Live

[PECOAE]

This is the play of life
You’re standing on the stage
You are the character
Who can be erased from the page

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

When you will realize
I will never know
But I will tell you something
I learned a long time ago

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

Embrace the darkness
Suck it in,
You’re gonna need it
The battle’s about to begin

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

You’ve only got one day
Live life like the last
Never forget yourself
The die has already, been cast

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

We take care not to break it
The colours shape our mortal weave
Masterpiece - Its more,
More than we can conceive

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

[takes2tokill]

hm this reminds me of a song i heard sumwhere, he said sumthing like "to live life like you were dying" or sumthing..

neways.

This is the play of life
You’re standing on the stage
You are the character
You can be erased from the page

I think the last line should start with "who", cause i heard "you" to many times.

Live your life – never realize you’re dead – too late

this is cool i like it =)

When you will realize
I will never know
But I will tell you something
I learned a long time ago

i like the rhyme here, it cought my attention.
same on the next stanzas too.

The colours shape our mortal weave
We take care not to shake it up
Its more than we could conceive
Masterpiece – work of art.

the rhyme changed here from abcb to abac, and the syllables went 8 8 7 6 it seemed to disrupt the flow to me...

overall i liked this tho, kinda short but the rhyme is good, and srry it wasnt a long discriptive crit, im not THAT good w/ lyrics. lol.

[PECOAE]

Thanks for the crit, I changed the last stanza a bit to fit better.

Actually, this was written while listening to Joy Division.

When I listen to Joy Division, its not the sadness that gets me, but the fact that all the characters live life - and have so many hardships - and makes me realize that life is too short.

[takes2tokill]

cool i like the changes u made to the last stanza the rhyme scheme works with the other stanzas =)

[PECOAE]

Thanks, anyone else?