First Song

[The Mother Standard]

Hi,

This is the first song I've written. I deliberately buried the meaning of the song because that relates exactly to what the song is about. I don't want to explicitely tell you because I want to see how somebody other than myself will interpret these words.

Anyway, here it is:


I'm not proud when I say
that the siren wailing in the background
will be our conversation starter,
that soon
we'll mold into a meaningless, stupid metaphor,
a torn blueprint of a thought
that's been dipped in acid, left to burn.

What's not in me,
I will make up
with vague details of your deepest concerns
and with your grin
I will make sure
to keep on going with this song.
My job is done,
my job is done.

And there's no feeling,
there's no pain,
there's no blaming someone else,
it's just true:
there's remorse but no regret.

Like an eternal shade of gray,
like an eternal shade of gray,
like an eternal shade of gray.
Life's a ****ing shade of gray.

Your opinions are most welcome.

[BassInstinct]

i like lyrics such as these where everything is expressed in metaphores. i think they make more interesting lyrics written in that style. its similar to the way that ian curtis(ie lead singler of joy division) used to write. i think you've done well, especially for a first song :). the only criticism i've got is that you should omit the swear word in the last stanza and replace it with an equally strong sounding word, but thats just me. i know that you're just trying to make that last line to be hard-hitting, but there are betetr ways of going about it IMO. used the word "blasted" or somthing similar instead because its equally aggressive sounding.

the lyrics seems to be concerning an accident that you had blamed on yourself, or an accident you had wished wasn't necessary in order for something good to happen. thats my way of interpreting it anyway.

[Madmatt]

the way i see it its like something happened like a accidennt at a contruction site with someone you know and the realtive of that person became a lil closer to you and you feel abad cause everything is working out for you but not your best friend
overall i give it a 9/10