Cocktail Breakfast

[Diluted]

Cocktail Breakfast

Self-loathing, have you heard
Only gets you down, as it were
Black shoes a dirty shirt
And a self-prescribed crimson cure

Your first on my list
Disco goddess
Give me one last kiss
Cocktail breakfast

Feeling guilty for things I thought
You ask why?, I ask why not?
Cold and lonely is all I've got
No answers found in meds I bought

Over shoulder watch my shadow
Second guessing all that I know
Down, depressed and feeling hollow
Ecstasy fades as today turns tomorrow


All comments and and suggestions are appreciated.
Thanks in advance,:thumb:

Mad Hatter

[TojesDolan]

One song per post, if you don't mind.

EDIT or else...

[SiYmon]

I liked it. Im not too experienced but i think there is some well thought out lines in there. I don't know if this is just me but i felt there was any story to the song. I tend to write a song with the intention to tell a story. There are many songs out there that don't so its not a bad thing.

One line i'd consider re-changing is "Over Shoulder Watching Shadow" i don't know if it feels right. What do others think??

[Diluted]

I liked it. Im not too experienced but i think there is some well thought out lines in there. I don't know if this is just me but i felt there was any story to the song. I tend to write a song with the intention to tell a story. There are many songs out there that don't so its not a bad thing.

One line i'd consider re-changing is "Over Shoulder Watching Shadow" i don't know if it feels right. What do others think??

I actually just changed that line to "over shoulder watch my shadow"

thanks for the comment.

[SiYmon]

I actually just changed that line to "over shoulder watch my shadow"

thanks for the comment.

Yeah i think that fits better now. Good stuff.