Stand by Me

[ElementaryPenguin]

xyz

[SubtleDagger]

One song a day, post another song and you're looking for a banning

Don't remake closed threads, I close them for a reason, because I don't want you making them

[SubtleDagger]

>_< Ugh for chrissake

The next time you get a thread closed on this site you should consider lumping it, arguing is not going to change anyone's mind

UGH

[ElementaryPenguin]

xyz

[Surf]

have you heard Ben e. king's stand by me. just kidding.

What a power tripper lol

not really, seeing as hee's just keeping the forums in order. it was you who reposted the closed song, who posted two songs in one day, he's done nothing wrong.

anyway, a crit. and this is subjective, i'm just being harsh because it'll help your writing in the long run.

the first verse is just a mash of psuedo-philosphical questions that have no depth. there's nothing to get me interested, just a series of baselsss questions.

the chorus is a bit meh. nothing special, but nothing outstandingly wrong. again, there's a lack of engaging/interesting writing, which leads to a lack of depth.

the second verse is all over the shop. there's no traceable plot/line of arguement, and it just seems jittery. its more interesting than the first verse, but thats not saying much. there's a little depth here, but its lost in the muddle of ideas. try focusing it more, rather than making everything a rhetorical question.

overall this is severly lacking anything engaging. there's nearly no depth, because there;s a lack of any discernable imagery/metaphor/any poetic device. check out the guide at the top of s&l, it should help alot.

[SubtleDagger]

Closed due to edit