Lonely Roses

[UNOMAS]

Sorry I posted two today, thoughts seem to be flowing easier today tahn usual. Here's a start to one that just kind of fell together. It's likely to change, but see what you think


Lonely Roses
He is a switch-blade man
Opening so easily in the early shadows
Euphoria ensues, ever so tempting
Roses rain down from a blackened ceiling
Encased by four whitewashed walls
You fall asleep with blossoms in your hands
Sins of the flesh for all
His blade, anonymous, crashes closed
Cutting so deep in the morning
Drawing tears that race down your cheeks
As he steals your blood soaked bouquet
And gently shuts the door

[Agrim]

Sorry I posted two today, thoughts seem to be flowing easier today tahn usual. Here's a start to one that just kind of fell together. It's likely to change, but see what you think


Lonely Roses
He is a switch-blade man
Opening so easily in the early shadows
Euphoria ensues, ever so tempting
Roses rain down from a blackened ceiling
Encased by four whitewashed walls
You fall asleep with blossoms in your hands
Sins of the flesh for all
His blade, anonymous, crashes closed
Cutting so deep in the morning
Drawing tears that race down your cheeks
As he steals your blood soaked bouquet
And gently shuts the door

"A switchblade man
Opening so easliy in the early shadows
Euphoria ensues, so tempting
Roses rain down form the blackened ceiling
Encased by four white walls
Falling asleep, blossoms in hand
The sins of the flesh for all
His anonymous blade crashes closed
It cuts so deep in the morning
Tears race down your cheeks
As he steals the blood-soaked bouquet
Then slowly shuts the door"

Nicely done, I liked it a lot.

This is how I'd word it though, if that helps.