M.E. (Making Eternity)

[Filipinorocker5]

Hey this is one of mii favorite songs so please just gimme some feedback. and tell me what you think of these lyrics. Opinions are appreciated.
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Could you please make my eternity
My life in the mirror
This is Me

As the Story unfolds
This pen writing my history
I feel it always cold
This is me

I remember the good & bad times
The shadows within my mind
getting lost within these words
because I just can't find
the original

Am I the person I wanted to be
But now I finally see
It's you not me
Living in eternity

These Secrets I kept inside
My love swept with the tide
As this shadow casts over me
I'm someone I never wanted to be

holding back, keeping regrets
Something I never put to rest
It's my humanity, giving up my sanity
this is my eternity

Looking in the mirror
I see someone different every time
But I think I felt who I really was again
Again, Again, Again!

Somehow I found myself
My heart going in cardiac arrest
Being revived Not alive
But not truly dead

[TheBigMachine]

I got bored after stanza three. You say 'these [objects]" or something like it too much. You use 'this' to much. The actual song writing is bland, with out imagery or alliteration. You've got some metaphors and some rather predictable rhymes, and it flows quite well which save it from sounding like prose.
The theme is a little to overdone as well.

Anyways, theres a guide to song writing at the top of the guide. It's VERY useful, so check it out.