptic Raids]

Why was I not in the story? :(
Isn't being an interviewee enough?!?

[Exzplosivo]

No.

[Tyr]

It's nice to see that others than me like Queesrÿche. They are in my top 5 bands, for sentimental reasons.

[Riva]

Haha, awesome stuff, Jason. How do you even have time for the wife writing things of this sort?

Why aren't you ever on MSN anymore? ='(

[ATM]

He claims he has a "life".

Pffft, the internet is life.

[ArcLite]

Why aren't you ever on MSN anymore? ='(

I actually just kind of forgot about it. I'll make a point of being on more often.

Internet is about 50% of my life in one way or another. What a great invention, thanks Al Gore...:rolleyes: