Time The Skillful Swordsmen

[EatingABook]

Not sure what to expect, he just sits and pictures her over and over. And she is more beautiful everytime. Only days can describe their relationship, but those day are so unforgettable. He goes crazy when he's not with her. He's in love with an angel he's sure of it. But can an angel love him the same? Thinking she can hear him he screans, My life has been so imcomplete but when i became acquainted with your lovliness i finally felt fulfilled. he waits for a response he's not sure he'll receive. Time is such a skillfull swordsman who knows how to stab your heart so it hurts the most. Never leaving his mind at peace are the memories of the few days he's known her. He remebers how the sound of her delicate vocie soothes any pain and how he's always at a loss for words when their together. But in the back of his mind this fantasy is interupted when he recalls conversations he's overheard and the words "just friends" came bearing pain that shattered all hopes and dreams he's had of ever holding her and telling her how much he really loves her. But with the little life he has left he presses on determined to hold his true love, but time pushes his sword of rejection deeper into his heart. And it seems that time may have won and will tell.

[Surf]

is this a poem or prose?

[Spoonful]

hmm should we write prose in this form?

[EatingABook]

a little bit of both more of a prose i geuss

[Surf]

i think that this would, considering both the length and the subject matter, benefit from conversion into a full poem. it doesn;t have enough story or depth to be prose, yet could function as a piece of poetry.
you'll need to add line breaks, and i would adive playing with the syntax of several sentences, just to give a more poetic feel. for more advise and some details of devices t use, check out the song writing guide at the top of the page.
in parts, i feel you have a very good grasp on your writing. the eponymous metaphor works well, and feels like the centrepiece of the poem. however, there are aspects that need fine tuning. more detail is required, you need to give an idea of the characters in order to involve your readers. you also need to use more of the poetic (same if you keep it as prose) devices. try some assonance, as well as some more vivid imagery.
overall, this is niether strong enough to stand as poetry or prose. if its poetry, it needs to use more of the aforementioned devices, as well as some more insight into the situation. if you decide its prose, then you need to go into greater depth and then you need to keep the reader's interest. expand on the characters and add some more detail to the story. but anyway, despite the confusion, there's some nice writing in there.

hmm should we write prose in this form?

in what other form should we write prose? if you mean structure, then yes, he could use structure to add further detail and depth to the subject matter

[EatingABook]

thanks surf